Love & Family

61 STASHED IDEAS

  • The gaze is when someone looks at you and keeps looking even after the typical "look away" moment. When undesired, this becomes the "creep stare." When desired, this is a clear sign of interest.
  • The gaze plus a smile is a clear sign telling you they're interested.
  • The dreamboat is when you wake up in the morning to someone staring at you with a dreamy smile. This happens when someone has fallen for you.
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@rhettm40

Love & Family

Some people find eye contact difficult because they suffer from trauma. Some have attachment issues or are self-conscious. Others may be shy or inexperienced.

  • No eye contact (intentional) is when someone consciously makes an effort not to look at you. They're not interested in you. It's a way of saying "get away from me" without saying it.
  • No eye contact (unintentional) signals that they are busy focusing on something else and have not noticed you.
The power of eye contact

We intuitively understand the power of eye contact. It can say a thousand unspoken words. - from the stern look in your mother's face to the scrutinising gaze of the interviewer.

Highlights of what eye contact does:

  • It's arousing. Someone staring back at you could make you all sweaty.
  • It holds attention.
  • It makes people believe you.
  • It makes people think you're smart. We tend to judge people who make eye contact with us as more intelligent and competent.
  • It makes you seem more sincere.

Eye contact is something you can practice and get good at.

  • If making eye contact with strangers is too difficult, start with people you feel comfortable with. Learn to look into your best friend's eyes when they tell you about their day, not at their ears or the wall behind them.
  • Another trick if you feel uncomfortable looking into someone's eyes is to stand a little further away. The closer you stand to someone looking at you, the less you're able to make eye contact.
  • The unconscious glance. Someone's eyes are coincidentally meeting yours for a moment, then continue wandering. This level of eye contact is neutral.
  • The conscious glance. Your eye meets theirs, and they look away consciously, whether because of shyness, awkwardness, or disinterest.
  • Glance and a half. A slight interest is conveyed. Someone holds eye contact with you for a split second longer than expected.
  • Double glance. If you make eye contact and they look away, keep looking at them. Some will look a second time - a sign of physical interest.
How to Keep Resentment From Controlling Us

For us to be able to keep resentment from controlling us, we must be open to the idea of emotional forgiveness into our lives. When we welcome this idea, it helps us to get rid of any negative emotions so that we may create a new psychological reality.

It also aids us in having more flexible thoughts, we are then available to see things from a new perspective may they be in the form or people, relationships, or projects, moreover, we can then manage our anger properly.

Resentment

A person who has experienced trauma is prone to feelings of resentment. This is not to say that they don't have the right to be angry, they do, but they don't process this anger and let go.

Resentful people hold on to the fiery experiences because they want to be able to throw the pain back to those who've hurt them. However, they would also hurt themselves in the process.

Characteristics and Psychological Profile of Resentful People
  1. They are unable to forgive.
  2. They have a black and white mindset (dichotomous thinking). They are living with a distorted cognitive reality where they don't realize that they do this.
  3. They have an immense amount of pride. They are always on the defensive and tend to take everything personally.
  4. They are unable to tend to their own emotional and psychological needs.

Resentful people tend to remain stuck in a state of anguish up to the point where it will continuously interfere with their daily life. Their mood changes, they are distrustful of other people and they also tend to mistreat others just because they feel entitled to do so.

Those who hold resentment in their hearts tend to keep repeating the event over and over again in their heads. The pain that they feel then turns into anger to hatred to wanting to get revenge.

Controlling behavior

Control is a way for us to build relationships; it usually begins without any malicious intent but eventually it becomes clear that it isn't a great foundation for a healthy relationship or connection.

Conventionally 3 things make control easier: money, talent, or physical attractiveness.

Whether you're the controller or the one being controlled, it is possible to move forward and make changes for the better.

  1. Be wary of their actions and yours. Think about everything you do and ask yourself "what if" you were the one receiving the action.
  2. Be considerate. Remember that the only behavior we are responsible for is our own and the choices we make based on that.
  3. Practice self-reflection. It is important to know what you have to offer and ask yourself what they can help fulfill.

People who consistently undermine or cause harm to a partner (whether intentionally or not) often have a reason for their behavior, even if it’s subconscious. 

Maybe they were in a toxic relationship, either romantically or as a child. Maybe they didn’t have the most supportive, loving upbringing. They could have been bullied in school. They could be suffering from an undiagnosed mental health disorder.

Warning signs

The most serious warning signs include any form of violence, abuse or harassment, which should be dealt with immediately. But in many cases, the indicators of a toxic relationship are much more subtle: Persistent unhappiness, negative shifts in your mental health, personality or self-esteem, feeling like you can’t talk with or voice concerns to your significant other.

  • If you feel that you’re in physical danger, you may need to involve the authorities. 
  • If the harm is emotional or mental, you’ll have to decide if it’s possible to work through the issue. 
  • If underlying triggers such as depression or trauma are influencing one or both individuals’ behaviors, therapeutic or medical treatments may help. 
A toxic relationship

Is any relationship between people who don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there is competition and there is disrespect.

A toxic relationship is consistently unpleasant and draining for the people in it, to the point that negative moments outweigh and outnumber the positive ones.

We normally interact and hang out with people whom we are comfortable with. They inhabit our 'Safe Harbor of the Known'.

Outside our comfort zone, there will be people who inspire, intrigue us, and annoy us. When you jump out of our comfort zone to be with people who challenge, push, and even irritate us, then we grow and reach our fullest potential.

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