Comfortable footwear

I’ve been walking around my borough collecting end times supplies in Nikes with a custom plantar fasciitis insert, and my tolerance for podiatric agony has dropped to “no ma’am.” Heels? Are you fucking hallucinating? Leave it to a pandemic to show us all the other ways we’d been suffering.

The goddamned jig is up. Post-pandemic, there will be no more foot pain. I’ll be in running shoes at all future black-tie events, and I dare you to challenge me.