deepstash

Beta

© Brainstash, Inc

AboutCuratorsJobsPress Kit
profile-photo

Brielle

@brielle49

US

173

Following

201

Followers

398

Ideas read

102

Stashed ideas

24

Published articles

LAST PUBLISHED

Empathy

Empathy is the ability to feel and relate to another being. It's natural to experience this towards our friends, family, colleagues, and even strangers. When we empathize with someone, our good intentions often get lost in translation when we communicate.

Oftentimes, when we try to comfort the other person, we are quick to give unsolicited advice and offer solutions to try and fix their problems when what they really need is someone who will listen with no judgments or commentary.

@brielle49

3 simple ways to express empathy in your next conversation

ideas.ted.com

  1. Show them that you notice their change in behaviour. We must acknowledge the other person's unhappiness and let them know that we want to know more about what they're experiencing without trying to cheer them up.
  2. Ask them: "Can you help me understand?" This phrase sends out the message that you're not trying to fix their life but you're curious and that you care.
  3. Share an observation. Reminding people about their positive attributes can be helpful but be sure to keep it short and simple.
“Every conversation is an opportunity for us to listen, to hold space and to offer an empathetic response.”
Writing Daily

To build a habit of daily writing, try to get three pages of writing done every day. It can be about anything and it’s important that you write all without editing or censoring.

Daily writing can be used to clear your mind, think out loud and troubleshoot problems, thoughts and anxieties. But before you start, figure out why you personally want to write more often as this will help push you forward when things are tough.

How to Develop a Daily Writing Habit

medium.com

Set Accountability Metrics

Come up with trackable goals like a number of words or pages per day. The specificity is important because being able to measure it allows you to keep track of your progress and better change your behavior. 

Make It a Regular Practice

Keeping track of streaks is a very powerful tactic for developing any new habit. Knowing that you have consistently succeeded for a number of days helps you push through the days who are unmotivated.

Other ways to foster regularity: writing in a different style or genre, and doing your writing first thing in the morning.

Be Accountable And Make It More Fun

If you have a friend who’s also a writer you can challenge each other to write in different styles and with writing prompts. He can also help you as an accountability partner.

Register Prompts For Later Days

Keep a notebook of writing prompts in case you run out of ideas or want to leave something for later. 

Don’t Worry About Editing

It will take you forever to write 750 words if you worry about format and editing while doing the creative stuff too. Most people recommend separating the two actions.

Get comfortable with having tons of typos and your writing being mostly nonsense. You have the option to edit it later. 

The value of solid writing skills
  • Being a good writer helps you stand out from the crowd.
  • Repeated writing mistakes affect your reputation and credibility in the future.
  • Your writing is one of the primary mediums in which you will be judged throughout your life.
  • Your writing communicates your thoughts, and it’s important that those thoughts are conveyed in the clearest, most eloquent way possible.

10 Simple Ways to Improve Your Business Writing Skills

moneycrashers.com

Kurt Vonnegut
t;Why should you examine your writing style with the idea of improving it? Do so as a mark of respect for your readers, whatever you’re writing.<

... for establishing what and how you will write:

  • Who: Who is my audience?
  • What: What do they need to know?
  • When: When does this apply, when did this happen, or when do they need to know it by?
  • Where: Where is this happening?
  • Why: Why do they need this information?
  • How: How should they use this information?
Keep it short

Think about how people read. Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip - the long paragraphs that have more to do with what you want to say than what the reader needs to hear. Always keep your reader in mind.

And if you can’t write an email that’s less than half a page long, then email isn’t the best way to communicate this information. 

If your reader has to use Google or a dictionary to decipher what you’re trying to say, they’re going to feel annoyed.

Avoid jargon - it makes you sound pretentious, and it can further alienate your reader. Instead, write the way you talk. Keep it natural and direct.

They are direct, bold and more interesting than passive ones. In an active sentence, the subject performs the action of the verb. In a passive sentence, the subject is letting the action happen to them.

Example: The golfer hit the ball Vs. The ball was hit by the golfer. The first sentence is written in the active voice. The second sentence is passive.

Always be professional

Be authentic and to let your voice shine through in your writing, but also keep it professional. A good way to check the appropriateness of your content is to ask: “Would I be comfortable with this if it was on the front page of the newspaper tomorrow morning?” If this makes you cringe, do some editing.

Don’t leave it up to your reader to figure out what you want them to do with this information. Spell it out, and be specific. For example:

  • Please send back any edits by 5 pm on Tuesday.
  • Please call this client back by Friday to resolve the issue.

Pro Tip: If you need immediate action on something, talk to the recipient in person. 

The subject line

Use your email subject line appropriately. It is the headline for your email. And a headline’s job is to make sure the body gets read. For this, it needs to be short, direct, powerful, and specific.

The EOM technique
If you only need to ask a simple question in the email, use the End of Message (EOM) technique: Write your question in the email subject line and add “EOM” at the end. This saves your reader time because they can quickly reply without having to read the more superfluous text.

Example: “Will you be attending this Monday’s 2 pm meeting? EOM.”

Focusing on one topic per email gives your reader time to process what you’re saying and respond directly. It also helps them organize their emails more efficiently and find archived emails faster.

Never use email to deliver bad news.

If you need to lay off someone on your team, or provide feedback, do it in person. It’s easy for misunderstandings to occur through email. In person, you can communicate with compassion and empathy, and you can use your body language and vocal tone to further convey your sincerity and intentions.

Once you’re finished writing, proofread it immediately. If possible, put it away and read it again a few hours (or a few days) later. Giving yourself some distance from the writing will help you spot mistakes you might have missed on the first read-through.

First Impressions

While trying to get hired, moving up the organization, or impressing clients, first impressions really become the last ones. However, many people who apparently make a great first impression on a date, meeting or party complain about being ‘ghosted’.

The devil is in the details here, as there are many small cues, the little things that create a lasting impression or make the other person create a negative impression of someone.

A Matchmaker’s Advice on How to Make a Great First Impression at Work

hbr.org

First impressions are now increasingly the Google/Facebook/Instagram search results. Our Linkedin profile, for instance, is a place hundreds of would-be recruiters make snap judgements, even before meeting us.

Their own preset notions and expectations cloud their decision, and our online profiles become the place where we have to be extremely careful.

  1. In your LinkedIn profile, add a slightly humorous line that makes you less of a larger-than-life person and more of a vulnerable human being.
  2. Your Profile Picture matters a lot, so you can conduct a test among your colleagues and acquaintances, giving them a few choices and asking for feedback.

A mundane, I’m Fine, Thank you! Isn’t going to be a great thing to say on a date, as it sounds superficial, artificial and robotic. A deep, interesting person will add something natural and creative to any conversation.

One can also start with a deeper question to form a real connection, like instead of asking the standard “How are you?”, one can say, “How are you, really?”

Typical, standard interactions put anyone to sleep. It is good to be a ‘purple cow’, and stand out from the crowd. Even while being interviewed virtually, you can say something polite that stands out from the rest of the crowd saying the same old things.

While talking to colleagues, insert a fun joke in meeting invites, or have a little contest with a small prize. Just don’t be boring!

  • A great first impression isn’t made by saying stuff, or by stating facts, or by answering each question impeccably. It is made by how you make the other person feel.
  • If you are interested in what they say and listen actively, they will start to form a connection, as they will feel good talking to you, even though they are doing most of the talking.
  • One can be genuinely interested and can ask an open-ended question, but don’t start to interrogate or start to brag.

Most of us know that we should not frown or keep our arms crossed on a first date (or pick our nose, for that matter), but there are other things that help in non-verbal communication on a Zoom call:

  1. Lean forward by placing your elbow on your desk, showing that you are interested.
  2. Instead of looking at the screen, you can make eye-contact virtually by looking at the camera on your laptop.
  3. If looking at the camera is not intuitive, then you can stick a picture of someone who you are fond of, above the camera, and look into the eyes of that photograph.
Memorizing Speeches
  • Once in our lives, we'll be able to get the chance of speaking in front of many people, doing declamations or oratorical and memorizing a speech is a useful skill to learn.
  • Delivering a speech helps us to build our confidence and exude it at the same time.
  • Speeches should feel natural, even memorized ones.
  • The paradox of memorizing speeches is that you need to memorize the speech without seeming like you did.

How to Memorize a Speech | Scott H Young

scotthyoung.com

There are two ways you can write down your speech:

  1. How you want to say it;
  2. As an outline or a skeleton.

When you've written it down it's going to take more than several times to figure out what you're trying to say and this is the sculpting process where you edit, add, or delete parts of your speech to make it sound better.

  • The key to memorizing a speech is to memorize it hierarchically. You begin with the broad chunks, moving to specific paragraphs, phrases, up until the intonation and your timing with the words.
  • When starting with the chunks you simply write out the main points of the speech then cover them up and recall them.
  • Moving up to the small points you can expand your bullets to represent each idea with one or two key words and quiz yourself until you have it memorized.

Now that you've written your speech down and practiced it more than a hundred times, you're about to go on stage to perform.

Remember the chunks you've written down and place your attention mostly on the things you want to say, because the how of the delivery will simple come out however you've practiced it most

Is used to simplify discussions between many parties and is designed to allow every party to voice its opinion, but still arrive at a consensus quickly. 

Instead of repeating stated positions, each party is encouraged to speak personally and state their “red lines,” which are thresholds that they don’t want to cross. But while telling others their hard limits, they are also asked to provide solutions to find a common ground

This simple negotiation tactic brought 195 countries to consensus

qz.com

Using emotional intelligence in negotiations
  • Repeat the last 1-3 words your counterpart just said back to them - makes your counterpart feel safe enough.
  • Practice tactical empathy. Demonstrate to your counterpart that you see the nuances of their emotions.
  • Get to a “no.” Being pushed for “yes” makes people defensive; they fear a trap. 
  • The moment you’ve convinced someone that you understand their dreams and feelings is the moment a negotiation breakthrough can happen.
  • Create the illusion of control. The secret to gaining the upper hand in a negotiation is to give the other side the illusion of control. 

5 Tactics to Win a Negotiation, According to an FBI Agent

time.com

Let Me Interrupt You

Research shows that even the best listeners of the world, professional listeners like teachers, therapists, counsellors, coaches, listen only for about 11 seconds at a time.

Humans expect and even crave for people who will not interrupt them, and listen to them attentively when they speak, no matter how long they speak. Humans long for undivided attention from the other person, but it is hard to find anyone who will not interrupt a person speaking, or will be a gentle, active and patient listener.

Let me finish: how to stop interrupting… and change the world

theguardian.com

Interruption Diminishes Us

Interruption is a destructive and violent act, and no matter what value the interrupter thinks that may be added by the very act of hedging one’s words in between, the speaker who is interrupted will never heal from the diminishing of his or her thoughts.

Constant interruption creates polarization among individuals and even inside us, and not interrupting may be the very glue that can keep society together.

Interrupting humans were already doing a great job, but now the act is multifold, with the digital devices turning people into loud zombies who sometimes are impossible to talk to.

As if to add salt to a wound, we have, for the past decade or so, the ultimate distraction and interruption device in our pockets, keeping us soaked in junk info, and making our minds relentlessly numb.

The root cause of Polarization is interruption, and this has to be cut down by a full determination to understand each other and promise to:

  1. Stop Interrupting others.
  2. Pay full attention to the other person.
  3. Stay interested in where the discussion will go next.
  4. Don’t make an excuse for interrupting, like providing clarity or correction.
  5. Don’t be a smart-Alec.

If we are able to follow this, we can change the world.

Being Unable To Articulate Your Thoughts
  • Many introverts face difficulty in being able to articulate what is in their minds into words.
  • Introverts process information in a much deeper way, trying to think of the exact word, and this prolonged word-retrieval exercise makes them ‘freeze’.
  • Introverts like to chew on ideas and are not vocal about their deep, inner thoughts.

The Science Behind Why Introverts Struggle to Put Their Thoughts Into Words

introvertdear.com

Like in a computer hard disk, information that is retained for long periods of time is in our long-term memory and is not easy to recall reflexively, as it is outside our conscious awareness.

Our short-term memory (also called working memory or active memory) is smaller in size and recalls information in an instant.

Introverts seem to favour long-term memory over short-term memory.

Due to the way their brains are wired, introverts make great writers, able to express themselves in a more comfortable and relaxed manner, as they take their own time to build a great story or narrative.

Many introverts prefer text messages or email over phone calls, and are great at journaling and blogging.

Stress, anxiety and any sort of pressure to divulge, recall or remember certain information can be a mental lock, interfering with memory.

When your mind goes blank, one can try the following:

  1. Be calm and relaxed, practising quietness for a few moments.
  2. Buy yourself some time.
  3. Let your mind wander and naturally unlock your memory in a relaxed manner.
  4. Do not feel embarrassed and tell the person that you will get back to them by text or email, as you are engrossed in something else right now.
Manipulation by passive and covert aggression
  • Passive-aggression is an indirect way to go on the offensive. An example is when someone tries to "get you back" by resisting cooperation and giving you the "silent treatment."
  • Covert-aggression is calculated and underhanded to get what they want while keeping their aggressive intentions hidden. Covert aggressive people want to do bad while looking perfectly good.

This Is How To Deal With Passive-Aggressive People

bakadesuyo.com

  • They pretend to be innocent, ignorant, or confused when they did something awful. This tactic is to make you question your judgment.
  • They don't give a straight answer to a straight question, but evade the question or change the subject when cornered.
  • They lie by omission or distortion by deliberately being vague.
  • They may either respond with charm and flattery, of will suddenly be angry.
  • They'll play the victim and make themselves out to be the one in distress.
  • They rationalize by giving a plausible excuse for engaging in inappropriate behavior, or they will downplay their behavior.
  • Covert aggressives don't feel bad, but they know you do. They will send you on a guilt trip so you will lighten your accusations.
  • Let go of the pretense that if you play nice, they will play nice.
  • Know your vulnerabilities and focus on the one thing that really needs to change: yourself. You can only control what you do.
  • Set some boundaries for yourself. Be prepared for the consequences and set a support system.
  • Memorize the list of tactics used by an aggressive person. Then it is easier to recognize the attack.
  • If you're willing to accept an excuse, know that they will fling excuses at you until one stick.
  • Stay calm and polite, and avoid sarcasm, hostility, or threats.
  • Without being rude, be specific about what you expect or want from the other person. Aggressives will only participate if they can get something out of it. If they have to lose, they'll make sure you go down too. Ensure you propose win-win solutions

SAVED

Loading...

deepstash

helps you become inspired, wiser and productive, through bite-sized ideas from the best articles, books and videos out there.

Download from Google PlayDownload from the App Store

Over 2M Installs

4.75 App Score