129 SAVED IDEAS
We all have experienced strong emotional reactions in our lives when our mind is overwhelmed and in turmoil. We struggle to manage our feelings and usually don’t know what to do with them.
This results in the emotions getting stuck inside us, manifesting in mental or physical problems.
When we try to manage and cope up with our emotions by redirecting, deflecting or changing our thoughts, we attempt to emotionally regulate ourselves, but if we are too overwhelmed, we cannot effectively regulate our emotions. We then experience emotional dysregulation, something that happens in moments of acute distress.
Emotional dysregulation happening too often results in depression, suicidal thoughts, self-harming, eating disorders and substance abuse.
Biosocial Theory states that some people have higher levels of emotional sensitivity, and react strongly to events and situations. They also remain in emotional pain for a longer time, having intense feelings like anger, sadness, shame or anxiety.
Often children are pervasively invalidated, routinely getting the information fed in their heads that they are somehow inferior and worthless.
Created by American psychologist Marsha Linehan, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is used for treating personality disorders whose symptoms include chronic emotional dysregulation and suicidal thoughts.
DBT provides people with the four skill sets to manage their emotions:
We do not give our emotions any thought, and move through them mechanically, making them the masters of our behaviour. Anyone can push the wrong buttons and trigger us in a few seconds.
We need to be aware of our emotions and feelings by asking ourselves the following:
Once these questions are asked, we can identify the exact emotion we are going through.
Emotions are not good or bad, they are just emotions. One can validate the emotions and accept them. A good way is to write down on a piece of paper what all you feel and then reflect on the same.
Whatever the urge is when we feel angry, depressed, or sad, try to do the opposite of that, doing the reverse of what the urge is telling us to do. One should not suppress their emotions but healthily channelize them.
There are three basic modes of thinking that we operate on:
Combining our mind and heart balances our perspective and helps us understand the value of our reasoning and our emotions, without neglecting any one of them.
For those of us struggling with intense emotions, we can try an exercise for practising non-judgemental behaviour:
Repeat a certain statement like ‘I am lazy’ or ‘I am sad’ and see how it feels emotionally. Notice that after constant repetition, a particular emotion arises in us and we experience a reaction. Now practice a similar repetition but be non-judgemental in the process, not adding fuel to the emotion.
After a few weeks, our awareness towards judging our emotions increases, helping us manage our emotions more effectively.
The most effective people and teams go through life deliberately alternating between two zones: the learning zone and the performance zone.
The performance zone maximizes our immediate performance, while the learning zone maximizes our growth and our future performance. The reason many of us don't improve much despite our hard work is that we tend to spend almost all of our time in the performance zone. This hinders our growth, and ironically, over the long term, also our performance.
The learning zone is when our goal is to improve. Then we do activities designed for improvement, concentrating on what we haven't mastered yet, which means we have to expect to make mistakes, knowing that we will learn from them.
That is very different from what we do when we're in our performance zone, which is when our goal is to do something as best as we can, to execute. Then we concentrate on what we have already mastered and we try to minimize mistakes.
Demosthenes, the greatest orator in ancient Greece, did activities designed for improvement.
This involves breaking down abilities into component skills, being clear about what subskill we're working to improve, giving full concentration to a high level of challenge outside our comfort zone, just beyond what we can currently do, using frequent feedback with repetition and adjustments, and ideally engaging the guidance of a skilled coach, because activities designed for improvement are domain-specific, and great teachers and coaches know what those activities are and can also give us expert feedback.
We spend so much time in the performance zone because most of the time our environments often are, unnecessarily, high stakes. But there are still things we can do about it:
Dinosaurs first appeared between 247 and 240 million years ago. An extinction event wiped them out 65,5 million years ago, except for the avian dinosaurs.
Scientists think the extinction was likely because of an asteroid impact, chemicals from erupting volcanoes, climate change and other factors.
Fossils reveal that some of the more advanced dinosaurs had feathers or featherlike body covering.
Well-known dinosaurs like the Tyrannosaurus rex, Deinonychus and Velociraptor fall into this order. Saurischians are divided into two groups.
In 1842, palaeontologist Richard Owen coined the term dinosaur. The Greek deinos means "terrible," and sauros means "lizard" or "reptile."
Based on the structure of the hipbones, dinosaurs are classified into two orders:
Ornithischians include horned and frilled Triceratops, spiked Stegosaurus and armoured Ankylosaurus.
They often lived in herds and were prey to the larger species of dinosaurs.
In 2017, a study suggested that this hip-oriented classification was incorrect.
Theropods are likely related to the ornithischian dinosaurs. The theropods and Ornithischia form a newly identified group known as Ornithoscelida. If this is correct, it may explain why both theropods and Ornithischia have feathers, while other dinosaurs don't.
Minimalism isn’t about frugality, but about creating space in our lives. It provides us with the tools to stop clutter from entering our lives and to get rid of useless stuff to make room for us.
The space around us isn’t just physical but includes the digital, mental, emotional and spiritual components that impact us in ways we don’t fully understand. Everything that we love: things like creativity, joy, laughter, needs space to exist.
We think we need things that we don’t really need, and by not buying such stuff we make room for things we truly need.
We need to tollgate our impulse to buy anything by asking ourselves if it sparks joy in our lives or not.
The more things we have, the more rooted, anchored or grounded we become to where we are.
When we are worried about our stuff lying somewhere we are unable to travel with ease and cannot be on the road spontaneously.
We are usually handcuffed to our busy schedule and have no time for the little joys of life, like having a stroll to the nearby coffee shop.
Creating space in our schedule, and stopping to smell the flowers or watch the sunset creates moments of serendipity in our lives that help us feel the magic of being alive.
Our thoughts, especially the creative kind, are blocked by physical clutter.
Mental clutter, the stuff that is bouncing in our minds, needs to be placed somewhere else, like in a notebook. A decluttered mind helps us with connecting ideas in innovative ways.
Let go of toxic people from your lives, creating space for life-giving, and loving people to enter.
Some people are toxic but still take up lots of space in our lives. These people suck our joy, drain our energy, waste our time and resources, and leave us feeling worse than before.
2020 has shown us how important it is to upgrade our skills, which can be done in the comfort of our homes.
Creating space inside our minds is crucial if we want to learn and grab new opportunities and challenges.
Creating space provides us with room to enjoy and savour our breaks, our moments of joy, allowing us to live and breathe in the present, not worrying about the next deadline.
We don’t enjoy our cup of coffee anymore, due to the weight of life upon us all the time. We always need to rush and finish up our fun, getting back to the grind.