81 SAVED IDEAS
Many people squirm in their seats when someone's compliment catches them off guard.
A study of more than 400 people showed that 70% associated receiving a compliment with feelings of embarrassment or discomfort.
We most often feel uncomfortable if compliments catch us by surprise. When we're surprised, we move through the following sequence:
Nobody is able to change their first response to compliments overnight. It takes time and practice.
Learning to take a compliment well starts with self-awareness.
Get curious about your learned behaviours and how they impact your response to a compliment.
Phone anxiety - or telephobia - is the fear and avoidance of phone conversations.
It is more than just disliking a phone. You may feel extremely nervous or anxious before, during and after the call. You may obsess or worry about what you will say. Physical symptoms include nausea, shortness of breath, dizziness, and muscular tension.
Phone calls only focus on our voice. Other social cues are absent, making talking on the phone daunting.
The best way to overcome phone anxiety is to make more phone calls.
If you've tried to overcome your phone anxiety or need professional help, counselling might be a great option. Cognitive-behavioural therapy is another effective treatment.
We are more likely to share a video or an article that creates a very strong positive or negative emotion in us.
These emotions could be: excitement, happiness and even anger.
Feeling inspired motivates us to better ourselves. It energizes us and pushes us beyond pursuing self-interest to helping others.
Asking sensitive questions can help build stronger relationships. However, we should know how to seek useful information while minimising the discomfort we feel.
We often avoid asking questions that feel too sensitive or personal. But, when negotiating a salary or finding a place to stay, knowing how much a coworker earns or how much a friend pays in rent can be very useful.
Research points out that people avoid asking sensitive questions out of fear that they would offend the other party. But when they finally did ask sensitive questions, most people were far less offended than expected.
Moreover, asking personal questions also triggered meaningful conversations that fostered stronger relationships.
Most of us have felt offended at a remark. However, we have probably also experienced the shock of finding out that others were offended by our comments, even if we had no intention of hurting them.
We take offense at explicitly rude language directed at us. We also take offense at what was meant or implied by a comment.
Our expectations are mostly formed in the context of our relationships with others. When they are breached, we tend to feel offended.
We often take offense outside our personal relationships—for example, a comment on Facebook that ridicules or questions something we find important or of value.
We use our values and beliefs to make judgements. Our belief in specific values may be an important part of our identity and explains why we take offense when those values are not respected.
If you are not sure if you will cause offense, try to put yourself in the shoes of the people you are talking to. Ask yourself if you are saying what they would realistically expect you to say and if you are treating them fairly.
If you feel you take offense too quickly, consider what the offending person may not know about you. Rather than being angry about a comment, remember that they may have a different experience and worldview.