Events + Thoughts = Emotions - Deepstash

Events + Thoughts = Emotions

Our emotions are always mediated by some form of thinking. 

If our thoughts determine how we feel, that means how we habitually think will determine how we habitually feel.

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MORE IDEAS FROM 10 Types of Negative Self-Talk (and How to Correct Them) | Nick Wignall

Change Your Negative Self-Talk
  • It can often be easier to identify examples of negative self-talk in other people first.
  • Change your (inner) tone of voice.
  • Validate your feelings instead of analyzing them.
  • Be intentional, not habitual, with your self-criticism. Schedule a time to reflect on a perceived mistake or flaw intentionally.

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Narrative Habits

The way we talk to ourselves about the events in our lives is subject to the same laws of learning and habit formation that physical behaviors are.

That means we can learn to talk to ourselves in specific ways just like we can learn to tie our shoes or say please and thank you.

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It happens when we take our own errors or flaws and exaggerate them.

We take small negative events and turn them into disasters in our minds.

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It involves assuming an exaggerated responsibility for things that are mostly or entirely outside our control.

And this leads to excessive attempts at control, which in turn leads to chronic stress and anxiety.

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It is the habit of telling ourselves that a negative event is bound to continue happening in the future.

When we overgeneralize, we make predictions about the future based on isolated pieces of evidence from the present.

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It is the tendency to evaluate things exclusively in terms of extreme categories.

It sets us up for chronic disappointment: When our expectations are consistently exaggerated, we never meet them and then always feel bad about ourselves.

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It happens when we assume we understand what other people are thinking without any real evidence.

It is a failure of imagination because we often only imagine and focus on the negative aspects.

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It is the habit of making decisions based on how we feel rather than what we value.

It's when we use our emotions and feelings as evidence for what we should or shouldn’t do. Depression and procrastination are common results of this.

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It is the habit of describing ourselves or others in one extreme way, usually negatively. 

It is always an inaccurate oversimplification.

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it involves being dismissive of our strengths and positive qualities.

It keeps us in a cycle of feeling inferior because we never focus or enjoy our true positive qualities and accomplishments.

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RELATED IDEA

False positivity

Don't fool yourself into thinking you’ve already achieved a goal, even though you haven’t, then you won’t try to achieve it, even though you should.

Consider this example. You’re overweight, you know it, and you don’t want to be. The false positive mode of self-talk would say, I’m in perfectly good shape. I don’t need to change anything. But something tugs at your mind from inside. It’s the nagging, persistent knowledge that you’re fooling yourself.

The true positive mode of self-talk : I want to lose ten pounds, and I know what I need to do to achieve it.

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By framing therapy in terms of what we need rather than what we could benefit from, many people experience too much shame or embarrassment to try it.

Not everybody needs therapy. But just because you don’t need something doesn’t mean you couldn’t benefit from it.

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Consider Finding a Therapist

It’s important to know that if your negative thoughts are persistent — impacting your quality of life and functioning — it could be a sign of something more serious. Consult a therapist or psychologist to get the best possible support.

When it comes to mental health conditions, having a sounding board from an unbiased outsider’s perspective can sometimes totally shift the way you think.

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