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Five Communication Mistakes That Are Holding You Back

Not framing your remarks

In general, the higher up the audience, the less detail you should be providing. Frequently, executives get tuned out when they report to higher levels and provide too much detail about their topic.

FIX: Cater your comments to the highest level person in the room, and address what he or she will find valuable. Put the details in an appendix or have them ready so they're available, and you can easily pull them out if asked.

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Five Communication Mistakes That Are Holding You Back

Five Communication Mistakes That Are Holding You Back

https://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2011/07/15/five-communication-mistakes-that-are-holding-you-back/

forbes.com

5

Key Ideas

Failing to ask for clarification

Not asking for clarification because of fear of looking incompetent in front of authority.

FIX: If you don't understand what success looks like, ask for clarification, specifics or examples. If you ask well-informed questions, you'll look a whole lot smarter than if you execute incorrectly.

Not framing your remarks

In general, the higher up the audience, the less detail you should be providing. Frequently, executives get tuned out when they report to higher levels and provide too much detail about their topic.

FIX: Cater your comments to the highest level person in the room, and address what he or she will find valuable. Put the details in an appendix or have them ready so they're available, and you can easily pull them out if asked.

Littering your speech with qualifiers

Using qualifiers such as "I think" or "we might" or "I hope to" before your points. It lacks confidence.

FIX: Start paying attention to how you use language, and if you're hiding behind qualifiers. Tape yourself or ask a colleague to take note of when you use them, and find a comfortable phrase to replace them such as "I plan to" or "I will."

Being negative to appear analytical

This norm serves a great purpose in that bad ideas can be debated and debunked. However, it also kills a lot of good ideas as well. 

FIX: Stop yourself from first pointing out what's wrong in a situation, and make it a habit to jump to what's right instead. 

If an idea is simply rotten, say how much you appreciate the thought or effort, and explain why you feel it falls short and how it can be improved. If you kill it, provide an alternative.

Being overly agreeable

This occurs when we want so much to be a likable team player that we come across as a yes person. Every idea is great, each deadline is possible, and new projects are all upside.

FIX: When you find yourself tempted to state agreement even though you don't feel it, express your true opinion. You can still say this politely, and rather than simply say what you can't do, let the person know what you can do, and believe to be the best solution for all.

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  1. Using a One-Size-Fits-All Communication Approach. Tailor the communication style to the intended audience.
  2. Speaking More and Listening Less. Listen to what is said, how it is said, and to what is not said.
  3. Assuming Instead of Asking More Questions.
  4. Using Negative Tone. Choose words carefully to eliminate negative reactions.
  5. Avoiding Difficult Conversations.

  6. Reacting, Not Responding.

  7. Not Keeping an Open Mind. Accept and respect differences, listen without judgment and consider all sides of an issue.

Chaining

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Precommitment

Precommitments are actions that get you invested in going to the gym. If you’ve committed to going with a partner, you’re hardly going to leave them hanging.

Similarly, bringing clothes with you to work, packing your gym bag in advance, or laying out your workout clothes before bed for a morning workout are tricks that make it easier to stay consistent.

Rewards

In order to be effective, a reward needs to occur frequently and immediately after a workout. 

Plus, it needs to be associated with going to the gym – the reward doesn’t mean much if you can have it whenever you want.

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The Relationship Scorecard

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Dropping “Hints”

It shows that you two are not comfortable communicating openly and clearly with one another. 

State your feelings and desires openly. And make it clear that the other person is not necessarily responsible or obligated to them but that you’d love to have their support.

Holding the Relationship Hostage

For example, if someone feels like you’ve been cold to them, instead of saying, “I feel like you’re being cold sometimes,” they will say, “I can’t date someone who is cold to me." 

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