Staying in Love

  • The Benefits Of Sex

    Schedule it if necessary. Having sex regularly helps with keeping a relationship from going stale and drives up the testosterone system, which makes you want to have more sex. You also have all the cuddling, which is going to drive up the oxytocin system and give you feelings of attachment.

    The Science of Staying in Love - Mindful

  • Avoiding Routine

    Trying new things  will keep the relationship from coasting into routine. this drives up the dopamine system and can sustain feelings of romantic love. This doesn’t have to be a major change, like taking a trip around the world or deciding to have a baby. Little things, like trying a new recipe together, or going for a walk around the block instead of staying in for a movie, can provide the novelty your brain craves.

    The Science of Staying in Love - Mindful

  • The Benefits Of Touch

    Touch is proven to foster connection, it drives up the oxytocin system and can give you feelings of deep attachment to your partner. 

    The Science of Staying in Love - Mindful

  • Appreciation Rather Than Judgment

    Instead of focusing on what you don't like and trying to change your partner with judgment, appreciate what is wonderful about him/her.  This doesn't mean avoiding problems, as it is vital to learn from the difficulties but being judgmental is detrimental to love.

    Relationship Advice: 5 Choices To Help You Stay In Love

  • Don't Shy Away From Conflict

    Much can be learned from how you each deal with conflict, and avoiding it keeps you from that knowledge.  An inability to resolve conflict is a major reason why in-love feelings fade away.

    Relationship Advice: 5 Choices To Help You Stay In Love

  • Ask In-Depth Questions

    Ask the important questions -- about values, money, children, religion/spirituality, past relationships. If you are afraid to be forthright in your questions, then the fear itself is letting you know that your fear of rejection may be in charge -- which means you have more inner work to do.

    Relationship Advice: 5 Choices To Help You Stay In Love

  • Take It Slow

    For a sexual relationship to be deeply satisfying on the physical as well as on the emotional level, there needs to be deep caring and connection. It’s important to distinguish the euphoria of infatuation from love, the latter only comes over time. Beware of those who want to rush things as it is often a sign of neediness and narcissism.

    Relationship Advice: 5 Choices To Help You Stay In Love

  • Learn To Love Yourself

    Do the inner work you need to do to be happy on your own. If you don’t take responsibility for your life and feelings or often judge and harm yourself, you will meet someone who is also abandoning themselves in various ways. We meet each other at our common level of self-abandonment or health, so do the work you need to do to feel happy, peaceful and full of love inside. 

    Relationship Advice: 5 Choices To Help You Stay In Love

  • Responding To Urgency

    Stay-in-love couples are authentic, open, and self-reliant, but they also urgently need one another at times. They trust each other won’t take advantage of their availability  but know that when urgency calls, their partner will rapidly respond. Their mutual goals are to resolve and to reconnect , leaving distress behind as soon as possible.

    6 Keys to Staying in Love

  • Dealing Constructively With Control

    Stay-in-love partners know that the need to feel in control at times is natural and that it offers an opportunity for learning and helping each other. Partners have confidence in their own autonomy to not react defensively or take it personally. 

    6 Keys to Staying in Love

  • Parenting Each Other

    As relationships mature, many begin to feel less willing to give that kind of unconditional nurturing, and might not be as available.  Stay-in-love couples understand the importance of not letting those special “sweet spots” die. They know that their partner sometimes needs to feel that guaranteed comfort and safety, and are more than willing to act as the good parent when asked. 

    6 Keys to Staying in Love

  • Requests For Connection

    Good partners honor the other’s feelings and thoughts, especially when trying to work through difficult emotional issues.  Stay-in-love couples don’t ignore a partner who wants to connect for any reason. Even when distracted or preoccupied, they try to understand what their partner needs, and decide together how they should handle it. 

    6 Keys to Staying in Love

  • Refusing To Assign Blame

    During a conflict, many blame their partner for what's wrong but find hard to look at their role in it amidst strong emotions.  Stay-in-love couples know that their partner’s views must be respected and honored, however different they are. They strive to understand and find a truth that allows for both. 

    6 Keys to Staying in Love

  • Resolving Conflicts

    Honest and authentic couples accept that there will be disagreement and know that, worked through successfully, it can add interest and intrigue to a relationship. They also know that unresolved repeated conflicts can threaten and ultimately damage relationships. They focus on understanding why they disagreed and how to better handle it, instead of seeking to be right. 

    6 Keys to Staying in Love

  • Solutions To Basic Communication Mistakes

    Criticism : complain without blame. Content: regularly express appreciation, gratitude, affection, and respect for your partner. Defensiveness: accept responsibility, even if only for part of the conflict. Stonewalling : stop any conflict discussion and call a timeout.

    How to stay madly in love (7 ideas)

  • Couples Who Stayed Together

    When disconnected, they ache for reconciliation.  avoid blaming each other in arguments or disputes,  try to meet one another’s needs  parent each other a little understand that the future and relationships are uncertain.

    How to stay madly in love (7 ideas)

  • Potential External Threats

    Be proactive about warding off threats to your relationship. Avoid lots of time apart, or unwise behavior such as hanging out with people you used to be on/off with. You can’t guarantee fidelity, but you can do your best to make the relationship the container that you each value so highly, that going elsewhere isn’t desirable.

    How to stay madly in love (7 ideas)

  • Flirt With Them

    Never stop romancing them. This’ll let them know for sure you’re still crazy about them. Also still kiss them hello and goodbye. Small gestures like this help us all to experience love from our partners.

    How to stay madly in love (7 ideas)

  • Forgive Them

    In close relationships, people are bound to occasionally say thoughtless things, or neglect you somehow. But unless it has seriously upset you, forgive them right away . Not harboring grievances is a key way we protect our relationships from internal threats. Couples that stay in love forgive each other for minor grievances.

    How to stay madly in love (7 ideas)

  • Listen To And Value Them

    When you listen, even on seemingly insignificant discussions, you understand your partner better and it shows you continue to give them the same attention you gave them in the beginning.   Unless you are together all the time, never stop asking them how their day went. Nobody else cares enough to ask them consistently.

    How to stay madly in love (7 ideas)

  • Doing The Things That Make Them Feel Loved

    Couples naturally become more complacent in pleasing each other as the relationship progresses. Notice what you do that your partner seems to really respond to. Love is subjective, we show and receive it differently, so you need to know how to love them in their language and not neglect that. 

    How to stay madly in love (7 ideas)