How To Spot Manipulation

• Confront Bullies, Safely

  

  Manipulators become bullies when they intimidate or harms others, and pick on people they perceive as weaker. But standing up to bullies often cause them to retreat.  When confronting bullies, be sure to place yourself in a position where you can safely protect yourself, whether it’s standing tall on your own, having other people present to witness and support, or keeping a paper trail of the bully’s inappropriate behavior. 

  How to Spot and Stop Manipulators

• Set Consequences

  

  When a psychological manipulator insists on violating your boundaries, and won’t take “no” for an answer, deploy consequence. Effectively articulated, consequence gives pause to the manipulative individual , and compels her or him to shift from violation to respect.

  How to Spot and Stop Manipulators

• Know How To Say “No”

  

  Diplomatically but firmly. A well articulated “no” allows you to stand your ground while maintaining a workable relationship. 

  How to Spot and Stop Manipulators

• Use Time To Your Advantage

  

  Manipulators often expect immediate answers, to maximize their pressure and control over you in the situation. Don’t answer right away and use time to your advantage by saying you will think about it. Take the time you need to evaluate the pros and cons of a situation, and consider whether you want to negotiate or just saying “no.”

  How to Spot and Stop Manipulators

• Ask Probing Questions

  

  Psychological manipulators make requests of you that often make you go out of your way to fulfill them. When they do so, ask questions about the unfairness of the request , to see if the manipulator has enough self-awareness to recognize it in their scheme. If the manipulator has a degree of self-awareness, he or she will likely withdraw the demand . Truly pathological manipulators (such as a narcissist) will dismiss your questions and insist on getting their way.

  How to Spot and Stop Manipulators

• Avoid Personalization And Self-Blame

  

  A manipulator’s agenda is to exploit your weaknesses, it is understandable that you may feel inadequate, or blame yourself for not satisfying the manipulator. In these situations, it’s important to remember that you are being manipulated to feel bad about yourself and that’s not your fault nor is the problem at hand.

  How to Spot and Stop Manipulators

• Keep Your Distance

  

  One way to detect a manipulator is to see how they act in different company and situations.  When you observe this type of behavior from an individual on a regular basis, keep a healthy distance, and avoid engaging with the person unless you absolutely have to. They don’t change easily and is not your job to change or save them.

  How to Spot and Stop Manipulators

• Know Your Fundamental Human Rights

  

  They are your boundaries and, as long as you do not harm others, you have the right to stand up for yourself and defend your rights. Psychological manipulators want to deprive you of your rights so they can control and take advantage of you . But you have the power and moral authority to declare that it is you, not the manipulator, who’s in charge of your life.

  How to Spot and Stop Manipulators

• Manipulative Individuals

  They know how to detect your weaknesses . They use your weaknesses against you. They convince you to give up something of yourself that serves their self-centered interests. Once a manipulator succeeds in taking advantage, they will likely repeat the violation until you put a stop to the exploitation.

  How to Spot and Stop Manipulators

• Psychological Manipulation And Social Influence

  

  Psychological manipulation is the exercise of undue influence through mental distortion and emotional exploitation, with the intention to seize power, control, benefits, and privileges at the victim’s expense.  Healthy social influence occurs between most people, and is part of the give and take of constructive relationships.

  How to Spot and Stop Manipulators
• “Manipulation is an emotionally unhealthy psychological strategy used by people who are incapable of asking for what they want and need in a direct way. People who are trying to manipulate others are trying to control others.” Sharie Stines, therapist

  How to Tell If Someone Is Manipulating You-And What to Do About It

• Manipulation

  ... is an emotionally unhealthy psychological strategy used by people who are incapable of asking for what they want and need in a direct way, to  control someone or something to their advantage, often without anyone knowing it.

  How to Tell If Someone Is Manipulating You-And What to Do About It

• Common Types Manipulators

  

  The two most common types of manipulators are bullies and “victims” . Bullies make you feel fearful and might use aggression, threats and intimidation to control you, while “victims” engenders a feeling of guilt in their target by acting hurt when denied something.

  How to Tell If Someone Is Manipulating You-And What to Do About It

• Gaslighting

  

  The term refers to manipulation that gets people to question themselves, their reality, memory or thoughts . Gaslighters twist what you say and make it about them, hijacking the conversation or making you feel like you’ve done something wrong when you haven’t. Gaslighted people often feel a false sense of guilt or defensiveness, as if they failed completely or did something wrong when they didn’t.

  How to Tell If Someone Is Manipulating You-And What to Do About It

• ‘Mr. Nice Guy’

  

  This manipulator might be helpful and do a lot of favors for other people, but they have secret expectations and not meeting them makes you out to be ungrateful. Exploiting the norms and expectations of reciprocity is one of the most common forms of manipulation. 

  How to Tell If Someone Is Manipulating You-And What to Do About It

• Manipulation Techniques

  

  The ‘foot-in-the-door’ technique consists of making a small and reasonable request, which then leads into a larger request . The initial appeal we supposed to make you feel more comfortable and invested in cooperating. The ‘door-in-the-face’ technique consists of making a big request, having it rejected, then making a smaller one. Following the larger request, the smaller appeal seems reasonable comparatively.

  How to Tell If Someone Is Manipulating You-And What to Do About It

• 

  "Getting it right is expensive, getting it first is cheap."  - Michael Arrington, founder of TechCrunch, on news.

  What is Media Manipulation?--A Definition and Explanation

• Media Manipulation

  

  It’s when media uses its reach and persuasion power to make people do or think things they otherwise would not . This often comes in the form of exaggeration, distortion, fabrication and simplification.

  What is Media Manipulation?--A Definition and Explanation

• Roots Of Media Manipulation

  

  Media manipulation exploits the difference between perception and reality using the still remaining trust for truthful content it once had. But the current fast and hyper-competitive nature of the media business driven by clicks and often guided by untrained bloggers or malicious sources contributes to the spread of misinformation even among the mainstream media.

  What is Media Manipulation?--A Definition and Explanation
• “A manipulator doesn’t believe there are any win-win situations. If someone else wins, that means they lose, and they have no intention of losing.”

  How to Spot Manipulation: The Five Types of Manipulators

• Dealing With Manipulators

  

  Manipulators do most of the manipulation unconsciously, as a survival mechanism.  Manipulation stems as a defense mechanism of an unwillingly twisted mind and these people need professional help. While you don’t have to judge these people, you should always try to keep a safe distance until they begin to truly trust you and drop the act. 

  How to Spot Manipulation: The Five Types of Manipulators

• The Scorekeeper

  Treats life as a contest in which they set the rules and frame the scoreboard in order to always win. He/she keeps tabs on owed favors and call them in when he/she wants to control you.

  How to Spot Manipulation: The Five Types of Manipulators

• The Judge

  Views the world through a black and white prism of right and wrong . They set the standards based on their decisions, lord them over others as having superior judgment to maintain authority and power and refuse to admit any mistakes.

  How to Spot Manipulation: The Five Types of Manipulators

• The False Hero

  Leads people to believe they have something better to offer than others. They often promise a vision which seems too good to be true and can’t deliver it.

  How to Spot Manipulation: The Five Types of Manipulators

• The Fearmonger

  Makes people suffer the consequences for perceived insubordination . They fear being perceived as vulnerable, so they surround themselves with weaker people and project strength and dominance while praising submissive loyalty.

  How to Spot Manipulation: The Five Types of Manipulators

• The Flopper

  THey overdramatize and perpetuate their victimhood in order to gain sympathy and attention, often choosing an oppressor who may or may not be at fault for their perceived problems. They use guilt to gain and maintain control over people.

  How to Spot Manipulation: The Five Types of Manipulators