Love & Family

85 STASHED IDEAS

Tough Compassion

The idea of tough compassion has been gaining traction because the pastel-colored version of it is proving to be unhelpful at the moment.

The idea has been described by psychologist Dacher Keltner who said that it is in line with the Buddhist tradition of stepping in to guide the person onto a different form of behavior.

The goal of true compassion is to find ways to promote the least suffering for everyone, and so, there must be the willingness to bear but also the capability to inflict some discomfort in the moment to promote longer-term well-being.

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Love & Family

A healthier alternative to the silent treatment
  1. Admit that something is wrong.
  2. Openly address conflict without yelling or chastising the other person.
  3. Work on your listening skills and actively listen to each side.
  4. Collaborate to solve problems. It's you and them vs the problem, not you vs them.
  5. Learn to accept rifts that would never go away.

Does the silent treatment work?

livescience.com

Say out loud the exact amount of time you'll be taking a break from the conflict, with a timeline for when you'll pick the conversation back up.

If you are on the receiving end of the silent treatment, voice your pain of being ignored. It may cause a change and open up communication. However, if the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge your existence for long periods, it might be right to leave the relationship.

What You’re Saying When You Give Someone the Silent Treatment

theatlantic.com

Estranged: Rifts In The Family

Estranged relationships are common in families, with feuds being especially brutal among siblings. There have been stories throughout history, from Cleopatra to Genghis Khan, of the unheard of ruthlessness by which family members with whom there is a clash have been disposed of.

Various modern studies show a sizable percentage of families are fractured, with estranged family members and disputes going on for at least four years. An estimate shows that as much as 20 percent of American adults are in a state of ‘estrangement’ among their family members.

How to repair a family rift | Psyche Guides

psyche.co

Most childhood friends are made accidentally. Adults can act maturely and find out certain acquaintances that they would want to be friends with. Once they identify a ‘friend’ candidate, they would need to do something called a ‘small leap’.

A small leap is a step where we ask an acquaintance to join us for a small activity, which may be a common interest. It could be a morning jog or just going to the market for some impulsive shopping. This small step is a tiny risk and carries an awkwardness(on both sides), so not many people are comfortable with it.

How to Make Friends as an Adult

raptitude.com

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