Good feedback is necessary to grow one in a career. But too many of us receive unhelpful and meaningless advice.
Bad feedback falls into two categories, namely empty praise and vague criticism. People need specific feedback so that they know what they should continue doing because it&#39;s working, or what they should adjust because it&#39;s not working.

Unhelpful feedback

<ul><li>"Great job" is not helpful, because it is not tied to a specific outcome. A person needs to know how their great job had an impact. Managers should give a specific example of what the person did well.</li><li>"I don't like that." Good criticism will let them know what specifically went wrong and how they can improve.</li><li>"You need to work on your attitude." Feedback focused on the person or the person's personality, and not the work, is problematic.</li></ul>

Meaningless criticism

How the message is delivered is essential as not everyone likes to hear it the same way. Managers should be sensitive to where they do it. For example, you may feel it's wonderful to recognise a person publicly, but they may hate it because they feel embarrassed. It's also a mistake to publicly criticise a group when the message is intended for one person.

Feedback can be right, but still be wrong

These three phrases should be banned from performance reviews forever.

Stashed ideas

The Worst, Most Meaningless Feedback People Get At Work

We feel hurt and attacked by most criticism that we recieve, and in some cases it is true that the criticism comes from a place of hatred and negativity rather than from positivity and well-wishes.But sometimes we feel hurt by even the positive criticism that wasn’t meant to be negative, instead it was meant to be taken positively and for our own growth.It’s important to keep in mind that while taking criticism, try to keep an open mind and keeping your emotions out. Do not react to it or take it personally, instead take a deep breath and look at it from the other side.

Taking Criticism The Right Way

Criticism – it’s something we all hear, some people even hear it on a daily basis. Friends, teachers, parents, co-workers, siblings and sometimes- even strangers criticise us for almost everything we do whether good or bad, big or small. As we all may (or may not) know, criticism is important for us! To grow and be better at what we do and even to be better people, we need outside criticism to guide us.But most of the time, we tend to take criticism in the negative way.

 Criticism

Constructive criticism is the way to know our weaknesses and improve by working on them. But if we get defensive and try to prove the critique wrong, it won’t help us truly understand the message being delivered and won’t let us improve. We shouldn’t be afraid of criticism or be hurt by it, rather, we should use it as fuel to do better and learn from them

Constructive Criticism

Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.

As humans, we react to different criticism in different ways. The way we react to each critique will determine how it will affect us and our work. If you pay too much attention to negative, hurtful and bashing criticism, then you’ll just end up hurting yourself and your confidence.On the other hand, if you dismiss every single piece of advice and criticism that you recieve, you won’t grow.If you pay attention to criticism without letting your emotions get in the way, you can properly understand the criticism. You can then analyse it and take what is useful for you and can help you grow.

Negative Criticism

You have to take criticism with a grain of salt because you’re never going to please everybody.

It’s important to know where you take criticism from. Know that you cannot please everybody, which also means that you do not have to pay attention to everybody’s opinion of you or your work. Be mindful of the people that criticise you and before paying attention to them or letting their words get to you, ask yourself, does this person know what you’re going through? Have they been in the same field of work/the same situation? Does this person genuinely want you to grow and become better or are the words coming from a place of hatered and/or negativity?

Taking Criticism From The Right Place

Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.

Criticism is something all of us have to deal with. Some of us grow from it and some find it difficult to listen to. Here are some things you should know before taking criticism.

Self care

TAKING CRITICISM

Taking criticism can be a hard thing. At some point, you will find someone who wants to tell you how to do things better.
But feedback can also be a good thing as you can use the criticism to give you a competitive edge.

Criticism as a competitive edge

Communication

Criticism means someone wants to tell you what you&#39;re doing for them. It is an opportunity to learn more about the person and change them into satisfied customers or audience members.
Take some time before you respond. Someone who can take and act on criticism means they can work towards a better outcome.

Criticism is a form of communication

Listening and acting on honest feedback will give you insight into what&#39;s good and what can improve.
Make use of that information to improve your performance, service, or event.

Feedback makes your product better

Constructive criticism can steer you from bad practices towards better ones.
Try to distance yourself from what you&#39;re providing and look at it objectively. If you can take a step back, you might see how you can improve.

Feedback forces you towards good practices

If a customer tells only you how to give them a great service, that&#39;s information that only you&#39;ve got.
That puts you at an advantage over others in your sector. Find ways to draw that information from your clients or audiences.

Criticism can give you an advantage

How you respond to criticism is vital. Try to avoid getting into an argument. Instead, lead the exchange into a discussion on how to solve the issue. You&#39;ll waste less time guessing how to fix things. &quot;So, you&#39;d like to change the design - what would you say is the main thing that ought to be different?&quot;
Turn your words into action to demonstrate that you can listen to feedback.

How to respond to criticism

If someone doesn&#39;t like your work, don&#39;t take offence. Even if you feel the criticism is unfair, don&#39;t react negatively as you can irreparably damage your reputation.
A good professional can take criticism and not respond as if it&#39;s an attack. At the very least, they can leave with their reputation intact.

Don't take it personally

Creative Boom: criticism can be a good thing and arts organisations should use it to improve what they offer

Six reasons why criticism is a good thing

Here are a few ways to buy yourself more time to assess the situation.
<ul>
<li>&quot;I need a minute to regroup. Can we talk about this in an hour?&quot;</li>
<li>&quot;Can we chat about this later today, after I&#39;ve had some time to consider it?&quot;</li>
<li>To a friend who wants you to go to a dinner that sounds boring: &quot;I&#39;m going to say no to dinner, but I&#39;d love to catch up another time.&quot;</li>
<li>To the colleague who wants you to help with an extra project: &quot;I can&#39;t, unfortunately. But once I finish up my current deadline, I can see if there&#39;s a way I can support you.&quot;</li>
</ul>

When someone asks you something you're unsure about

You don&#39;t owe anyone personal information, especially not to satisfy their curiosity.
<ul>
<li>To someone asking how much money you earn: &quot; Trust me, not even close to what I&#39;m worth.&quot;</li>
<li>To someone who asks about your love life: &quot;I&#39;d rather not talk about this. When I have news to share, I&#39;ll let you know.&quot;</li>
<li>To a colleague who wants to know what you plan on your day off: &quot;That&#39;s why call it a personal day!&quot;</li>
</ul>
Repeat your stock answer if the person persists.

What to say to deflect nosy questions

<ul>
<li>If you want to share something with a friend or colleague who likes to offer their opinion, say: &quot;I want to share what&#39;s going on and would appreciate it if you can listen without offering advice or criticism.&quot;</li>
<li>Another way to stop auto-advice: &quot;At the moment, I&#39;m not looking for feedback. I would love it if you could just listen with compassion.&quot;</li>
<li>In relationships: &quot;I love that you are always willing to help me. But right now, I appreciate it if you list and have faith that I&#39;ll come to a solution by myself.&quot;</li>
</ul>

When someone is giving you unsolicited advice

When a friend, family member or colleague makes a rude comment and then says,&quot; I&#39;m just honest,&quot; you may feel inclined to accept their words. Don&#39;t. If you know them to be genuine, you will know when to be open to their feedback.
Comments about how you wore the wrong dress or how bad your hair looks, say something like:
<ul>
<li>&quot;I don&#39;t recall asking you.&quot;</li>
<li>&quot;What you call &#39;honesty,&#39; I call &#39;giving me unsolicited criticism.&#39; Please don&#39;t.&quot;</li>
</ul>

When someone is judgmental or critical of you

When someone has crossed a line, you should open up the conversation alerting the other person to your feelings, concerns, or objections.
Some conversation starters:
<ul>
<li>&quot;I thought you should know...&quot;</li>
<li>&quot;I wanted to bring something to your attention. I felt uncomfortable when..&quot;</li>
<li>&quot;I want you to be aware of my feelings about what happened...&quot;</li>
</ul>

When a line has been crossed

Setting boundaries is not a one-time act; it's a process. Here are some tools and scripts that will help you create a foundation to build on, from psychotherapist Terri Cole.

5 scripts to help you deflect nosy questions, stop advice-givers, fend off criticism and more

<ul><li>Strong emotions on both sides;</li><li>A focus on character rather than on behavior;</li><li>A lack of clarity about what needs to change and why;</li><li>Negative or critical feedback threatens not only our self-esteem but also our basic need for safety and security;</li></ul>

Why Feedback Goes Wrong

Leadership

Wrong reasons:<ul><li>defend/excuse your own behavior;</li><li>to demoralize/condemn;</li><li>you're in a bad mood;</li><li>to appease a third party;</li></ul>to make yourself seem superior/powerfulRight reasons:<ul><li>commitment/concern for another;</li><li>sense of responsibility;</li><li>to guide/mentor;</li><li>to support/enhance.</li></ul>

Right vs. Wrong reasons to give feedback

<ul><li>Specific, Timely, Meaningful, and Candid;</li><li>Goal-oriented;</li><li>Focused on the future;</li><li>Focused on the process, not the person;</li><li>Isn't afraid to be negative;</li><li>Can be positive;</li><li>Doesn't assume it's right.</li></ul>

Effective Feedback is...

"Effective feedback requires that a person has a goal, takes action to achieve the goal, and receives goal-related information about his or her actions."

Quote

"Information becomes feedback if, and only if, I am trying to cause something and the information tells me whether I am on track or need to change course."

A simple template for giving effective feedback that ensures you’re hitting all the right points, that goes like this:<ol><li>Ask to give feedback.</li><li>Tell them "You did X. It caused Y."</li><li>If you’re giving positive feedback, say "Good job."</li><li>If you’re giving negative feedback, tell them how they should adjust their actions in the future.</li></ol>

Manager Tool’s Feedback Model

&quot;Never criticize the person. Always criticize the actions. And when you’re making suggestions, make suggestions about actions, not about the person.&quot;

"Giving feedback turns out to be the unnatural atomic building block atop which the unnatural skill set of management gets built," wrote Andreessen Horowitz co-founder and venture capitalist Ben Horowitz. Despite being the number one driver of our personal and professional development, effective and actionable feedback can be incredibly hard...

takingcriticism

Unhelpful feedback

The Worst, Most Meaningless Feedback People Get At Work

Taking Criticism The Right Way

TAKING CRITICISM