Based on Radical Candor, you have to start by caring personally:<ul><li>You need to know someone on a personal level, know their dreams, fears, and struggles, as well as what matters to them in life.</li></ul>Knowing what drives a person and their goals give you what you need to address them in a way that will strike a chord. Whatever you’re about to share needs to resonate and align with their personal core values.

Start with caring personally

Easier said than done, but once you do it, you’ll never go back to being a word-mincing mush mouth again.<ul><li>It’s truth time. And it’s starting to feel good.</li><li>There are plenty of reasons to put off the hard talk or telling someone you care about that it’s time to face the music.</li></ul>When you reframe what you’re doing as giving someone the benefit of knowing the truth, rather than calling someone out, it might take the sting out for both parties.

Tell people what they need to hear, not what they want to hear.

None of this candor stuff works unless you’re telling the truth. That’s job one. Since the truth can be a bitter pill, we tend to embellish it a little bit, and before you know it, it bears little resemblance to the actual truth.<ul><li>That doesn’t mean that you should zing your words with a poisonous arrow, but rather, make sure they are factual, don’t exaggerate to make a point and be kind about it.</li><li>Being honest when you’re sharing will be appreciated. Sometimes it may take a bit of time, but in the long run, your friend or colleague will see it as the caring act that it was intended to be.</li></ul>

Tell the truth

Compliment sandwiches don’t really work because everyone knows what’s coming after the first bit of praise. However, there is something to be said for finding the good and highlighting it.<ul><li>Compliment, hammer, then reframe the compliment. Ugh.</li><li>It’s important to note is that there is always something good you can point out, even if it’s just the effort or intent. Just because something doesn’t work out or was a flop doesn’t mean everything about it was a fail.</li><li>Find the good and recognize it.</li></ul>

Point out the good

<ol><li>What’s the reason for dropping this truth bomb? Is it to address their career growth, their health, their relationship? You need to be crystal clear & make sure it is at the heart of the conversation.</li><li>Why does it matter to them & why does it matter to you? If you’re telling a hard truth because you’re giving insight that will help them advance in their career, that’s a great reason for them. </li><li>You should also address why it matters to you: In this case, the reason for your candor on your part may be that you’ve set a personal goal to be better at developing others instead of throwing in the tow<warningtag>el</warningtag></li></ol>

Clarify why

The bottom line is that once you begin the practice of being radically candid, it will become your new way to operate. That’s likely to be your nerves at play, so just hang in there and you’ll improve.The more you follow this practice, the more you build that muscle for yourself, but you may also be inspiring others to do the same so they can also become great, candid, communicators.Keep this in mind:<ul><li>It makes sense to address things directly and clearly.</li><li>It’s helpful and honest.</li><li>It’s the right thing to do.</li></ul>

Rinse and repeat (pay it forward)

No one likes to have the hard talk.
If you handle it right, it will make you the best leader in a company, and the best friend anyone could have.

If you handle it right, it will make you the best leader in a company, and the best friend anyone could have. Easier said than done, but once you do it, you’ll never go back to being a word-mincing…

Change your mind

The Best Way to Handle a Difficult Conversation At Work

Constructive criticism is a criticizing which is characterizing that person who is criticizing is explaining and also suggesting at the same time how to resolve the thing that is charged.

Constructive Criticism- What Is It? 

Constructive criticism assumes that the person giving it has chosen to talk about it because it wants to help the other in reaching the good or help to progress, as it is more experienced and would like to show the mistakes of the less experienced person to avoid repetition of those mistakes to happen again.

What does constructive criticism look like?

* Keep calm* Try to understand the criticism* Be open to new ideas* Remember that assertiveness is the key

How to accept criticism?

Constructive criticism assumes that the person giving it has chosen to talk about it because it wants to help the other in reaching the good or help to progress.

We can't learn or improve without feedback. Discover why constructive criticism has a positive effect on your job performance and how to give and receive it.

Constructive Criticism: What it is and How to Take it 

Earlier this week, I had a feedback experience that shook me up a bit. I was halfway through my course preparation task for my boss’ <a href="http://buzzedison.co/">business coaching </a>brand when I decided to get feedback on what I had done. To be honest, I was really proud of what I had done so far and I was convinced my boss was going to like it too. Sike! I was wrong.My boss took one good look at the work and said it wasn’t good enough and that I had veered off the task. I was heartbroken, to say the least. The time I had invested, the research I thought I had done so well, all gone down the drain.

Experience Is The Best Teacher They Say

I refused to accept it. I tried to defend my work, tried to get him to see some good in what I was presenting. But he knew what he wanted in that course and I was nowhere near what was required.Eventually, I gave up my defending and listened to his corrections and suggestions. Honestly, at that moment, I lost hope for the task and started taking his feedback with a pinch of salt.

Later in the day (after I had taken a much-needed power nap to calm my boiling nerves) I sat down to analyze the feedback my boss had given me and realized he was right after all. I had veered off the work and I would have wasted more time on it if I hadn’t asked for his candid feedback. I started the task all over again, this time with a clearer mind, and when I went back for his feedback a second time, he found the work satisfactory.

The After Nap Realisation

As human beings, we never like to be in the wrong. We are more receptive to positive feedback and praise. In the world of work, however, things are not always dandy.In order to do work that matters and get results, you need to be good at accepting and giving feedback to and from your teammates, your managers, and even yourself.

We All Need To Suck It Up Sometimes

Yes, feedback is sometimes a form of criticism, but the goal is different from actual criticism.Criticism just highlights how someone or something is at fault, without giving ways it can be made better. Feedback is meant to do the exact opposite. While criticism focuses on weaknesses, feedback is meant to build strengths. Criticism deflates morale, feedback inspires. While criticism points to you as the problem, feedback finds ways to make things better.

Let’s get this clear: Feedback and criticism Are Different

I read a quote in an article on Medium that said “The value of feedback is measured at the other person’s ear, not at your mouth”. This just means that you should always be mindful of how you frame your feedback because it is meant for the receiving party, not you. And if the understanding of your feedback is muddled, it will defeat its purpose.

Giving Feedback

To give feedback that matters, you can apply the Radical Candor framework by Kim Scott. According to this framework, good feedback needs to be “care personally” but “challenge directly”. It needs to take a person’s feelings into consideration, but be straight to the point and incite the needed change. He calls this radical candor. By doing this, you can get the message across without hurting feelings or making people feel incapable.

The Radical Candor Framework

<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Don’t act nice, be kind</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Give relevant feedback before jumping into solving the problem</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Do not use the “sandwich” feedback method</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Make your feedback concrete</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Never make it about being right or wrong</li></ol>

How To Give Feedback Like A Pro

After you’ve given feedback, keep giving it and reinforcing it. Do not believe that just because you’ve told someone once that your task is complete. Your responsibility is to make sure the other party hears and understands the feedback. You must reinforce your comments and acknowledge any adjustments they make as a result of your feedback.

Being on the receiving end is twice as uncomfortable as being the giver. As I stated earlier, no one likes being told they are wrong about something. However, you need to come to terms with the fact that no one is perfect and learning is a never-ending process.Receiving feedback is just as important as giving it, if not more. It helps you to improve and get better at what you do if you are able to accept corrections and act on them.

Receiving Feedback 

<ol><li>Acknowledge the good elements</li><li>Pay attention to recurring feedback and work on correcting them</li><li>Ask questions and seek clarity</li><li>Don’t forget to say thank you</li><li>Always follow up </li></ol>

How To Receive Feedback Like A Pro

Always remember that feedback is there to correct and improve, not to highlight mistakes. Be graceful about how you give and receive feedback and remember to apply what you receive as early as possible and follow up as often as you can, Always remember that offering feedback sometimes says something about the one taking it, but it always says something about the person giving it. First, take a look at yourself, and then give criticism.

Wrapping Up

This article is based on my most recent feedback experience and what I learnt from it!

Giving and receiving constructive feedback in any situation can be an uncomfortable experience, depending on how intense the feedback is.

“Suck It Up”: A Guide To Giving And Receiving Feedback Like A Pro

<ol><li>Listen to others actively.</li><li>Affirm people's opinions.</li><li>Empathize with different perspectives. You might not understand it, but you can respect it.</li><li>Disagree respectfully. Don’t insult any opinions or ideas if you disagree with them.</li><li>Apologize when you're in the wrong. It shows a great deal of maturity and respect.</li><li>Call out disrespectful behaviour. Let the people around you know that you won’t tolerate it.</li><li>Show gratitude.</li><li>Compliment the achievements of others.</li><li>Be reliable. Do what you say you'll do.</li><li>Offer support to friends in need.</li><li>Take care of yourself.</li><li>Avoid self-destructive behaviors.</li></ol>

Showing other people respect in your daily life is a great way to tell others that you care about them. Whether you're talking to your best friend or a stranger on the street, respecting them as a person shows that you're kind and...

How to Show Respect

Making peace and moving forward is often easier said than done. Being able to forgive yourself requires empathy, compassion, kindness, and understanding. It also requires you to accept that forgiveness is a choice. Here are 12 tips you can try the next time you want to forgive yourself.

_Forgive yourself_

One of the first steps in learning how to forgive yourself is to focus on your emotions. Before you can move forward, you need to acknowledge your emotions. Give yourself permission to recognize and accept the feelings that have been triggered in you and welcome them.

1. Focus on your emotions.

If you make a mistake and continue to struggle with letting it go, acknowledge out loud what you learned from the mistake.When you give a voice to the thoughts in your head and the emotions in your heart, you may free yourself from some of the burdens. You also imprint in your mind what you learned from your actions and consequences.

2. Acknowledge the mistake.

Englander says to think of each “mistake” as a learning experience that holds the key to moving forward faster and more consistently in the future. Reminding ourselves that we did the best we could with the tools and knowledge we had at the time, will help us forgive ourselves and move forward.

3. Think of each mistake as a learning experience.

If you make a mistake but have a hard time putting it out of your mind, Pickell says to visualize your thoughts and feelings about the mistake going into a container, such as a mason jar or box. Then, tell yourself you are putting this aside for now and will return to it if and when it will benefit you.

4. Give yourself permission to put this process on hold.

Journaling can help you understand your inner critic and develop self-compassion. Write out a “conversation” between you and your inner critic. This can help you identify your thoughts and will help you forgive yourselfYou can also use journaling time to make a list of the qualities you like about yourself, including your strengths and skills. This can help boost your self-confidence when you’re feeling down about a mistake you made.

5. Have a conversation with your inner critic.

We are our own worst critics, right? One important action tip is to notice when that harsh voice comes in and then write it down. You might be surprised by what your inner critic actually says to you.

6. Notice when you are being self-critical.

Sometimes it can be difficult to recognize the thoughts that are getting in the way of forgiveness. If you’re struggling to sort out your inner critic, practice this exercise:<ul><li>On one side of a piece of paper, write down what your inner critic says (which tends to be critical and irrational).</li><li>On the other side of the paper, write a self-compassionate and rational response for each thing you wrote on the other side of the paper.</li></ul>

7. Quiet the negative messages of you inner critic.

If the mistake you made hurt another person, you need to determine the best course of action. Do you want to talk to this person and apologize? If you’re on the fence about what to do, you might want to consider making amends. This goes beyond saying sorry to a person you’ve hurt. Instead, try to fix the mistake you’ve made. One study found that forgiving ourselves for hurting another is easier if we first make amends.

8. Get clear about what you want.

Oftentimes, it’s easier to tell someone else what to do than to take our own advask yourself what you would tell your best friend if they were sharing this mistake they made with you, and then take your own advice.If you’re having a difficult time working through this in your head, it can help to role-play with your friend. Ask them to take on your mistake. They will tell you what happened and how they are struggling to forgive themselves.You get to be the advice giver and practice telling your friend how to move on.

9. Take your own advice.

It’s human nature to spend time and energy replaying our mistakes. While some processing is important, going over what happened again and again won’t allow you to forgive yourself. When you catch yourself playing the “I’m a horrible person” tape, stop yourself and focus on one positive action step. Interrupting the thought pattern can help you move away from the negative experience and reduce stress and anxiety.

10. Quit playing the tape.

If your first response to a negative situation is to criticize yourself, it’s time to show yourself some kindness and compassion. The only way to begin the journey to forgiveness is to be kind and compassionate with yourself. This takes time, patience, and a reminder to yourself that you’re worthy of forgiveness.

11. Show kindness and compassion.

If you’re struggling to forgive yourself, you may benefit from talking to a professional. Talking to a counselor who can help you learn how to break these unhealthy patterns in your life and learn new and healthier ways of coping with mistakes.

12. Seek professional help.

Making peace and moving forward is often easier said than done. Being able to forgive yourself requires empathy, kindness, and understanding. Whether you’re trying to work through a minor mistake or one that impacts all areas of your life, the steps you need to take in order to forgive yourself will look the same.

The Best Way to Handle a Difficult Conversation At Work

Constructive Criticism: What it is and How to Take it

“Suck It Up”: A Guide To Giving And Receiving Feedback Like A Pro

How to Show Respect

12 Tips for Forgiving Yourself

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