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Self Improvement

109 STASHED IDEAS

  1. Have a "To Stop" list. Identify the behaviour you want to stop and what you should do instead.
  2. Decide the type of person you want to become, then you won't take isolated incidents carelessly.
  3. Identify your Why. Why do you want to start a business? Why do you want to lose 14 pounds?
Kyle Red (@redkyle) - Profile Photo

@redkyle

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Self Improvement

That workout we skip or the project we procrastinate on are not isolating incidents. They will compound, and while they're unnoticeable today, they will have an effect over time.

Choosing comfort over stretching yourself becomes a cause set in motion and a reason to do it again and again.

Every time you decide to do the easy thing, instead of the right thing, you are shaping your identity.

If you want to change where you are going, you need to do what's right. Self-discipline is built one step at a time, especially when you don't feel like doing it. For example, when the alarm clock goes off, you can choose to hit the snooze button and go back to sleep, or you can get out of bed and make progress towards your goals.

Hal elrod

We mistakenly assume that each choice we make, and each individual action we make, is only affecting that particular moment, or circumstance.

The Appeal Of Doomsday Novels

The ongoing pandemic is a once-in-a-century event that has put the feeling of comfort at a premium. One such unexpected source of comfort is the relatively new genre of cli-fi, that is the dystopian world of climate fiction: stories related to environmental devastation revolving around either the pre-apocalyptic ‘before’ or the post-apocalyptic ‘after’.

This genre is a rising trend, with novels that offer climatic doom or widespread ecological calamities becoming award-winning bestsellers.

  • In uncertain times, the appeal for novels telling stories of havoc and wrenching loss is rising. With anxiety and uncertainty all around us, the narratives offer a degree of hope, humour and catharsis.
  • The disorientating environment, existential despair and the many new challenges which are part of the narration in dystopian novels provide a new kind of thrill and entertain the readers even with their bleakness.
  • The new kinds of decisions that many have to make offer an extreme alternative of what could happen, resulting in the readers re-examining their current relationships and feeling better.

Climate Fiction, or Cli-Fi is the latest hot trend in the literary world, and feels less like imagination and more like the near future.

We get the feeling that things could be much worse than now, when the outside world is almost dystopian and highly uncertain. The extreme bleakness in the hot-selling novels is complicated by the fact that the problems described are normalized in the minds of the reader.

To find a perfect career, we need to be good at what we do. It may be a technical skill like writing or coding, or something different, like designing homes, or cooking.

Intangible soft skills, ignored for decades, have now become important. These include emotional intelligence, empathy or making boring topics sound interesting.

Your Career And Your Life

We spend almost 25 percent of our adult life in our jobs, which most of us hate. So we basically wake up every morning and do something which we don’t even like to do.

We need to find a career that does not make us miserable all the time, and according to the Japanese concept of IKIGAI, it is the intersection of three things:

  1. What we value.
  2. What we are good at.
  3. What the world values.
  • What we like doing is a hobby, but if it is valued by the world, it becomes a career.
  • We can figure out our strengths and what we value, and look for commercial opportunities that align with our working styles and quirks.
  • We all have our own preferences and working styles, like the desired level of freedom, what we get paid, and how respected we feel.
  • We can also be an entrepreneur and create opportunities where the current market or level of interest is under-serving, filling the gap left by others.

What we are passionate about is often superficial, but what we value, we can do no matter how difficult the circumstances, because we derive meaning and value from it. It is different from a compulsion or an addiction.

We need to ask three questions to direct our energy:

  1. What big problem exists that people don’t care enough about?
  2. What problems do you enjoy tackling just for fun, but others don’t?
  3. What do you naturally start to do when left on your own?

Being observant does not mean being obnoxious or intrusive. It is done with subtlety and purpose. We assess for two things primarily:

  • Danger: How does this situation or individual make me feel? If you are walking to your car at night and see someone walking briskly towards you, your inner voice will make you more alert, and you can act on the feeling and avoid possible danger.
  • Comfort: Does this person make me feel comfortable at all times? Never ignore clues that say something is wrong.
We have become observationally lazy

Observation is as important now as it was a thousand years ago. However, we have to do it more quickly and efficiently because we may run into fifty strangers in a day where our ancestors saw only a few.

We often see people distracted while driving (applying makeup, making phone calls, texting) and getting into traffic accidents. When we fail to observe, it leads to avoidable circumstances. It can increase the chances of being victimized. Someone may say, "I had a feeling, in the beginning, that something wasn't right."

Observation is about seeing the world around you, having situational awareness, and interpreting what others communicate verbally and nonverbally.

Good observation skills allow us to test and validate what others intend for us. Are they kind, unselfish, empathetic? Or selfish, cruel, indifferent, and apathetic? If we discover it early enough, we can spare ourselves.

We Are Wasting Attention

Attention is the most fundamental human resource to our lives, relationships, and quality of work, yet none of us are connecting like we once did.

The intense focus that we once had seems to have gone, and with it, the satisfaction that comes from deep thinking. We need to get back on track by learning how to redirect our attention.

We frequently give too little thought to how best to manage distractions.

  • Being pulled away from whatever you are focusing on right now damages productivity.
  • The distractions come with greater stress, exhaustion, and physical pain.
  • A 2.8-second interruption can cause a doubling in mistakes.
  • Once you're interrupted, it takes nearly half an hour to return to the task.
  • To achieve the same level of deep focus will take another 15-minutes.

How we manage our attention drives how we manage ourselves. How we manage our collective attention drives collective performance.

At work, as the number of inputs and distractions increase, controlling our attention becomes an essential skill to master. When we focus our attention on a project or campaign, the chances are that focused attention will lead to our most exciting moments in life.

Multitasking makes us better at being distracted and weakens self-control.

  • Research shows that multitasking undermines performance, increases mistakes, and prevents deep learning.
  • The more we multitask, the worse we tend to be at it.
  • Multitasking undermines our ability to weed out the irrelevant. Everything feels like a priority.

Yet, many people are waking up to the essential importance of attention and prepare effective responses to improve the quality of attention.

Strong relationships are formed by the exchange of attention. If you have even been on a video call with someone that seems clearly distracted, how does it make you feel? When the family is engaged with their individual phones while eating dinner, how connected does the family seem?

Attention is a way to deepen a connection. When we understand the function of attention, we can be more conscious of how we use it.

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