In this book, Devora Zack shared that everyone falls somewhere in between Cacti or Snowflake personality. This will effect on how we think, perceive, react even how we speak.Knowing where we are in this personality continuum, also where our peers, family and friends in this spectrum will help us to temper our response. And this will improve our relationships in life and in work.

Working With Both And Thrive Together

In general, snowflake 'feel' and cacti more rational. About 60% women towards to snowflake and 70% men to cacti, so we cannot just assume based on gender. Carl Jung's typologi also said that everyone are somewhere in between. This also may shift througout our life and no such anyone is superior 'place' to any other.

Everyone Is Either Snowflake, Cactus Or Somewhere In Between

Finding where you and others doesnt mean you need to change people, but to know how to deal with them.See below questions and pick which one you prefer:<ol><li>Your daily to-do list OR make someone else's day</li><li>For someone you'll never see again, do you care whether they like you OR you strive to have good image</li><li>Work with direct people OR connected people</li><li>Direct OR diplomatic</li><li>Intellect and skill OR emphaty</li><li>Lead with head OR heart</li><li>Teams following procedure or teams that feel safe and value effectiveness</li><li>Leader is ability or caring</li><li>Contribute directly or by dealing with people10.</li></ol>

Find Where You And Others Are

10. Under pressure, attention and firmness OR caring and comsoderation?11. Reason OR compassion12. Share a bad news plainly OR trying to lighten the impact13. Analytical OR appreciative14. Decide based on logic and fairness OR kindness and feeling15. Value more plain truth and objectivity OR peace and belonging Count how many questions you pick on first option, more first options means more cactus you are. You rely on head,logic and fairness.More number of second options means you fall more toward snowflake. You value peace, emphaty and relationship.Or you are in between, the bridge-builder.

Take perspective of others to find the balance. Cacti might see snowflakes as illogical, but snowflakes see cacti as lack of care.Treat people not only as you would have them treat you but also as they would like to be treated. Say a simple hello and have a small talk will make a snowflake smiles and feel respected, while direct conversation works better with cacti.Knowing well how to treat people based on their personality will differentiate you from others who dont know how to do so.

Dont Stereotype, Have Consious Bias And Never Demeaning Others

Focus your attention on fine-tuning yourself rather than futilely attempting to fix others. Same experience may be perceived differently by snowflake and cacti.A group exchange in high energy can be perceived as spirited discussion by cacti but also as a potential conflict by snowflakes.

Same Event, Different Perspective

Control your thinking, what you say and what you do. If you tend to snowflake, trust your feeling. If you are cacti, leverage your logic. If you are a leader, surround your self with intermix of type. Build a team with a bit balance in number of snowflake and cacti.

Self Improve For Better Interactions

Cater your language, use both personality in the right moment. I.e. in meeting, cacti style sometimes is more needed. However, in delivering performance review, snowflake style is needed.

Watch How You Speak

The shadow facet of our personality isn the hidden part of ourselves woth which we dont consiously identify. Awareness of yourself and others allow for interventions that might prevent a shadow state from dominating. In these critical condition, acknowledge people's feelings, ask how you can help and work on coping strategies with them.

Know Your Trigger

Knowing where we are, and strive side by sise

This hilarious and profound workplace guide proves the rigorously rational and the supremely sympathetic can meet in the middle and merge their strengths. Readers will discover how blending with their opposite opens the pathway to being their truest selves. The famed Myers-Briggs personality scale says that Feelers (who lead with their hearts) put more weight on personal concerns and the people involved, and Thinkers (who lead with their heads) are guided by objective principles and impartial facts. This book calls them Cacti and Snowflakes—each singularly transcendent. But can people with such fundamentally different ways of making sense of and engaging with the world work together? Yes, says Devora Zack! The key is not to try to change each other. Zack says we can directly control only three things: what we say, what we think, and what we do. The best use of our energy is to focus on our own reactions and perceptions rather than try to “fix” other people. This book includes an assessment so readers can learn where they are on the Thinker/Feeler spectrum—and because it's a spectrum, readers might well be a snowcactus or a cactusflake. Then Zack helps them figure out where other people might be, guiding them through a myriad of modes of communication and motivation based on personality type. She includes real-life scenarios that show how to nurture one's nature while successfully connecting with those on the other side. As always, Zack fearlessly and entertainingly dispels myths, squashes stereotypes, and transforms perceived liabilities into strengths. And she once again affirms that, like chocolate and peanut butter, we are better together.

The Cactus and Snowflake at Work

Do boys wants to be loved? What normal people (Most of the people) answers is "Yes! Of course, they are living beings also. Even boys receive more love than Girls". But it is not that true all the times. You can easily observe people saying that boys are tough. They are bold. They do not want love. All they need is Bravery, Strength...all that. Ask yourself, is that true? It was true when a king wants his son to be next heir.  Not today.How will you define a BAD_BOY? A boy who is rude, insults other, don't respect girls...all that. But deep down this boys is BAD because he was not much loved.

What are love issues with boys?

In his childhood, boys don't care about anything. All he want is someone/something to play with. soon after, he can realize that his mother and father will love him and take care of him. But problem starts, when is starts to understand things. For example, if his father brought her daughter a new dress and don't asked for him, he will get upset and starts hating(more specific, dislike) both his father and sister. And it is obvious. It this happens to him for more time, he will think that he is bad or his father don't love him. From here real changes begins that lead him to choose wrong path.

Let's Start from Beginning

You can see some boys are cool and funny around. And some other boys are very rude and Stone-hearted. Why this? Because they are not that much loved. And thus, they accept the way that love has nothing to do. Then in order to fulfil their desire, they starts to involve in wrong doings. This is where a boy forces a girl to satisfy his desire. You know what I'm talking about. And I accept that this is not right. What I want to tell all boys is that they should not do this kind of shameful activity. This will leave a bad spot on manhood. Understand that in ancient times, men were Gentleman.

Why some boys are bad?

When a girl fell in love, she loves it to the core. Same is for boys. I accept that some boys are not open in expressing their love. Some boys are rude toward their girl. And some boys are Z+ bodyguard of their girls. Difference is common cause of nature. You can't avoid it. But what you can control is your love for them. A girl want love and affection from boy and vice-versa. Variation can be seen when a boy approaches a girl. Some are 'Once in a life', other are 'Do as more as you can'. Both have same background. Less loved more bad times. That's why, boy tries to approach by doing shits.

Boy and Girl relationship.

He will either try to become an alpha male or do some non-sense things to get the girl. But his intentions are not bad. He want love from that girl. If she rejects him, then he will start to bother her. Why he is doing this? Read the next idea.

continue...

After marriage(or before) some men tries to suppress their wives either mentally or physically. Why? Because the are not taught how to respect women. It is very Important for man to understand that HE SHOULD RESPECT WOMAN. And this is the responsibility of a father to teach his son. All that boys who suppress their girls are either overprotective or are not taught to respect girls.What to do? Ask their friends/parent/elders to teach them the same. Or do whatever it takes to make them understand that it is sinful activity to disrespect someone.

Why some man tries to Suppress her Wife.

A father is role model for a boy. Because his father has reputation in society and so his boy want. Some fathers are open and express their love, while some are not that open and their boy think that he do not love him. According to a Study, Girls receive more love from father than boy. And this lead to change in behavior of a boy. This boy now feel separated from his father. He starts disrespect his father and ends up with fight. On the other hand,  a father is strict toward his boy because he want him to be in control.What you need to understand is that your boy also wants your attention.

Father - Son relationship.

In India, I live is a society where a boy don't exist if he is not employed. And in a middle class family, boy has much responsibilities to do. You can relate this if you're also a middle class boy. Your parents expects a lot from you. Also your parents are busy in earning a livelihood. Thus they can't spare enough time for you. And you think that you are not loved.What you have to understand that all you have to focus on your academics. Don't focus on any other thing. Your parents loves you more that you think. Make them feel proud to be your parent. Get a job, then see the changes.

A middle Class Boy.

A boy need to understand this world works in a balance. You respect girls, girls will respect you. You love your parent(no matter how hard they are on you), your parent will love you. Love and respect are meant to be earned not purchased. As a boy your responsibility is to be strong enough to gain some reputation in society. I will not write about responsibilities of a boy. You know that stuff. What I want to focus is that no matter how bad people treat you, you must be polite and soft towards other. That will make you GENTLEMEN.

A boy

1. You have to be a son, not a man in front of your parent.2. Your girl is your second half. Respect her, take care of her, don't bother her.3. Rejection is okay. Learn to bear it. Don't bother if she rejected you. Different person have different views for other. Accept it and move on.4. Achieve something in your life. Don't waste your life watching porn or other wrong things.5. Learn to hide you anger. This can save you from many bad situations.6. No matter how physical fir you are. If can't take care of your family, it is useless.7. Be a GENTLEMAN. This is upto you, how you achieve this.

Understand These Things.

In this stash I would like to talk about love issues faced by a boy in society. My intentions are not bad. I'm not comparing boys with girls. At some point you may feel like comparison but it is not. And I accept that for parent both boy and girl are equal. In this stash I am talking about why some boys are rude and are not that accepted. I beg your pardon if any of my view has hurted your feeling.

Love Issues with Boys!!

The number one way to get a good conversation with no lulls or cringe moments is to set an intention on why you are speaking with the person

#1 Set Intention 

Start the conversation on the right foot you can do that by walking up to them with an open body language show you want to communicate with them and you are excited. Your smile is your opening line

Start The Conversation On The Right Foot 

The first words when entering a conversation should be hey how are you. Something simple and easy to bounce off of

First Words When Entering A Conversation  

Look for the sparks in your conversation the topics that make them go Oh! And raise there eyebrows

Look For Conversation Sparks 

<ol><li>Mention a bridge a future time for example: “Hey what are you doing this weekend” would be an excellent example</li><li>then say we’ll it was great speaking with you good luck on that whatever it was</li></ol>

To End A Conversation 

Communication is very important in your career and your success 

You can make dazzling conversation with anyone, and I am going to tell you how! Using a few conversation tricks and nonverbal tips, you'll be able to add to your communication repertoire and have wonderful conversations as well as memorable first impressions. There's a science behind having a good conversation and these are great first steps to amazing conversation, but if you need help with conversation starter topics visit: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/conversation-starters-topics/ Those are sure to spark interesting, deep, and unforgettable conversation with anyone you interact with! 😊 In this video: 00:00 Intro to the Science of Conversation 00:51 Tip #1 - Intention 01:43 Tip #2 - Approach 02:38 Tip #3 - Openers 03:32 Tip #4 - Sparks 04:49 Tip #5 - Exits 05:43 Bonus Tip - How to let people know you're open to connect? ****** Hi, I’m Vanessa! You deserve more. More influence, more income, more of what you want. I would be honored to help you. My name is Vanessa Van Edwards and I’m a recovering awkward person. I’m also the bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People (https://www.scienceofpeople.com/captivate/) and creator of People School(https://www.scienceofpeople.com/people-school/). My goal is simple: Help YOU get to your goals faster. Never be overlooked, interrupted or forgotten again. Do you want to be the most likable person in the room? Get my FREE guide now: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/ ****** PS - Join the conversation on social! ☞ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vvanedwards/ ☞ Twitter: https://twitter.com/vvanedwards ☞ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vvanedwards/ #vanessavanedwards #howtotalktopeople #startaconversation #howtotalktoanyone #howtobememorable #howtohaveconversations #icebreakers

Communication 

How to Talk to Anyone with Ease and Confidence

1. Enhancing love maps2. Nurturing fondness and admiration3. Turning toward each other4. Accepting influence5. Solving solvable problems6. Overcoming gridlock7. Creating shared meaning

Short Summary 

<ul><li>This means deeply knowing each other. It can include knowing his or her challenges, dreams, friends, beliefs, favorites of all kinds, and childhood experiences.</li><li>The more you know your love partner the more intimacy happens, and hence it is called as love map of your partner, here you need to know your partner very well.</li></ul>

Principle One – Enhance Your Love Map

<ul><li>Means expressing appreciation, acknowledgment, pride, care, admiration, and adoration.</li><li>Mutual affection and respect are essential for a lasting and fulfilling romance.</li></ul>Fondness and admiration prevents<ul><li>Criticism</li><li>Contempt</li><li>Defensiveness</li><li>Stonewalling</li></ul>

Principle Two – Nurturing Fondness and Admiration

<ul><li>Doing small things daily for your partner will help to keep your relationship long lasting .</li><li>To show your love , listen to your partner, listen to what they always want to say and share, instead of saying you’ll listen later or don’t have time, sit with them and listen what they really what to share, you can show your romance by showing them your love and care on a daily basis, it’s not necessary to do big things always but small things daily creates more impact.</li></ul>

Principle Three – Turn Toward Each Other 

Means that happy couples are a team, that always considers each other point of view, perspective and feelings, happy couple are those who always make decision together, they respect each other point of view and comes to a common ground, Let your partner influence you means to honor and respect each other and this understanding will help you to make a successful and happy relationship.

Principle Four – Let Your Partner Influence You

For resolving conflicts,<ul><li>Soften your startup: This means you need to start your conversation without getting too harsh.</li><li>Learn to make and receive Repair Attempts: Learn any action or statement which helps to repair or decrease the tension of that argument.</li><li>Soothe yourself and each other: When you are getting irritated on argument take few minutes break, calm yourself your brain, close your eyes and relax your mind and body, ones you feel relaxed calm and peaceful then try to make your partner feel good and do something which comforts both of you.</li><li>Compromise: Negotiation is nice.</li></ul>

Principle Five – Solve Your Solvable Problems

The author says when Dreams are respected, Couples feel happy in their relationship, And also realizes that marriage is supposed to support each other for their dreams not to manipulate the other one to not to achieve their goals, marriage is about supporting and understanding each other goals and dreams.

Principle Six – Overcome Gridlock

Marriage is not only about raising children’s, splitting chores or making love but it also has a spiritual Dimension that has to do with creating inner life togetherness – A culture rich with Rituals, and the appreciation for your roles and goals that links you, that will make you understand that what it means to be a part of the family you have become.

Principle Seven – Create Shared Meaning

<ul><li>Parting: Author says before saying bye for office you need to find out one thing which is happening in the partner’s life that day.</li><li>Reunions: Here you need to have stress-reducing conversation daily at the end of the day.</li><li>Admiration and appreciation: need to find out a reason every day to show your affection and appreciation towards your spouse.</li><li>Affection: Kiss, hold hands, hug when you both are together.</li><li>Weekly date: This could be a relaxing low-pressure way to stay connected. Go out for a date, stay connected talk about each other problems etc.</li></ul>

5 Magic Hours Activities 

“Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship. By this I mean a mutual respect for the enjoyment of each other’s company”

The revolutionary guide to show couples how to create an emotionally intelligent relationship - and keep it on track Straightforward in its approach, yet profound in its effect, the principles outlined in this book teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman has scientifically analysed the habits of married couples and established a method of correcting the behaviour that puts thousands of marriages on the rocks. He helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr Gottman's workshops, this is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work

SMILE is the easiest way to make Great First Impression."I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you."So 😊😊☺️ SMILE ☺️😊😊

Your SMILE is a messenger of your goodwill. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scoul or turn their faces away, YOUR SMILE is like Sun breaking through the clouds. So 😊😊☺️ SMILE ☺️😊😊

Your Smile

The idea is public relation centric and aim to 😊. So ☺️

An adaptation of Dale Carnegie’s timeless prescriptions for the digital age. Dale Carnegie’s time-tested advice has carried millions upon millions of readers for more than seventy-five years up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives. Now the first and best book of its kind has been rebooted to tame the complexities of modern times and will teach you how to communicate with diplomacy and tact, capitalize on a solid network, make people like you, project your message widely and clearly, be a more effective leader, increase your ability to get things done, and optimize the power of digital tools. Dale Carnegie’s commonsense approach to communicating has endured for a century, touching millions and millions of readers. The only diploma that hangs in Warren Buffett’s office is his certificate from Dale Carnegie Training. Lee Iacocca credits Carnegie for giving him the courage to speak in public. Dilbert creator Scott Adams called Carnegie’s teachings “life-changing.” To demonstrate the lasting relevancy of his tools, Dale Carnegie & Associates, Inc., has reimagined his prescriptions and his advice for our difficult digital age. We may communicate today with different tools and with greater speed, but Carnegie’s advice on how to communicate, lead, and work efficiently remains priceless across the ages.

Bite-sized knowledge
to upgrade
your career

#relationship

TOP STASHERS

IDEAS ABOUT #relationship

The Cactus and Snowflake at Work

Love Issues with Boys!!

It's time to

READ

LIKE

A PRO!

How to Talk to Anyone with Ease and Confidence

The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work

How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age

Bite-sized knowledgeto upgradeyour career

#relationship

TOP STASHERS

IDEAS ABOUT #relationship

The Cactus and Snowflake at Work

Love Issues with Boys!!

It's time to

READ

LIKE

A PRO!

How to Talk to Anyone with Ease and Confidence

The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work

How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age

Bite-sized knowledge
to upgrade
your career