Your Talk/Listen Ratio - Deepstash

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6 Ways To Become A Better Listener

Your Talk/Listen Ratio

Pay attention to your talk/listen ratio.

Strive for a 2:1 ratio of listening to talking.

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Mindful listening

This constant, low-grade sense of urgency can impede genuine communication. 
Mindful listening - 
focused attention to what another person is saying, without judging or ...

Hear between the words

When you’re in conversation, set your mind to being present, receptive, and ready to listen with compassion. 

Bring yourself into the moment with a few deep breaths and ask yourself: What is this person communicating beyond the words they use? 

Use nonverbal cues
When the other person is speaking, just listen. Stay mentally active and alert. Use nonverbal signals like nodding or smiling to let the person know you’re tuned in.
Listening requires mental work
We mistake listening as easy because it looks passive and instinctive, but in reality it’s hard work. Really listening (and not just appearing to listen) re...
Mistakes we make in conversations
Our general tendency is to:
  • Evaluate: We judge what someone is saying and agree or disagree.
  • Probe: We ask questions from our own frame of reference.
  • Advise: We give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems.
  • Interpret: We analyze others' motives and behaviors based on our own experiences.
What makes a great listener
  • Asking great questions;
  • Playing attention to the nonverbal communication;
  • Forgoing taking detailed notes to pay better attention;
  • Listening with the intent to understand, not the intent to respond;
  • Making people feel heard;
  • Following up on what matters.
We're bad at listening

We come into conversations with our own agendas and low attention spans, and that can be a dangerous combination.

When you’re doing the talking, though, it’s frustrating if you’re not being h...

Being present in conversations
  • Get your face out of your phone and focus your attention.
  • Be willing to receive information.
  • Be willing to engage in the conversation and to listen with the intent to understand.
  • Be willing to stay the course and not let your mind wander.
  • Bring the conversation to a close with takeaways and next steps.
  • Respect the existence of emotions and their roles and be aware of the body language also.
  • Keep your ego out of the conversation.
What happens when you listen
  • Listening is the basis for growth and advancement. You can’t advance your skills and knowledge without understanding others.
  • Listening is also important because we all want love and respect; we want to spend time with people who listen.