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Self Improvement

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Feeling underestimated

Many of us can feel underestimated. You're excellent at work, but you may not be paid your worth, or your potential is not acknowledged. Your parents can't believe you made the dean's List. Some of your friends are surprised when you meet someone great.

These messages can be painful. When people underestimate us, they hold negative assumptions that can make us question our own abilities.

@adeebschultz

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Self Improvement

When you are underestimated, it's vital to know that the situation has nothing to do with your capabilities. It might be triggered by racism, gender, age, etc.

Consider what you can control. You can't control how others behave, but you can focus on what you can control, such as your values.

If you're feeling underestimated professionally, it could help to break away from prejudiced social circles and reach beyond your job or industry to connect with others.

Consider joining some intellectual group not connected to your job so that you can relate to people in a different way that demonstrates your abilities.

It can be beneficial to align yourself with supportive people who are also working toward similar goals. For example, connecting with other women who are driven, desire to do more, or are competitive in a healthy way.

Be committed to a long view of your vision. Press on toward your dream despite the naysayers.

Don't underestimate your value. Be the first person to put you in the right place. You belong up here, not down there.

When you realize that a person underestimates you by trying to shame, gaslight, or humiliate you, turn the tables in the moment. "We're going to have to agree to disagree." They will be uncomfortable because you're not going with their assumption about you.

Defining Mindset

Mindset is a determined set of attitudes, beliefs, in which guide the individual's life either fulfilling their potential or hindering them from it.

It is the engine behind the process of how we pursue our goals, our perspective in life, and the behaviors we exhibit towards other people and society.

  1. Meta - this mindset level encompasses our attitude towards the world. Our perspective in life is fundamentally based on this level including the work we do, and our perception of our roles in life.
  2. Macro - this mindset level focuses on our mental disciplines to put our personal and business mission into motion.
  3. Micro - this mindset level is what produces the concrete steps necessary to create a viable and sustainable roadmap for our projects and future ventures.

These five key focuses are the core outcomes that many leaders and entrepreneurs seek to achieve for both personal and business successes:

  • Personal Satisfaction
  • Meaningful Contribution
  • Innovation
  • Resilience & Scalable Growth
  • Financial Robustness.

Each focus requires a specific mindset pattern in order to further develop and continuously assess one's current mindset in order to adjust theirs to better support their goals.

  1. Eradicate the belief that mindset is a pattern that is difficult to change.
  2. Determine what your current focus is.
  3. Explore and ascertain your meta mindset. Identify the journey that you are on and whether or not you're willing to continue the said journey.
  4. Delve into what your micro mindset is.
Travelling Solo

Travelling alone can be the ultimate in self-indulgence: You can do what you want to do and rest when you want. Your mistakes are your own, and your triumphs are more exciting.

But without a companion to watch your back, you are more vulnerable. But, a little preparation and common sense can save you money and give you the ultimate experience.

  • Do your homework. Know how long it takes and how much it costs to get from the airport to your hotel.
  • Arrive during the day. Areas around bus and train stations can be scary or deserted, and small towns tend to shut down early.
  • Book a hotel with a 24-hour front desk if you'll be arriving late.
  • Check your maps and transportation schedules before leaving your hotel/rental car.
  • Register with the State Department. U.S. citizens travelling internationally can consider signing up for the free Smart Traveler Enrollment Program (STEP). It could assist you in case of an emergency.
  • Stick to open and public places, especially at night.
  • Trust yourself. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.
  • Appear confident. Walk confidently and with direction. If you are lost, walk into a shop or restaurant and ask for directions. Don't let on that you are alone.
  • Leave a copy of your itinerary with a family member at home, and keep regular contact via phone, text, etc.
  • Trust everyone and no one. While you might want to meet new people, it makes you more vulnerable. Be open-minded, but keep your guard up enough to ensure your safety.
  • You can avoid the single supplement by booking with a tour operator that doesn't charge single supplements.
  • Many tour operators offer roommate matching.
  • You can sometimes save money by booking at the last minute. Tour operators eager to sell out their last few places may be willing to reduce their usual single supplement.
  • You may also want to consider staying in a hostel which charges per bed.

Many solo travellers find dining alone most unpleasant.

  • Chat with the service people.
  • Choose the right eatery. Sitting alone with a book in a cafe isn't as unusual as a table for one at a restaurant.
  • Bring reading material.
  • Eat in if you can't endure another public meal alone.
  • Eat well.

The constant sensory input and vigilance of travelling alone can wear you down. Don't be afraid to back off a bit.

When travelling abroad, seek out an expat bar where you can hang out and speak your native tongue. A night in your hotel room can often give you enough of a reprieve to send you out ready the next morning.

Dopamine and expectations

Unmet expectations, no matter how small or unimportant, are enough to put us off. Brain research on expectations shows that dopamine cells in the brain fire off in anticipation of primary rewards. When a cue from the environment indicates that you will get a reward, dopamine releases in response.

But if you're expecting a reward and you don't get it, dopamine levels fall drastically. This feeling is akin to pain. Expecting a pay rise and not getting one can create a funk that lasts for days.

Good levels of dopamine in your prefrontal cortex are critical for focusing.

Positive expectations increase dopamine levels in the brain, and these increased levels make you more able to focus. Teachers know that children learn best when they are interested in a subject. That interest, desire, and positive expectations are variations of the increased level of dopamine in the brain.

Whether you want to be happy or improve your performance at work, it would be useful to improve how you manage expectations to create the right dopamine levels.

  • The best way to manage your expectations is to start to pay attention to them and be proactive in regulating your emotions.
  • Set the scene for good performance rather than fixing problems when they go wrong.
  • Keep your expectations low but also pay attention to positive expectations you know will be met.

Research shows that happy people solve more problems and come up with more ideas. The search for happiness is perhaps really a search for the right levels of dopamine.

To create a 'happy' life, perhaps we should live a life with a good amount of novelty, create opportunities for unexpected rewards, and have a positive outlook.

There are six basic emotions

In the 1960s, researchers started to study facial expressions that matched six basic emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear, and disgust.

Some researchers now say there are fewer than six basic emotions, and others say there are more (up to 21). But the idea remains that emotions are biologically universal to all humans, and displayed through facial expressions.

  • In the 1950s, psychologists were focused on behaviourism while mostly ignoring emotions.
  • The word "emotion" did not exist in the English language until the early 17th century.
  • For centuries, the mental state to which "emotions" now refer were called either passions or affections.
  • In the early 19th century, Scottish philosopher Thomas Brown was the first to propose emotion as a theoretical category. However, he was unable to define it.

When asked to explain in words what emotion is, we may come up with ideas that feel right, such as "sensitivity to events," or "your mind's reaction to experience," but fundamentally, emotions are intangible and the definitions offered are not good enough for science.

Words like "joy" and "rage" describe a set of complex processes in the brain and the body that are not always related.

A 1980 study found that when people were shown photographs with posed pictures, people were 80 percent likely to label the expressions correctly. However, when they were shown photos of spontaneous emotions, the rate of recognition went down to 26 percent.

Psychologist Paul Ekman claims that microexpressions can show what people are feeling, even when they try to hide it.

Critics state that facial expressions are not the measurement of emotions. Measuring what someone actually feels is difficult to do with anything other than self-report. However, even this methodology is inefficient since the memory for emotional experience is highly unreliable.

There is still no consensus on what emotions are. Scientists agree more on what emotion does than what it is.

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