Why we should say no to positivity — and yes to our negative emotions
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“Being positive has become a new form of moral correctness.”
Suppressing or avoiding our difficult emotions is not healthy or helpful.
Doing this impairs our capacity to deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be. And this leads to lower levels of resilience, lower levels of wellbeing, and higher levels of depression and anxiety.
An important way of dealing with a difficult emotion is to label it effectively.
Labeling your emotions more accurately helps you understand the cause of those emotions and triggers your ability to set goals and to make real concrete changes.
Identify your emotions with compassion.
Compassion allows you to foster a safe space inside of you, a space in which you feel capable of taking more risks: you’re ready to analyze and explore the world and you know that if things don’t go right, everything is still ok.
Create space between you and what you’re feeling and act as an observer by naming all the aspects of your experience.
Don't identify with your emotions. Doing this puts you in charge rather than the emotion.
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We should not view our emotions as good or bad, positive or negative. We need our emotions for real resilience.
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Write down what you are truly feeling in a personal notebook. Move beyond the rigidity of denial.
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Feelings are preceded by emotions and tend to be our reactions to them. Emotions are a more generalized experience across humans, but feelings are more subjective and influenced by our personal experiences and interpretations, thus they are harder to measure.
They can be defined as unpleasant or unhappy emotions evoked in individuals to express a negative effect towards something.
Although some are labeled negative, all emotions are normal to the human experience. And it’s important to understand when and why negative emotions might arise, and develop positive behaviors to address them.
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Self-compassion enables you to take risks while being positive about the fact that even if things do not turn out your way, everything will eventually be fine, as you are still the same person.
The main difference between individuals who show a certain level of self-compassion and the ones who show none or lower is that the first ones have the strength to stand up after having made a mistake, learn something from this mistake and be successful next time.
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You should stop judging these experiences as being good or bad, but rather look for the meaning of each and every one of them.
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