• Strong emotions on both sides;
• A focus on character rather than on behavior;
• A lack of clarity about what needs to change and why;
• Negative or critical feedback threatens not only our self-esteem but also our basic need for safety and security;

• Specific, Timely, Meaningful, and Candid;
• Goal-oriented;
• Focused on the future;
• Focused on the process, not the person;
• Isn't afraid to be negative;
• Can be positive;
• Doesn't assume it's right.

Wrong reasons:

• defend/excuse your own behavior;
• to demoralize/condemn;
• you're in a bad mood;
• to appease a third party;

to make yourself seem superior/powerful

Right reasons:

• commitment/concern for another;
• sense...

A simple template for giving effective feedback that ensures you’re hitting all the right points, that goes like this:

1. Ask to give feedback.
2. Tell them "You did X. It caused Y."
3. If you’re giving positive feedback, say "Good job."
4. If you’re gi...