deepstash

Beta

© Brainstash, Inc

AboutCuratorsJobsPress Kit
profile-photo

Daniel M

@danielm33

US

126

Following

176

Followers

348

Ideas read

138

Stashed ideas

25

Published articles

LAST PUBLISHED

Guilt Gone Wrong

Guilt is a normal emotion and at the right levels can be useful in our relationships, but unhealthy guilt has high levels of anxiety, pressure and shame associated with it, which can be toxic to our lives.

Guilt occurs when certain rules are broken. While some rules are universal and need to be upheld, there are certain rules which are self-made or imposed by society:

  1. Don’t disappoint others.
  2. Never get angry.
  3. Always say Yes.

@danielm33

How to save yourself another pointless guilt trip | Psyche Guides

psyche.co

  1. Healthy guilt occurs when you break a reasonable rule, but if you break an unrealistic or unreasonable rule, you experience unhealthy guilt.
  2. If someone is upset, it does not necessarily mean they are really hurt by your behaviour.
  3. Unhealthy guilt often comes with a lingering shame.
  4. The purpose of healthy guilt is to guide you, but unhealthy guilt is there to punish and mentally abuse you.

A natural reaction to guilt can be to compulsively apologize or to distract oneself. Our voice of guilt or conscience can be helpful if we slow down and listen to it. Identify, acknowledge, accept and allow the feeling of guilt. Check what rules were broken, including all the should’s and shouldn’ts that arose out of the consequences of our action.

If we break a realistic rule, we can understand that the guilt is healthy, but if the rule that is broken is rigid, unrealistic, extreme or misaligned with our values, we may have excessive and toxic guilt.

We can turn the unpleasant feelings of guilt into a positive, constructive experience that is beneficial for us and others.

Seeing that we have done something that is totally unacceptable can be taken in both negative and positive terms. We cannot become a better person by attacking, punishing or criticising ourselves. Our improvement depends on our not being harsh on ourselves, bringing in compassion and taking swift action to repair the unpleasant situation.

Hans Hofmann
“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.”

Tiny Changes You Can Make in Your Home to Make Life Simpler

marcandangel.com

Remove decorations

... that no longer inspire you. Just because something made you happy in the past doesn’t mean you have to keep it forever.

Your life has moved on—maybe it’s time for the decoration to do the same. Keeping just the items that mean the most to you will help them to shine.

Reject the convenience fallacy

There are certain places in our homes we tend to leave items out for convenience. By leaving these things out, we think we’re saving time and simplifying our lives. That’s the convenience fallacy. 

W might save a couple of seconds, but the other 99.9 percent of the time, those items just sit there creating a visual distraction. 

Simplifying vs. and tidying up

Just because a room is tidy doesn’t necessarily mean it’s uncluttered or serves its purpose. Well-organized clutter is still clutter. Never organize what you don’t even use and can easily donate to someone who will.

Count the “clutter cost"

It can be hard to get rid of things you spent a lot of money on

But keeping things you no longer wear, use or love also has a cost—every object carries a burden as well as a benefit. The burden or “clutter cost” is the money, time, energy, and space an object demands of you. 

Free up closet space

If you’ve been thinking that you need bigger closets, maybe all you need to do is right-size your wardrobe—and your closet will feel bigger overnight.

Plus, donating unused clothing to a local charity is a simple but meaningful way to help others.

Declutter duplicates

One of the easiest things you can do to make quick progress. 

Good candidates for eliminating duplicates include extra pillows, sheets, and towels, cleaning supplies, gardening tools, fashion accessories, home office supplies, toys, books, and kitchen items. Keep your favorite in each category—the ones you actually use—and get rid of the rest.

Clear your dining room table

If your dining room table a depository for mail, backpacks, keys, and other things that are in the process of going from one place to another, using it for a meal may seem like more work than it’s worth. Put the items away where they belong. Make your tabletop a clean, open and inviting space.

Calm a space for being at peace

You calm a space when you minimize distractions. 

Choose a favorite chair and declutter everything around it. Remove anything from the floor that isn’t furniture. Clear the surface of side tables or a coffee table by removing or storing remotes, pet toys, kid toys, hobby items, old newspapers/magazines, mail, books, etc.

Clean out your entertainment center

Take out old electronic components, cords you don’t need, and discs and games nobody uses. Get rid of them by recycling responsibly, arrange the devices you do use in an eye-pleasing display, and hide their cords as much as possible.

Pare down your supplies
  • Empty out the cabinets and drawers.
  • Separate beauty tools (hairdryer, styling iron, savers, etc.) from beauty supplies (make-up, lotion, aftershave, etc.).
  • Eliminate duplicates, throw out anything that’s broken or old, and get rid of items you no longer use. 
  • Wash your storage containers and organize what you’re going to keep.
Tackle the junk drawer

It’s the default resting place for small items that have no better place to be. Or for things we think might have some use but we can no longer remember what it is. 

Chances are good you can toss out most of what’s in there and never miss it.

Clear space in the garage

A garage is not serving you well if it’s not serving its purpose, which is to house your car.

That’s not to say that there’s anything wrong with using a garage for storage, but it’s possible to go too far with it—and a lot of us do.

Leave space for yourself

Clear a little extra space between your personal tasks and obligations.

Take a break to stretch, take a short walk outside, drink a glass of water, perhaps do some simple deep breathing exercises. Enjoy the (emotional and physical) space you’ve created for yourself in your home, and breathe.

Goals Vs Systems

A goal is a destination, a system in the journey to get there:

  • Goals are one-time events: you reach them and then you're done.
  • Systems represent the way you're reaching your objectives: the processes you follow regularly that lead you in the direction of your goal.

For example: losing 30 pounds is a goal, exercising and eating the right way represent the system.

Obsessing over a certain goal means you're operating from a constant state of failure: you're failing to meet your own expectations. This can make you feel frustrated and miserable because you're not reaching the stage you desire to be at.

Having goals is essential, or else you would not know what kind of systems you need to create. But once you know what your goals are, focusing on them can be counterproductive.

Follow these steps, while also taking into consideration your unique circumstances:

  • Choose the direction you want to follow.
  • Find out how to get there by asking good questions.
  • Experiment with the answers and readjust.
Action isn’t the effect of motivation, but the cause of it

It is often believed that action needs to be preceded by motivation, which is preceded by inspiration. Not at all. It's the opposite: Action provides the Inspiration that gets you Motivated.

Your actions create the emotional reactions to motivate your future actions.Not the other way around.

The "Do Something" Principle

markmanson.net

The “Do Something” Principle

If you lack the motivation to make an important change in your life, do something, anything really, even the smallest of actions, to get inspiration and motivation to do something else. 

You will think  “OK, I did that, I guess I can do more.” And slowly we could take it from there.

An inspiring workspace: clarify your needs

Instead of scrolling through listings to find a home or workspace that will inspire your life, try creating your own. The act of thinking through what you want is very clarifying.

Things to consider:

  • How far away from work do you want to be, and how would you get there (bike, subway, car)?
  • How far from your friends and/or family do you want to be?
  • What size space would you like and what do you really need?
  • How important is natural light for you?
  • What room in your home do you tend to spend the most time in?
  • Do you tend to spend most of your waking hours outside of the home, and how would that affect your priorities?
  • How much can you afford to spend each month on your space?
  • Do you prefer to live alone or with roommates?

How to make your home and workspace fuel your creativity

thecreativeindependent.com

Budget is usually an issue for people working in creative fields, making it difficult to get everything they want from real estate or a roommate.

Consider which requirements you cannot live without in your new space. Also, keep in mind that stepping out of your comfort zone can inspire new ideas and personal breakthroughs.

Finding a great roommate is about finding the right fit. Be very specific about what you're looking for in a roommate, who you are, and how you live, and what you value in your home.

To thrive in a roommate situation, remember that you're in a relationship with these people, not merely cohabiting. You'll need to invest time and energy into the situation.

It is helpful to keep a journal of when inspiration strikes or when you do your best work. You can then adjust your home or your listing accordingly.

If you have your most creative moments in the shower, consider fixing the leaky sink or add a whiteboard to the wall so you can jot down ideas.

It is important to create a particular spot in your home that you can associate with clearing your mind and spacing out.

It can be as simple as a chair near a window or gathering your favourite objects onto a single table or shelve.

The Science Of Cute

Traits such as big eyes, fuzziness, and having pudgy bodies, we tend to often find them cute and adorable. From babies to baby animals, it's hard not to be excited when we see them; this is only natural due to how our bodies are programmed.

Our brains are filled with "feel-good chemicals" whenever we see something cute. We often find ourselves in gigil. This is also known as cuteness aggression.

The Puppy Dog Eyes

Most of us are aware of this cute tactic pulled by certain animals but more likely with dogs. As wolves evolved to become domesticated to they developed an irresistible look pulled with their sweet beady little eyes.

Scientists that studied the behavior of dogs in shelters believe that dogs have developed this to exploit human preferences in order for them to find a new home.

Benefiting of scaling down your goals

Research suggests that fewer goals are better. When we start a goal, feeling that it's doable is important. The compound effect of fewer goals is more powerful because it leads to outsized achievements.

When we read inspirational posts, we may feel inspired to expand our goals and achieve more - learning to speak Mandarin, playing the guitar, or starting a blog. It can result in an overwhelming list of unattainable goals.

Scaling down: on seeking fewer goals, relationships, and experiences

nesslabs.com

Many areas in our lives could benefit from scaling down.

  • Meaningful relationships. Research suggests that satisfying friendships that are reciprocal have a positive impact on our well-being.
  • Meaningful experiences. We spend too much time doing, and don't leave space of being. Instead of attending every event, plan a big adventure for yourself. Instead of eating out every evening, save up for the best restaurant.
  • Other areas. Scale down your consumption by buying less. Scale down your time spent at work so you can see your children grow up.
The Precursor To The Christmas Tree

Church records from the 15th and 16th centuries show that holly and ivy were bought in the winter. Private houses were also decorated with greenery at this time.

The precursor to the Christmas tree can be seen in the pole that parishes would decorate with holly and ivy.

How Christmas Trees Became a Holiday Tradition

time.com

In Germany, "Paradise Plays" were performed to celebrate the feast day of Adam and Eve, which was on Christmas Eve. A tree of knowledge was represented by an evergreen fir with apples tied to its branches.

In 1419, a guild in Freiburg put up a tree decorated with apples, wafers, tinsel and gingerbread.

The Oldest Christmas Tree Markets
  • They were in present-day France and sold unadorned Christmas trees during the 17th century.
  • The first decorated indoor tree was recorded in 1605, in Strasbourg, decorated with roses, apples, wafers and other sweets.
  • Demand for Christmas trees grew so high in the 15th century that laws were passed in Strasbourg to prevent people from cutting pine branches.
  • In the 1530s, the region of Alsace was limited to one tree per household.
  • In 1805, Moravian missionaries in America sent their Indian pupils to fetch a small green tree for Christmas. Similar examples appear in the first half of the 19th century in the Midwest and further West.
  • In 1848, an image appeared in the London News of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert and their children gathering around a Christmas tree, presents underneath the tree. The premier women's magazine in America reprinted a version of the image a few years later as "The Christmas Tree" which cemented the Christmas tree in the popular consciousness.
The Artificial Christmas Tree

In 1964, TIME magazine showcased a new Christmas trend - polyvinyl trees that looked more realistic than ever before.

Fifty years later, artificial trees still dominate the Christmas tree industry. They have a lower environmental impact when transporting them to retail outlets are factored in. But some argue that real trees support local economies.

  • Practice mind control and master it! Get rid of bad thoughts; they will just constantly remind you badly of yourself. Instead, use that flaw as an inspiration to train yourself and get better at anything.
  • Pull the trigger by turning that sting into a positive trigger; it will remind you that you're building confidence around something different.
  • Monitor your time. Reduce reaction times and set limits each time you practice. Remind yourself to do it in a shorter amount of time. Be honest and monitor how long it took.
  • Make your impact. Control your emotions, gain the skills you need and move towards your goals.