Where would our conversations at work, networking events, or elsewhere be without small talk?Small talk inspires much more than trivial babble, often setting in motion some of our most-valued relationships.We often overlook the importance of this deeply rooted yet habitual part of our social fabric. Small talk allows us to tap into relationship dimensions of power, solidarity, formality, and function using what linguists call topic management to lead conversations toward intended outcomes, like business or networking pitches.

Creating Conversations Is how We Create Relationships

Everyone can forge mind-to-mind connections through creative, lesser-known small talk strategies and techniques from the field of linguistics to create more meaningful "small talk" that leads to rewarding "big talk."Stories can be lightning rods that supercharge our conversations, actively "syncing up" our minds so that we're not just sharing meaning with each other but human experience itself.In a world of constant connectedness, envision small talk as a spectrum where you can navigate your social and career prospects toward success

The Science of Small Talk

Ever feel like you know someone after exchanging just a few words? There’s a lot behind that phenomenon, from speech rhythms to body language and even breathing.


Stashed ideas

The secret science behind the power of small talk

One of the most common and unfortunate mistakes with a new contact is commenting on their photo or physical appearance. LinkedIn is not the platform for this, even if the compliment was made with pure intention.There are other better aspects of a profile to comment upon to lead off with, such as their summary or work experience, and it’s best to stay focused on the business side of things. It’s natural to want to start things off on a positive note with a compliment, but it’s best to aim for a different angle with new contacts.

Don’t comment on their photo

There’s nothing worse than receiving a connection request from what seems like an automated robot. When connecting with someone you’ve never met, it’s helpful to personalize your initial message towards the recipient. This doesn’t mean you need to write them an entire letter, but you should read their profile and spend enough time crafting your message so they know you are a human. If you can do this while also letting some of your personality shine, your outreach is far more likely to succeed.Also, be mindful not to send too many requests in a day.

Be personal with your approach

<ul><li>Time is valuable for the business-minded users of LinkedIn, and cutting to chase will be appreciated by your busy audience. </li><li>Let the contact know who you are and what you are looking for right out the gate, whether it be a demo of your services or advice in your field.</li><li>Being direct saves both sides time. This show of respect and transparency will pay dividends down the line for both your immediate connection success rate and long-term reputation in the industry.</li></ul>

Be specific (and honest) about your intent

Providing multiple avenues of contact on your LinkedIn profile does a world of good for your page. Listing your email, phone number, etc., on your profile increases the chance your requests are accepted. In addition, it adds legitimacy that you are a real person who is open to business opportunities.

Make contacting you easy and accessible

Before reaching out to any new contact, remember that the prospective connection will almost certainly scan your post history and profile.Even if someone hasn’t actively commented on your post or looked at your profile, they still can see some of your past activity. So, it never hurts to fine-tune your profile and post history to ensure everything listed is accurate and relevant to your current goals.

Remember your visibility

It can be a bit off-putting to ask for something of value before providing anything of worth to a connection. Getting around this is difficult but not impossible. It can be as little as an insight into a recent post or an idea for collaboration. This moves you from the needy categorization into a more contributive tone, which is far more attractive to new connections.

It’s best to give before taking

Be specific and honest about your intent.

LinkedIn: 6 Things to Keep in Mind When Connecting With Someone You Don't Know

Professional networking has many known benefits. Research suggests that higher status individuals have larger social networks, and seasoned professionals are most actively reaching out to their networks and pursuing new connections.
Yet many people shy away from it. A LinkedIn survey found that almost 80% of professionals consider networking essential to career success, although 40% admit it is challenging.

The benefits of professional networking

The prevailing wisdom about how social networks are built suggests that people's networks are formed mainly by forces outside of their control, such as the neighbourhood they grew up in, schools they attended, or others' interest in networking with them. While this is true, new research suggests that individuals actually do have agency in building their networks.

How social networks are built

<ul>
<li>Research shows that higher income was associated with larger social networks, but only among those who believed that people get ahead by their own talents and hard work.</li>
<li>For those who believed that luck or help was a main factor of success, wealth was not associated with network size.</li>
<li>Those who believed that social status is an indicator of someone's quality caused high-status people to network more than low-status people. This is because high-status people believe they offer more value and don't feel they're taking advantage.</li>
</ul>

The connection between beliefs and networking actions

Consider the value you bring to the relationship. The more value you bring, the more comfortable you feel about doing this type of work. Similarly, business leaders desiring to push mentoring and networking should encourage employees to understand their value. Even juniors are indispensable to the success of the project.

How to find networking more comfortable

The ability to network successfully lies in how people perceive their own success and professional value.

The key seems to be how people perceive their own success and professional value.

Why Are Some People More Reluctant to Network Than Others?

Most people see email as a strictly transactional tool, using it only when they need something or owe someone something. That’s exactly why you should use it to stand out.

People love to feel appreciated. Instead of worrying about all the things you need to do in the morning, take a moment to thank someone for what they do for you. “Thanks for all your support during that last big project” or “I’m so glad we get to work together. Thanks for being my sounding board” is all you need to say to make an impact.

An Email Saying "Thank You

The fastest way to get what you want is to get to know the people who <a href="https://forge.medium.com/the-power-of-doing-the-right-things-consistently-1e7430bc0efb">already have it </a>. Send a message to someone a step or two further ahead in their career and let them know how their work has impacted you. I like to <a href="https://forge.medium.com/how-to-get-on-the-radar-of-people-you-admire-5f6646a65c45">use the formula </a>: “Thanks to your work doing X, I’ve been able to accomplish Y.”

An Email To someone you admire

There’s something magical about someone you don’t know very well showing interest in you. Often, it’s even more validating than when a friend encourages you, because they really don’t have to do it. One sentence can impact someone for a lifetime. Neill taught me to always <a href="https://michael-thompson.medium.com/to-add-meaning-to-your-career-be-a-name-dropper-1d60514b2c85">lift as you climb </a>.

An Email Lifting sometime

Reach out to someone you recently met during a training session or through a mutual friend. See if they’re up for a chat. We all need more eyes looking out for us.

An Email to someone you just met

It’s harder to network with new people, so why not use your energy to check in on the people you used to work with? It’s a good way to learn about what’s going on in your industry.

An Email to an Old Co-Worker

Save your boss from having to make rounds before the weekend. Tell them what you’ve got going on: “Here’s where we stand regarding W, X, Y so far this week. I’m focusing on Z tomorrow. But if there’s something that needs to be pushed, let me know.” It will help you understand your priorities and show that you’re organized.

A Thursday afternoon email to your blood

When I talked to <a href="https://medium.com/u/1ceb119b8919?source=post_page-----2358f8451ef9-----------------------------------">Melody Wilding, LMSW </a>, the author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Trust-Yourself-Overthinking-Channel-Emotions/dp/1797201964">Trust Yourself </a>, she suggested I send myself a Friday afternoon message with a run-down of the week. Try it: Write down your wins, a few things you learned, and any idea that made your week a successful one. It’s a simple exercise, but it really helps you <a href="https://forge.medium.com/you-still-need-an-after-work-routine-when-working-from-home-9850c1e3ccc7">transition out of work mode </a>and realize that what you’ve done is enough.

A Friday Afternoon email to yourself

Networking is something we often struggle with. Here's a few ideas I read that helped me a lot in reaching out. 

Most people see email as a strictly transactional tool, using it only when they need something or owe someone something. That’s exactly why you should use it to stand out. Taking a moment to send…

Career

The 7 Emails You Should Send Every Week to Get Ahead in Your Career

If you are tired of getting your email lost in other people’s inboxes and looking to use alternative correspondence, this article is for you.

How to write impactful emails

<ul><li>perfect formal phrase, a classic</li><li>genuine & comes from the heart</li><li>says thank you</li><li>a beginning line</li></ul>

1. It’s great to hear from you

<ul><li>top performers ask for advice rather than feedback</li><li>flatters & butters up the person you're emailing</li><li>but polite & respectful too</li><li>helps improve your performance</li></ul>

2. I’m eager to get your expertise on [insert topic]

<ul><li>a phrase that congratulates or signifies your appreciation for their personal activity</li><li>great way to win the favour of the recipient</li><li>an excellent way to deepen a relationship</li><li>helps you grow relationships with your colleagues</li></ul>

3. I loved your recent [insert activity]

<ul><li>use when you haven’t seen someone in a while and hope to continue to grow the relationship</li><li>add details to this phrase on why it was great to see them</li><li>don’t assume that the other person remembers seeing you</li><li>helps you connect with colleagues you have lost touch with</li></ul>

4. It was great to see you [insert where]

<ul><li>you see something that reminds you of someone in a positive way, you should send that energy out into the world and share those thoughts with the other person</li><li>don't be afraid to share what you are thinking</li><li>it works because you make work more personal and less formal</li><li>everyone loves to hear that other people are thinking about them</li></ul>

5. This [article or photo] made me think of you

<ul><li>a twist on the “I hope you had a good weekend.”</li><li>goes into your curiosity about how their day is going</li><li>better than, “how are you?”</li></ul>

6. I hope today is treating you well

<ul><li>works when you are emailing the other person, and they responded within 24 hours</li><li>thanking the other person that they made you a priority should not go unnoticed</li><li>if your colleagues work/live in a different time zone, this shows how grateful you are for their time and input</li><li>colleagues like to work with others who are humble and thankful</li></ul>

7. Thank you for your quick response

Ensure your emails get read and you become known as a good person with good email correspondence etiquette. Intelligent people have mastered phrases that make sure their emails are returned.

Bringing It All Together

Smart people at work compose emails differently. This article will walk through formal and informal phrases that work when you are writing emails at work.

The secret science behind the power of small talk

LinkedIn: 6 Things to Keep in Mind When Connecting With Someone You Don't Know

Why Are Some People More Reluctant to Network Than Others?

The 7 Emails You Should Send Every Week to Get Ahead in Your Career

Smart People Compose Emails at Work Using These 7 Phrases

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