The power of phrase . - Deepstash
The power of phrase .

The power of phrase .

  • Can I ask you for advice?" It is a simple and short phrase; easy to say, remember and repeat. It is a phrase that can be used constantly without losing its validity and, above all, has behind it the power of science to open the doors that until then were closed.
  • Using it at different times where it seems to be in a dead end; where you lack answers or in which you feel that you need to form a closer relationship .
  • It is not about magic, but about communication and science.

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MORE IDEAS FROM These 5 words will open thousands of doors for you

An elegant compliment
  • When it comes to asking for advice, we are asking for a favor as well as making a compliment.
  • We are telling the other person that they are smart, that they are brilliant, that we respect them, and that their opinion is important .
  • It is a gift to your own ego - a gift that no one will stop receiving. People, in general, like to be heard and taken into account.

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Let the other shine .
  • The key is to state the advice simply and clearly and then let the other speak, always respecting the 80/20 rule.
  • When it comes to asking for advice, we are placing the conversation firmly on the other person's court, letting them speak and express their own personality and history.
  • When you have asked for advice, do not make excuses or explanations. Answer the question they ask you, but soon return the voice to the other person.

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The Ben Franklin effect.
  • The Ben Franklin effect is a known psychological effect to change the perception that others have of us by allowing them to do us a favor.
  • They must be favors that are not heavy, annoying or expensive.
  • Psychology : since considering ourselves worthy of their time and attention forces them to see ourselves in a more favorable light , as valuable and kind people.

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Create real conversations.
  • Nobody asks for advice on worthless things. We ask for advice on things that matter and concern us, that can peek into our privacy or explore big issues.
  • Asking for advice is one of the five avenues of wealth in silence and will help you forge business, personal and friendship relationships that will pave the way for a better life.
  • So now you know. When you find a closed door, the best key is to ask for advice by creating real conversations.

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Peripatetic effect
  • When we ask another person for advice about something that interests us and we get them to be interested in it.
  • it is possible that due to the effect of mirror neurons , which generate empathy and neural alignment between two people, both can find a solution to a real problem.
  • This is not a manipulative system, but a method of thinking called peripatetic , in which, through questions, we can help other people reach conclusions that they feel as their own .

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Using The Benjamin Franklin Effect
  • Remember that the favor matters more than its scope. In most cases, the increase in rapport comes from the fact that the other person does you a favor.
  • Use reciprocity, by performing a small favor shortly before asking for one.
  • After asking for a favor, perform a small favor in return, to increase the likelihood of being helped again.
  • Be realistic with regards to who you asking for favors and what you are asking for.
  • Remember that how you ask for the favor is also important and affects your success rates. In most cases being kind and polite is the ideal.

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When you use “No worries” or “No problem” the phrase can actually have the opposite effect: just saying the word “problem” introduces the possibility that the situation wasn’t great.

Instead of “No problem/No worries,” try “I’d be pleased to,”  “Of course“ or "Certainly”. Replace the negative with a positive.

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The Benjamin Franklin Effect Mechanism

Some researchers think this effect comes from our need to reconcile us doing someone a favor and us not liking that person, so we assume that we like them. 

Other researchers think that the one being asked for help senses that the one asking wants to get friendly with them and in turn reciprocates the liking.

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