We understand success as something relative to others and not something by itself. Status, power, wealth and position is by default a relative rank to the rest of the contenders of society. This constant comparison is designed for unending misery for all rank holders, from the first to the last.
Real success is individual, and true happiness comes from identifying and cultivating your own inner strength and contentment.
We naturally seek validation from external sources like friends, family and social media (number of likes), but fail to realize that true happiness comes from within us, and real freedom is when we focus on ourselves, not others.
If we only strive for external validation we are simply giving control of our happiness to others. Antidote: Look yourself in the mirror daily and say ‘I Love You’.
Most people live and become their job roles. We simply don’t understand that we are more than just our work, and wake up in the morning as employees, not human beings on this beautiful planet.
When we are done with our lives, we will regret that we were only working the whole time and didn’t live our precious life. We would give everything we have to live just one more day with the people we love.
Relationships and connections are a bigger source of happiness than status.
Instead of constantly comparing ourselves with others(a surefire recipe for a miserable life) we need to compare ourselves with the person we were before, like a year or five years ago. We need to grow, evolve, blossom and make ourselves better and wiser in every sphere of life.
Everybody is running their own marathon. Train hard and only compete with yourself.
Introversion is how you’re wired, whereas social anxiety is something that is holding you back due to fear instead of a choice you're making.
Non-anxious introverts are very happy to leave a party early, but people with social anxiety often leave because they feel so worried and want relief.
Psychiatrist Victor Frankl, whose classic book Man’s Search For Meaning promotes better mental and emotional health by discovering meaning in our lives, provided us with a dilemma: To savour the world or to enjoy it.
The main drive of life, according to many philosophers, is to find meaning in all the suffering we all inevitably go through. Troubling, bleak and disturbing news can be a source of anxiety or a call to action, depending on a person’s mindset.
It is fortunate to be part of the solution to the world’s problems, making a positive contribution, and doing good things that help others. However, if we don’t strike a balance and keep our life enjoyment at bay, there will be a point of burnout where we will experience compassion fatigue.
Taking a walk in the park, a bike ride, exercise, painting, meditation and yoga can recharge our batteries and boost our happiness.
We need to balance our life with activities and relationships that nurture our mind and body while being beneficial to others. We can cultivate our inner resources in a way that allows us to impact others with kindness and caring.
Small things like a warm smile, kindness in one’s voice and a spring in your step is a beautiful way to touch others, rather than appearing irritated or foul. We all need to rekindle our own balance and increase the resources we have to offer to others while enjoying our time on this planet.
Is the act of selecting a target or objective you wish to achieve.
Goal setting is not only about choosing the rewards you want to enjoy, but also the costs you are willing to pay to achieve your goals.
Example: If you’re a writer, your goal is to write a book. Your system is the writing schedule that you follow each week.
Evidence of your progress towards a goal is one of the most motivating things you can experience.
The trick is to realize that counting, measuring, and tracking is not about the result. Measure to discover, to find out, to understand.
Everyone's purpose is different and where they stem from holds variety. We have no "one true purpose" but we are in charge of what it may be.
In spite of the truth it holds, purpose is something we can cultivate through conscious action and reflection, and it easily wax and wane throughout our lives.
We often spend our days doing everything but that difficult thing we're dreading to do.
This happens because we're trying to protect ourselves from uncertainty. We don’t want to feel like we don’t know what we’re doing, to look stupid or to to feel overwhelmed.
Avoiding doing a task we're dreading actually just makes us feel more overwhelmed, more like a failure or disappointment, more stupid or not good enough.
Get into the action habit. We do the thing by deciding to do the thing.
The experience of trauma is heavy on one’s emotional, mental and physical health, leading to complications like Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) along with anxiety, depression and other emotional issues.
The person experiencing trauma becomes fearful of human contact and socializing, shutting the world and withdrawing within.
Expressive writing, or daily journaling of life events, feelings, emotions and thoughts, is a kind of therapy that improves our mental health, as we do not let life pile up, giving it space, distance and shape while reflecting on it. It acts as a vent to our sadness and deep-rooted pain, providing acceptance, and eventually healing.
Life writing can be a diary, journal, oral testimony, memoir or an autobiography, though personal essays or memoirs prove to be the most therapeutic.
Agreeable, organized individuals seem to have a suppressed, dark side in their personality.
Model citizens, and people with high self-control, and those who are resistant to impulsive behaviour in daily life, maybe ‘bursting’ out their inner desires in one go all of a sudden, letting go of their willpower and even morality.
People with high levels of self-control are generally seen to be healthy, well-rounded individuals who are ideally less likely to act violently or aggressively.
New research shows that this behaviour pattern may be to gain acceptance and tread the social norms as a means to one’s end, being selfish and self-centred in private.
People with high self-control have a surprising behavioural trait of being shrewd and cruel according to various studies:
But more research needs to be done before we slot someone’s moral values and behavioural traits into predictable patterns.