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How to Overcome the Pain of Rejection

Judgment is subjective

You can decide to interpret rejection as evidence of someone’s perception rather than as evidence of your flawed nature.

The area rug that is beautiful to your best friend might be hideous to you, and that’s okay. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, but an opinion doesn’t determine whether a rug is truly pretty or ugly. The rug just is.

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How to Overcome the Pain of Rejection

How to Overcome the Pain of Rejection

https://tinybuddha.com/blog/overcome-pain-rejection/

tinybuddha.com

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Key Ideas

Judgment is subjective

You can decide to interpret rejection as evidence of someone’s perception rather than as evidence of your flawed nature.

The area rug that is beautiful to your best friend might be hideous to you, and that’s okay. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, but an opinion doesn’t determine whether a rug is truly pretty or ugly. The rug just is.

People who reject you are the minority

  • Estimate how many people you’ve met in your entire life. 
  • Count the number of people who have severely rejected you. 
  • Divide the second number by the first, and you’ll see how the result rarely exceeds 1%.

Is 1% significant? 

Don't focus on the rejection

You can be aware of the unpleasant experience, but if you don’t focus on it, you’ll take away its power.

Place your attention on the positive feedback and support you receive from others. Being consciously aware of the people who have encouraged you will allow you to align with high-energy emotions and positive situations.

Rejection and growth

Although rejection is subjective, you could decide to use the experience as an opportunity to contemplate your current behaviors and determine ways to grow and become a better person.

Rejection and experiencing life

Learn to see rejection as proof that you’re brave enough to take on risks and to participate in the wide realm of experiences available on this planet. 

Feel empowered by what you have accomplished.

Your self-approval matters

Your self-love and respect for your uniqueness will trump the negative emotions brought up by rejection.

You might not feel happy about being rejected, but you will bounce back quickly.

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Fear of rejection

The main reason why we are having a hard time declining other people's requests is that we are afraid to be rejected. We are afraid that people might think negatively. 

Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No
  • Saying No Doesn’t Mean You’re a Bad Person: Saying no doesn't mean that you are being rude, selfish, or unkind. These are all unhelpful beliefs that make it hard to say no. Learning where these beliefs have come from is a great way to learn to let go of them.
  • Knowing Your Value:  Learning to say no is realizing that you are valuable and choosing your own opinion about yourself over others.
  • Is It Really Worth It?: Learning to say no is also deciding if saying yes is really worth it. Think about the anguish, stress, and resentment that saying yes has caused you. Wouldn't it be so much easier and straightforward to just say no in the first place?
Helpful Tips for Saying No
  • Be direct.
  • Don't apologize and give all sorts of reasons.
  • Be honest.
  • Don't delay your response.
  • Be polite.
  • Practice saying no. This will get you feeling a lot more comfortable with saying no.
  • Know your worth. Don't mind what other think of you.
Acknowledging Emotions

Trying to minimize the pain by convincing yourself—or someone else—it was “no big deal” will only prolong your pain. The best way to deal with uncomfortable emotions is to face them head-on....

Rejection and pushing limits

If you never get rejected, you may be living too far inside your comfort zone

You can’t be sure you’re pushing yourself to your limits until you get turned down every now and then. When you get rejected for a project, passed up for a job, or turned down by a friend, you’ll know you’re putting yourself out there.

Treat yourself with compassion

Whether you got dumped by your long-term love or blindsided by a recent firing, beating yourself up will only keep you down. Speak to yourself like a trusted friend.

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Rejection

Rejection and failure and disappointment are a regular feature of ordinary life, no matter how successful someone may be. 

Any set of circumstances in which one reaches out for so...

Keep the odds in mind
Know ahead of time what the chances are of a particular effort for being successful. 

If the odds are long, that is not a reason for not trying; it is a reason not to be discouraged by failure.

For instance, sending in a resume in response to an advertised job has been studied. Approximately two percent receive a response. That is not an argument for giving up. It is a matter of the odds. Sending in a couple of hundred resumes shifts the odds in your favor. 

Keep more than one iron in the fire

Having a manuscript rejected by one publishing house is less devastating if that book is being considered at the same time somewhere else.

An unsuccessful job interview does not feel so bad if another one is scheduled for tomorrow.

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