Use "I" Statements - Deepstash
De-escalate Office Tension

Learn more about communication with this collection

How to create a positive work environment

Conflict resolution strategies

Effective communication in the workplace

De-escalate Office Tension

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Use "I" Statements

Instead of casting blame and saying things like "you did this" and "you did that," try using "I" statements.

An 'I' statement stops people from becoming defensive when bringing up a topic of concern.

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Respect Their Point Of View

The best way to keep an argument calm is to be as kind as possible. Respectfully acknowledge the other person's viewpoint, even if you don't agree with it.

Say things like "I see what you're saying there," or "That's a good point.

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Make It All About Them

We naturally approach the world from our own points of view,

The key to successful persuasion is to show how and why something matters in relation to that person's life and experience.

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Don't Lose Your Cool

Losing your temper will only anger the other person, which will heighten the argument.

If you can keep things calm, you might even be able to stop the argument. 

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Switch Perspective

Step into the mind of the person you are arguing with and see their view.

This allows you to figure out what is influencing them and you can come back with a powerful counter-argument.

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Try To Politely Disengage

If the other person is truly getting out of control, it's often best to disengage. A perfect phrase to drop is: 'If you say so.'

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Keep Your Facts Straight

Quoting incorrect information weakens your point, which is essentially an automatic loss. 

Check your facts and avoid yelling about any old thing. If you aren't sure about something, you can always say, "I'd need to look into that."

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Try To Be More Persuasive

During an argument, think like a salesperson and try to be as persuasive as possible. Facts don't persuade, emotions do.

To pull on the other person's heartstrings, toss in some imagery or relate the story back to them. Hopefully, they'll calm down and see things your way.

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Validate Their Feelings

Saying things like 'I understand why you'd feel that way...' or 'Anyone would feel like that in the same situation' validates the other person's emotions and completely disarms them.

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Look At It As A Conversation

Go back to the concept of talking with someone rather than talking to someone.

It can help keep the other person cool, which pretty much always means you've won the argument.

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Avoid Using Exaggerations

Words like "everybody, always, never" are broad generalizations.

They make your point unbelievable, while also angering whoever you're talking to.

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addison_ii

Thinker. Hipster-friendly coffee advocate. Infuriatingly humble organizer.

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Use “I” statements

Use “I” statements

Instead of telling others how awful they are, using ‘I statements’ expresses your own feelings and needs, especially related to the topic that is dividing you.

This creates a peaceful resolution based on meeting each other’s needs. 

Use “I Messages”

A sentence starting with “You...” comes off as more of a judgment or an attack and puts people on the defensive.

If you start with “I,” the focus is more on how you are feeling and how you are affected by their behavior. Also, it shows more ownership of your reactions and less blame....

Reassurance

Statements like "Everything will be fine," or "It could be worse," rarely help.

Instead, try saying things like, "There's help available; we'll find it together," or “I’ve seen you get through extremely challenging times in the past, I believe in you.

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