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Is Vulnerability a Choice?

Vulnerability increases resilience

Without genuine vulnerability, it’s impossible to build the types of relationships that can provide comfort and help us through life's hard times.

The risk of vulnerability may be high, but the rewards of positive, healthy relationships are even higher.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Is Vulnerability a Choice?

Is Vulnerability a Choice?

https://fs.blog/2020/01/vulnerability/

fs.blog

4

Key Ideas

Vulnerability

It is the state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.

We don't like to be vulnerable because we can more easily get hurt. But we want to have a quality life, and that includes having good relationships with people we trust and love.

Vulnerability increases resilience

Without genuine vulnerability, it’s impossible to build the types of relationships that can provide comfort and help us through life's hard times.

The risk of vulnerability may be high, but the rewards of positive, healthy relationships are even higher.

Vulnerability is a part of life

We are vulnerable to viruses and accidents, misunderstandings and pain caused by our fears.

Meaningful social connections sustain us and lessen our overall weakness. When we are able to admit to our vulnerabilities, we free up energy because we no longer have to put effort into maintaining our buffers. 

Vulnerability can serve as a litmus test

When you share your vulnerability with someone, and that person cares about your vulnerability, that is the person to go with. 

By risking getting hurt, we often find we create more meaningful interactions that increase our ability to be resilient. 

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Brené Brown

“Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It’s tough to do that when we’re terrified about what people mi..."

Brené Brown

Being vulnerable

Vulnerability is a double-edged sword. Those who protect themselves to avoid getting hurt, fail to appreciate intimacy and close relationships.

Everyone is vulnerable, no matter how much they try to avoid it. We are born vulnerable and stay that way for our entire childhood. Our relationship with vulnerability is something we are acquainted with, yet abandon as we merge into adulthood.

Vulnerability = courage

Vulnerability is an act of courage because you merge with your authentic self, instead of hiding behind a facade to appease others.

To embrace vulnerability as your greatest strength, you will need to become aware of your pain points. The paintings of Rembrandt are no less beautiful because of its flaws. It is upon examining it up close that you recognise the defects, while ignoring the complete picture.

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Getting To The Root Of Your Reluctance

If you find it difficult to share your past experiences, ask yourself why you are reluctant to open up. Getting to the root of the reluctance is key.

Work Out Your Feelings First

Before you talk to your partner about something difficult, find the right words to express it first. Until you can verbalize it, it remains unknown to you and to your partner.

If you do not feel safe enough to talk through these issues, consider journaling, or talking with a counsellor until you are clear about how you are feeling.

Open Up In Small Steps

When you decide to open up, start by taking small steps to test the waters first.

The more you practice and see that you can do it, the easier it will get for you to open up.

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Kyle Cease

“Distractions are by-products of a problem. Something outside of you is pulling you away from yourself or a goal.”..."

Kyle Cease

Temptations and Interruptions

Distractions can be either:

  • Temptations: When we take a break from work to check social media
  • Interruptions: When we get annoyed or repeated emails disrupting our workflow.

While we can deal with these external problems, what can be more challenging is our internal urge to be distracted.

Covering Our Fears

Distractions are a way to mask what we are fearful of. Fear is a deception that comes from looking at something you’ve never done. It’s simply how your brain works — it believes anything could be death and everything you’ve already done has proven itself to be safe. Embracing fear makes it lose the grip on us.

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