Rather than the usual ‘what do you do for a living' or ‘where do you live’ consider a few of the following questions:<ul><li>In your professional life, what do you think is the most exciting thing?</li><li>In your personal life, what is exciting you the most at the moment?</li><li>If money wasn’t an issue, would you be doing something different?</li><li>In five years from now, what would you ideally like to be doing?</li><li>Do you have a favorite charity organization? Why do you choose them?</li><li>Who is a role model to you and why?</li><li>Who in your life has been significantly influential to you?</li></ul>

When meeting a new person

If you really want to be influential, you want to encourage people to come up with your idea ‘all on their own’:<ul><li>Don’t use the phrase ‘I have an idea’. Subtly push the other person in the direction of your idea and the results. Don’t be explicit.</li><li>You could try explaining the opposite of what you are after. Identify the issues of this option and hopefully, the other person will find your idea as the solution.</li><li>If the other person mentions your idea, whether close to or exact, embrace it and encourage them.</li><li>You can suggest alterations to their idea when it’s not quite what you wanted. </li></ul>

Influencing people

What does it take to win success and influence? Some people think that in today’s hyper-competitive world, it’s the tough, take-no-prisoners type who comes out on top. But in reality, argues New York Times bestselling author Dave Kerpen, it’s actually those with the best people skills who win the day. Those who build the right relationships. Those who truly understand and connect with their colleagues, their customers, their partners. Those who can teach, lead, and inspire. In a world where we are constantly connected, and social media has become the primary way we communicate, the key to getting ahead is being the person others like, respect, and trust. Because no matter who you are or what profession you're in, success is contingent less on what you can do for yourself, but on what other people are willing to do for you. Here, through 53 bite-sized, easy-to-execute, and often counterintuitive tips, you’ll learn to master the 11 People Skills that will get you more of what you want at work, at home, and in life. For example, you’ll learn: · The single most important question you can ever ask to win attention in a meeting · The one simple key to networking that nobody talks about · How to remain top of mind for thousands of people, everyday · Why it usually pays to be the one to give the bad news · How to blow off the right people · And why, when in doubt, buy him a Bonsai A book best described as “How to Win Friends and Influence People for today’s world,” The Art of People shows how to charm and win over anyone to be more successful at work and outside of it.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

books

Books

What does it take to win success and influence? Some people think that in today’s hyper-competitive world, it’s the tough, take-no-prisoners type who comes out on top. But in reality, argues New York Times bestselling author Dave Kerpen, it’s actually those with the best people skills who win the day. Those who build the right relationships. Those who truly understand and connect with their colleagues, their customers, their partners. Those who can teach, lead, and inspire.   In a world where we are constantly connected, and social media has become the primary way we communicate, the key to getting ahead is being the person others like, respect, and trust. Because no matter who you are or what profession you're in, success is contingent less on what you can do for yourself, but on what other people are willing to do for you. Here, through 53 bite-sized, easy-to-execute, and often counterintuitive tips, you’ll learn to master the 11 People Skills that will get you more of what you want at work, at home, and in life. For example, you’ll learn:   ·  The single most important question you can ever ask to win attention in a meeting ·  The one simple key to networking that nobody talks about ·  How to remain top of mind for thousands of people, everyday ·  Why it usually pays to be the one to give the bad news ·  How to blow off the right people ·  And why, when in doubt, buy him a Bonsai   A book best described as “How to Win Friends and Influence People for today’s world,” The Art of People shows how to charm and win over anyone to be more successful at work and outside of it.

Dave Kerpen

The Art of People

It does not use reasons that contradict each other, contradict the conclusion or explicitly or implicitly assumes the truth of the conclusion. Checklist:<ul><li>Does the communication include at least one reason to support the conclusion as being true? If not, it is not an argument, but an opinion.</li><li>Could any of the key premises be interpreted as making the same claim as the conclusion? If so, then it’s a “circular argument” without independent reason given to support the conclusion.</li><li>Do any of the premises contradict another premise, or does the conclusion contradict any of the premises?</li></ul>

Structure of a well-formed argument

A premise is relevant if it provides some bearing on the truth of the conclusion. Checklist:
<ul>
<li>If the premise were true, does it make you more likely to believe that the conclusion is true? If yes, the premise is probably relevant.</li>
<li>Even if the premise were true, should it be a consideration for accepting the truth of the conclusion? If no, then the premise is probably not relevant.</li>
</ul>

The relevance of a premise

<ul><li>Structure: Explicitly call out your conclusion and the supporting reasons.</li><li>Relevance: Ensure that all materials you’re presenting as part of your argument are relevant. </li><li>Acceptability: Soften any absolute claims to make them more acceptable. (e.g. “most politicians” instead of “all politicians”) </li><li>Sufficiency: Put yourself in your audience’s place, and see if the reasons are sufficient to accept your conclusion.</li><li>Rebuttal: Declare upfront what the weakest parts of your argument are and proactively address them.</li></ul>

Making your own argument stronger

This principle is a judgment call. Checklist:<ul><li>Are the reasons provided enough to drive to the arguer’s conclusion?</li><li>Is the premise based on insufficient evidence or faulty causal analysis? Some premises provide evidence that is based on too small a sample or unrepresentative data.</li><li>Is some key or crucial evidence missing that must be provided in order to accept the argument?</li></ul>

Sufficiency

A premise should be acceptable to a mature, rational adult.The claim should meet the following standards:<ul><li>It is a matter of undisputed common knowledge.</li><li>It's confirmed by one’s own personal experience or observation.</li><li>It's an uncontroverted claim from a relevant authority.</li><li>It's a relatively minor claim that seems to be a reasonable assumption.</li></ul>

Acceptability

A good argument includes an effective rebuttal to all anticipated serious criticisms of the argument. Arguers often use arguments that misrepresent the criticism, bring up trivial objections as a side issue, or resort to humor or ridicule are using devices that clearly fail to make effective responses. Checklist:<ul><li>Does the provided argument address the strongest counterarguments effectively?</li><li>Does the arguer anticipate and address serious weaknesses in the argument?</li><li>Does the argument show why alternative positions are flawed?</li></ul>

Rebuttal

In our daily lives, we're constantly hearing or making persuasive arguments. We may be listening to a colleague's argument for why we should support one of her initiatives. We may hear an argument for why we should buy a certain product. Or we may need to make our own argument to get approval for one of our projects.

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

problemsolving

Problem Solving

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

The 5 Principles of Good Argument

<ul><li>The relatively slow work of getting a person’s perspective is the way you understand them accurately, and the way you solve their problems most effectively. </li><li>The main barrier to getting perspective is that others won’t tell you what you’d like to know. They lie, mislead, misdirect, avoid, or simply refuse to divulge the truth. </li><li>The main reason people lie is to avoid being punished, and so enabling people to give you their perspective requires putting them in a context that diminishes the fear of punishment. </li></ul>

Get The Perspective Of The Other

Mindwise Book Summary explores why we see human motivations in inanimate objects, why we fight others and why we are strangers to ourselves. If you’re interested in human behaviour and why people separate others into groups, this is the book for you.

An exploration of the human mind's capacity for instinctive understanding about the feelings and desires of others explains how the ability or inability to understand the minds of those around us leads to connection or conflict.

mindfulness

Mindfulness

Winner of the 2015 Book Prize for the Promotion of Social and Personality Science (Society for Personality and Social Psychology) Why are we sometimes blind to the minds of others, treating them like objects or animals instead? Why do we talk to our cars, or the stars, as if there is a mind that can hear us? Why do we so routinely believe that others think, feel, and want what we do when, in fact, they do not? And why do we think we understand our spouses, family, and friends so much better than we actually do?In this illuminating book, leading social psychologist Nicholas Epley introduces us to what scientists have learned about our ability to understand the most complicated puzzle on the planet—other people—and the surprising mistakes we so routinely make. Mindwise will not turn others into open books, but it will give you the wisdom to revolutionize how you think about them—and yourself.

Nicholas Epley is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Nicholas Epley has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Nicholas Epley's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Nicholas Epley

Mindwise

The word but is an adversative conjunction. That means that it puts two ideas together, opposing each other, whether to add a detail to a statement, give it more depth, or contradict it. If we look at it from a psychological point of view, we usually use this word to justify things, put them off, or not do them.One place we really use it a lot is in phrases like “Yes, but". Those two little words are really about self-sabotage. We make unnecessary or imaginary obstacles to get in the way of us doing anything.Professor Roth suggests to replace those buts with the conjunction and.

Take  'but'  out of your vocabulary

The second big recommendation professor Roth makes is to exchange the expression “I have to do” for “I want to do” When you say “I have to do” you put yourself in the realm of obligation. That’s very discouraging. It means that you might want one thing, but you have to do something else, even though you don’t want to. So using have to starts you off in an emotionally uncomfortable place.Bernard Roth says that if you do something, it’s never because you’re truly obligated to; you’ve chosen to. So by getting rid of the expression, you take responsibility for the life you live.

Exchanging  'have to'  for  'want'

Language will have an effect on your emotions and brain depending on how you use it. In fact, Bernard Roth says that if you take just two little words out of your vocabulary, your life will change.

Taking Two Words out of Your Vocabulary Can Change Your Life

<ul><li>Transactional: people are exchanging information, updates, and facts that help us confirm if we are on the same page. There is not a lot of trust and people are focused on what they need to get from each other to confirm and validate their own perspectives.</li><li>Positional: here individuals are advocating for what they want and are seeking to ascertain whether they can influence the other individual to share their perspective. </li><li>Transformational: individuals conversing at this level seek to share their views and learn more about the perspectives of the others they are talking to.</li></ul>

The Conversational Dashboard: 3 Levels of Conversation

“To get to the next level of greatness depends on the quality of our culture, which depends on the quality of our relationships, which depends on the quality of our conversations. Everything happens through conversations!”

Good conversation starters for any social situation

corporateculture

Corporate Culture

teamwork

Teamwork

career

Career

Conversation Starters

The key to success in life and business is to become a master at Conversational Intelligence. It's not about how smart you are, but how open you are to learn new and effective powerful conversational rituals that prime the brain for trust, partnership, and mutual success. Conversational Intelligence translates the wealth of new insights coming out of neuroscience from across the globe, and brings the science down to earth so people can understand and apply it in their everyday lives. Author Judith Glaser presents a framework for knowing what kind of conversations trigger the lower, more primitive brain; and what activates higher-level intelligences such as trust, integrity, empathy, and good judgment. Conversational Intelligence makes complex scientific material simple to understand and apply through a wealth of easy to use tools, examples, conversational rituals, and practices for all levels of an organization.

The Art of People

The 5 Principles of Good Argument

Mindwise

It's time to
Read like a Pro.

Taking Two Words out of Your Vocabulary Can Change Your Life

CURATED BY

The Art of People

The 5 Principles of Good Argument

Mindwise

It's time to Read like a Pro.

Taking Two Words out of Your Vocabulary Can Change Your Life

CURATED BY

It's time to
Read like a Pro.