Perfectionism is a double-edged sword. It can motivate you to perform at a high level and deliver top-quality work as it can cause you unnecessary anxiety and slow you down. So how you can harness the positives of your perfectionism while mitigating the negatives? What practices can you adopt to keep your perfectionism in check?

How to manage your perfectionism

A lot of perfectionist tendencies are rooted in fear and insecurity

Many perfectionists worry that if they let go of their [meticulousness and conscientiousness], it will hurt their performance and standing. And so they cling to their perfectionism even when it’s counterproductive.

Psychological Causes

“Ask yourself: Am I using my time wisely? Am I being productive?” focusing on “maximizing the impact” of your work.You’re going to be “less perfect about some things, so you can concentrate on what’s important.”

1) See the big picture

Managing your perfectionism also requires you to calibrate your standards.Ask always for feedback from others on your work to see if it is good enough from their perspective and adjust your own standards.“What you’re saying doesn’t have to be the final word, it just has to contribute something useful.”

2) Adjust your standards

"The pursuit of perfection is a bit like wandering on an aimless journey, You keep walking and walking, but you’re not sure that you’re getting any closer to your destination”

Create a checklist for each task to know when it will be done independently of your satisfaction level.“You’re following a process with discrete and measurable goals,”. Once you’ve ticked off the items on your list, “you’re done.”

3) Create a checklist

Many perfectionists have <a href="https://hbr.org/2019/02/how-to-stop-obsessing-over-your-mistakes">a proclivity to ruminate</a> — repetitively mulling over a thought or problem without ever coming to a resolution. “It’s related to anxiety,”People who ruminate tend to be “less forgiving of themselves.” It’s unhealthy, and it’s unproductive.Identify your triggers. “learn to recognize when you’re ruminating,”Don't Trust your first reaction, Try hard to get perspective and give yourself time and distance before taking action.Think positive, <a href="https://hbr.org/2018/04/how-perfectionists-can-get-out-of-their-own-way">Think about the successes you’ve had</a> in the past, reminding you of meaningful outcomes you've accomplished without being 100% certain.

4) Break the cycle of rumination

Talk to someone about your tendencies, and be honest and open. Make it clear that you want to hear how you come across.  “Say, ‘I may get defensive, but I promise to think about what you say.’” And be sure to make good on that pledge.

5) Get perspective

Undertake a weekly review, in which you reflect on your progress.Try to get some psychological distance and ask yourself: “Was there anything I avoided this week due to fear of making mistakes? Were there any instances where my perfectionism was not worth it? Were there any times this week when I took action, even when I felt uncertain, and ended up moving things forward?The goal is to learn where perfectionism has a positive impact and where does not."you’re not fundamentally “changing course”; rather, you’re, “redirecting your personality.”

6) Monitor your process

<ol><li>Learn to recognize the point of diminishing returns when you’re aiming to complete a task perfectly. Sometimes just getting it done is a worthy goal.</li><li>Reflect on your progress. Identify examples of when you successfully moderated your perfectionist tendencies.</li><li>Calibrate your standards. Oftentimes what you’re writing or saying doesn’t have to be the final word, it just has to contribute something useful.</li></ol>

<ol><li>Mistake ruminating for problem-solving. When your mind is twisting and turning, seek out distractions to break the cycle.</li><li>Toil in pursuit of an amorphous goal of perfection. Create a checklist that ensures you follow a process with measurable targets.</li><li>Go it alone. Ask others — a trusted colleague, friend, or mentor — for perspective and support.</li></ol>

Don't

I've always been struggling with being less productive and less accomplished until I've discovered that I actually suffer from perfectionism. This article had helped me at that time to start thinking differently and getting things done appropriately !

Perfectionism is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can motivate you to perform at a high level and deliver top-quality work. On the other, it can cause you unnecessary anxiety and sometimes annoy your colleagues. How can you harness the positives of your perfectionism while mitigating the negatives? Start by recognizing the opportunity cost of your behavior. Sure, you can spend an additional five hours making that PowerPoint presentation perfect, but is that a productive use of your time? Will it make a material difference to your boss or client? Focus on maximizing the impact of your effort so you can concentrate on what’s important. Similarly, learn to calibrate your standards. Of course, as a perfectionist you’re never going to aim for merely adequate — nor should you. But the next time you find yourself nitpicking niggling details, ask a trusted colleague for feedback. You may discover that your first draft is already good enough.

How to Manage Your Perfectionism

Reassurance-seeking is like outsourcing emotional labor onto other people. And not only does it kill your confidence, it also tends to sabotage your relationships and lead to people becoming resentful of you.

1. You’re addicted to reassurance

Each time you second-guess yourself, it’s a tiny message to your brain that you don’t believe in yourself. So if you only do it occasionally, no big deal. But if you’re in the habit of constantly second-guessing yourself, think about what you’re teaching your brain?If you want to feel more confident, you need to make your peace with uncertainty and accept the responsibility of making decisions and living with the consequences

2. You second-guess yourself constantly

If you’re in the habit of always catastrophizing, not only will it chip away at your confidence in your ability to handle difficulties in the future — it’s also going to make you incredibly anxious and stressed out all the time.

3. You catastrophize about future danger

Just like it’s hard to feel confident if you’re always predicting that disaster is about to strike, it’s similarly hard to feel confident if you’re constantly reminding yourself of your mistakes and failings.It’s hard to feel confident about the future when you won’t let go of the past.

4. You dwell on past mistakes

The fear that keeps your confidence low doesn’t come from the thing itself, but from the feelings about it.If you want to feel more confident, start to cultivate a healthier relationship with your fear. Start acknowledging it and validating it instead of trying to avoid it.

5. You’re afraid of feeling afraid

Mental health 

5 Psychological Reasons You Don’t Feel Confident

Being motivated is great. But there’s a big difference between healthy motivation and aiming for perfection. Healthy motivation looks like self-focus, self-compassion, and having a growth mindset, while perfection is more about people-pleasing, fear, and control. Perfectionism can also be learned by growing up around perfectionist parents. Maybe you used to hear them openly criticize themselves, or second-guess their choices, or blame themselves for your missteps. If so, it’s easy to see how you could pick up those behaviours yourself.

Perfectionism and Health.

If you’re wondering if you’re a perfectionist, I’d say there’s a good chance you are. Or at least have perfectionist tendencies. I know I do. After all,

Living Life, Good.

Is Perfectionism Ruining Your Health? | Mark's Daily Apple

Psychologists define other-oriented perfectionism as people who direct their unrealistic perfect expectations outward, such as at their partner, co-workers, and children.
These perfectionists appear to view themselves as flawless and others as coming short. As a result, when people close to them fail, they may often respond with accusations: "If only you did that right, you would be more successful and happier." However, under this type of perfectionism lies insecurity and often narcissism.

Other-oriented perfectionism

Parents with other-oriented perfectionism may be frequently dissatisfied, creating a tense and controlling home life. Moreover, by holding their children to ambitious standards, they risk passing this tendency to the next generation. Children can also develop this outlook by being raised in a highly evaluative family that regularly criticised movies, food and other family members. When these parents attempt to help someone, they will yell at or humiliate others to get them to do things their way.

Traits of perfectionist parents

Studies have found that child-oriented perfectionism can lead to dissatisfaction with parenting and a burden on the role of parents. This burden may increase to such an extent that parents may feel sorry for becoming parents. However, parents can overcome this tendency by accepting their child as "good enough." Whenever they fail to regard their children unconditionally, they can acknowledge their mistakes, apologise, and do their best to repair the damage.

Overcoming child-oriented perfectionism

Mothers and fathers risk passing down this tendency to the next generation, creating a pattern of dissatisfaction.

Stashed ideas

Perfectionism Can Become a Vicious Cycle in Families

Some behavioural traits generally have a positive connotation to them, but are self-sabotaging in the long run:
<ol>
<li>Thriving Under Pressure</li>
<li>Thoroughly Exploring Your Options</li>
<li>Being In Control</li>
<li>Striving For Excellence</li>
</ol>
These traits can set us up for success initially but have a downside to them.

Positive-Sounding Traits That Are Bad In The Long Run

Being able to work under pressure once in a while is a positive trait, but if it is an addiction to trigger focus, it can give rise to procrastination.
People create artificial pressure situations to add that spark of a time crunch but waiting to start your work just before the deadline is highly unproductive.

Thriving Under Pressure

Thinking everything to death before making decisions can be counterproductive, creating self-doubt.
If you keep researching every aspect and keep gathering every information to make that mythical perfect decision, you will never reach certainty.

Thoroughly Exploring Your Options

Always staying in control can turn one into a control freak. It can also make us fearful of situations when we cannot be in control. 
One can feel unprepared in certain situations and avoid them altogether. Always wanting to be in control can also create unnecessary anxiety.

Being In Control

<ul>
<li>Trying to do something perfectly is fine but always trying to be a perfectionist is a recipe for disaster.</li>
<li>Striving for perfection is an avoidable ‘impossible standard’ that makes one self-critical.</li>
<li>Failure to reach the impossible standard lowers one's self-worth.</li>
</ul>

Striving For Excellence

<ol><li>Monitor your behaviour and acknowledge your self-sabotaging behaviour.</li><li>Take action that is the opposite of what you intend to do while self-sabotaging yourself. Handle situations differently and observe the effect it has on you.</li><li>Acknowledge your accomplishments and build your self-esteem by writing down the things that make you special, and unique.</li><li>Focus on the positive and start a daily self-affirmation mantra to recite to yourself.</li></ol>

Steps To Take If You Are Self-Sabotaging

These behaviors can set you up for success, but when taken too far, they have a real downside.


How to Manage Your Perfectionism

5 Psychological Reasons You Don’t Feel Confident

Is Perfectionism Ruining Your Health? | Mark's Daily Apple

Perfectionism Can Become a Vicious Cycle in Families

These 4 positive-sounding traits can actually sabotage your success

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