“The bad side of love? What is this guy talking about? I thought love would be sweet and like the best thing that will ever happen to you?!” Yes, but love is not just the rainbow after the storm. You need to experience the storm first before getting to the rainbow.

BAD SIDE OF LOVE

Love is yet just another idea to a being with feelings and thoughts. Somehow they develop these feelings and thoughts about what the bad things are that they obtain. These are called insecurities.

What Is Love?

The heart and the mind combined can be powerful and dangerous, possibly at the same time, to others and to themselves. When you feel like you’re your physique, your genitals or generally everything in your body is not up to your standards, you must remember that you are born with them and still possesses them.

Insecurity

"I think, therefore I am.You are what you think, and you think what you are. These extends to what you think about other people in general. When you hate/criticize/discriminate against the things you hate about that person, that usually means that they are qualities you have as a person.

René Descartes

If you try to learn how to love yourself, you’ll realize that the things that you’ve been insecured about are not so bad after all. You learn to love all of you, and that leads to loving everyone and everything. You’ll attract yourself to all of you. You’ll attract those who are attracted to all of you. Love is just a byproduct of what it feels like how to be better within yourself and others, and basically everything.

How To Get Over Your Insecurities?

The storm has passed. Do you see the rainbow now?

Question

INSECURITIES
 
“You’ll attract those who are attracted to all of you.”

Self-development

Love

"The objective of being human is to grow."we grow and we learn, sometimes the learning part may stop for us but we gather our thoughts and remember the times we really used to think, for real. Think real things, that are productive and were helpful towards us....So, it's okay for people to stop growing for a moment (or as much time as one need) to gather their thoughts, take a deep breathe and remind yourself of all those things that makes you wanna go on. Even if those things are as little as one's habit of procrastinating but getting their job done or having negative thoughts but smiling.

"It Can Feel As Though We've Hit Rock Bottom"

life won't be the same each and every passing year, to learn and to accept is what some may find hard or difficult. The fact that you are imperfect is not a sign that you have failed; it is a sign that you are human, and more importantly, it is a sign that you still have more potential within you.Having potential or not is not anyone's business to judge, but one's business to find out about it. Accept it and move on with it. Make it a part of yourself. Embrace it with grace and convenience. Savouring every moment into the imperfect gestures makes it more human-like. More normal.

"Nature Is Imperfect And Because Of That Growth Is Possible."

These ideas make ME want to live again, to the fullest. Okay, maybe not the "fullest". But atleast try and live without worrying about my past and future and focus on present. In calm and positive manner. (Hopefully) :)

THIS IS A BOOK ABOUT SELF-SABOTAGE. Why we do it, when we do it, and how to stop doing it-for good. Coexisting but conflicting needs create self-sabotaging behaviors. This is why we resist efforts to change, often until they feel completely futile. But by extracting crucial insight from our most damaging habits, building emotional intelligence by better understanding our brains and bodies, releasing past experiences at a cellular level, and learning to act as our highest potential future selves, we can step out of our own way and into our potential. For centuries, the mountain has been used as a metaphor for the big challenges we face, especially ones that seem impossible to overcome. To scale our mountains, we actually have to do the deep internal work of excavating trauma, building resilience, and adjusting how we show up for the climb. In the end, it is not the mountain we master, but ourselves.

Motivational quotes

The Mountain Is You

We may feel that we are not smart enough to do what we do. One explanation for this is the Dunning-Kruger effect: when you are incompetent, you can't know you're incompetent and can't properly assess your own competence. Research shows that incompetent students think they are much better than they are and top students underestimate themselves.

Feeling insecure about what you know

When you start on a learning path, you may feel confident in learning, but the better you get, the more self-conscious you become of what you can't do or understand. When you delve deeper, you'll find some ideas that get sharpened and others that get more complicated and nuanced. It can cause you to start doubting yourself. This feeling of self-doubt is a feature of learning and arise from two causes:<ul><li>The structure of knowledge and skills</li><li>Social comparisons with experts</li></ul>

Delving into knowledge

Knowledge structures. The more knowledge you learn, the more subtle patterns appear. Consider learning English. The word "good" may be sufficient until you know words like "fine", "excellent", "stupendous", sublime."
Social comparisons. When you start, you may compare yourself to your peers. But the more you learn, the more you compare your quality to experts. Unfortunately, this is not always helpful.

Knowledge structures and social comparisons

There are two approaches:<ul><li>"Leave it to the experts." While it is true that the most informed speak the clearest, it is also true that fields of expertise can develop closed intellectual cultures where certain assumptions get ingrained.  The best answers come from open and deliberate processes.</li><li>Try to be honest but humble. Do your best, and be open to changing your mind if some people who know more than you disagree with you.</li></ul>

Dealing with intellectual insecurity

How do you cope with feelings of intellectual inadequacy? Are the stupid really cocksure while the smartest are full of doubt?

Stashed ideas

What if You Don't Feel Smart Enough?

When you’re not rooted in your own worth, you go out of the way to make others happy. A lack of inner love translates into a need for constant approval and appreciation by others.To do:<ul><li>Take note of the times you go against your own will and do something you don’t want to do. </li><li>Start to become aware of this behavior. The first step to ending the people-pleasing game is to acknowledge that you're playing it. </li><li> You can start to practice standing up for yourself and drawing boundaries where you need to.</li></ul>

1. You love to please others.

Not only do you want others to be happy, but you also want to be agreeable. You show up to help, go out of your way to be there for someone, and are enthusiastically present for the people you care about. <h3>To do:</h3>Practice saying “no” to small, inconsequential things. Practice saying no to requests from acquaintances and work colleagues. Work your way up to saying “no” to people you love and care about.

2. You have a difficult time saying no.  

You are sensitive to criticism and your feelings are hurt quickly. Sometimes, you're not sure if you even deserve to have a good career or be paid what you’re worth.To do:Work on healing your heart and building up your self-worth. Find activities that help you feel good about yourself. Take part in sports or other activities that build up your self-image. Practice opening your heart to accepting gifts, compliments, love, and compassion.

3. You don’t believe you’re enough.

You immediately feel the urge to compare yourself to others. You’ll go out of your way to look for people who are smarter, kinder, better-looking, healthier, nicer, friendlier, etc.To do:Remove yourself from situations where you feel like you’re comparing yourself to those around you. This may mean spending less time on social media and unfollowing people who make you feel worse about yourself. Spend less time with people who intentionally or subconsciously make you feel less than.

4. You compare yourself to others every chance you get.

You focus on your mistakes, faults, and inadequacies. You imagine the worst-case scenario in every situation and expect that you’ll screw it up.To do:Reflect on all of your wins, both big and small. Think about all the times you got it right, solved the problem, and met the challenge at hand. Acknowledge that you’ve succeeded far more often than you’ve failed.

5. You don’t believe you can do anything right.

You don’t love looking in the mirror, and you often engage in negative self-talk when thinking about your body.To do:Ask yourself if this is really about what you think of your body or if it's more about what you're afraid others will think of your body. If it’s about you, ask yourself what is causing the self-hatred. Past thoughts, experiences, or negativity? Remember that your body is yours, and nobody else's.

6. You're self-conscious of your body.

You are embarrassed often and frequently want to hide yourself or fade to the background of social situations.To do:Create an image in your mind of your most empowered, positive self. Ask yourself what it’s going to take to get to that place. Take action to embrace your vulnerabilities, let go of your negative feelings, and affirm your worth. Employ all the tools available to you—from mindfulness and journaling to exercise and therapy—to help you embrace your self-worth.

7. You feel ashamed of yourself.

Your default thought is that others don’t care for you.To do:Don’t make these assumptions based on your skewed view of the world. If your default assumption is that people don’t like you, explore it. Pursue those relationships. Look at the actions of others objectively and try to understand their intentions without bias. Spend more time with people who care for you and cut ties with people who don’t.

8. You don’t believe people like you.

You choose relationships where your partner is also self-sabotaging and takes their pain out on you.To do:If you’re drawn to relationships like this, become aware of the pattern of attraction to partners who are self-sabotaging. Know that if someone can’t love themselves, they're not going to be able to love you.

9. You’re drawn to others who don’t love themselves.

Your negativity spills out to others and you treat them poorly, even though you feel bad about it later.To do:Treat yourself gently. Repeat positive affirmations to yourself. Read uplifting books and surround yourself with encouraging people. Treat yourself the way you would treat someone you care about. Exercise, eat well, and get enough sleep. Once you treat yourself with love, respect, and kindness, you’ll start treating others the same way.

10. You treat others poorly.

Here are 11 signs that insecurity is getting in the way of your life, and ideas about how to turn it into acceptance and confidence.

Love

The Mountain Is You

What if You Don't Feel Smart Enough?

11 Signs That Insecurity Is Ruining Your Life + How To Change The Pattern

It's time to

READ

LIKE

A PRO!