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Ryan V.

@ryan_rvv221

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The 4 core skills of emotional intelligene

Personal competence:

  • Self-Awareness: perceive your emotions and stay aware of them as they happen.
  • Self-Management: use awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and positively direct your behavior.

Social competence:

  • Social Awareness: pick up on emotions in other people and understand what is really going on.
  • Relationship Management: use awareness of your emotions and the others’ emotions to manage interactions successfully.

@ryan_rvv221

Why You Need More Emotional Intelligence

huffpost.com

Emotional intelligence is the strongest predictor of performance.

Your emotional intelligence is the foundation for a host of critical skills—it impacts most everything you do and say each day.

The People We Argue With At Work
  • It is inevitable to disagree with colleagues, bosses and coworkers at work.
  • People deploy varied techniques and styles when they clash with their work colleagues, but there are no guidelines on how we work through the conflict.
  • It also depends on if we are trying to ensure that the relationship isn’t damaged, or just focused on getting the result.
  • It is all about priorities, and being successful in hustling with others can lead to success at the cost of being alienated by others and losses in the long term.

The 7 Conflict Styles Of People You Argue With At Work

huffpost.com

Competitors focus on the result, and have an assertive and uncooperative working style.

They can make people give-in to their demands by their imposing, aggressive nature, but even if they get the results they want and do well in their jobs, their conflict style makes people hostile towards them, leading to lack of teamwork and idea sharing.

Collaborators take everyone’s ideas into account and try to reach a consensus. This mode of conflict may sound idealistic, but there are some pitfalls. Collaborators can start being manipulative and less transparent about everyone’s input. They can also promise to everyone but then be unable to keep the promise, leading to distrust.

Collaborators need to be transparent and set the right expectations to their co-workers.

The always obliging accommodators yield too much, sacrificing their own needs in the process. They start to be pushovers, as people take advantage of their accommodating nature.

The way for them to say a ‘no’ to an unfair request is to say: ‘That doesn’t work for me.’

Dealmakers negotiate both ways and bargain to get results, even if there is some compromise involved. They know that neither party can get exactly what they want, and move towards the middle path.

Dealmakers can also make false promises and be less honest about the long-term facts, so it is good to read the fine print.

Some coworkers see a problem and address it is to a person higher up, with more power. They think raising problems with superiors will get the clout and power they need or will lead to a quick resolution. Whatever their intention, no one likes someone going behind their back and this tactic often backfires.

Though it is a good strategy for addressing conflicts like harassment or toxic work environments, involving higher-ups for simple disagreements is just a waste of time and energy.

A person avoiding conflicts will ensure the work relationship does not turn sour, and will let conflicts go. While it may make things easy, their own voice is stifled, and their silence comes off as inaction.

If we see a coworker completely avoiding arguments, we may need to probe a little so that we know what they need.

Some personality types argue for the sake of it. The problem may be personal, fake or non-existent, but they cannot be upfront about that. The argument is part of their deception to cover the real problem.

One needs to see through them and find out the real reasons why they are talking in circles.

Individuals show a tendency to speak more than to listen. Therefore, the art of listening seems to be in some sort of delay when compared to the one of speaking. However, both of them are essential in order to ensure a healthy communication.

The Art of Conversation

estherperel.com

When wanting to encourage healthy communication, start by making sure that everybody participates in the conversation. This is one of the safest ways to ensure deeper connections and meaningful communication within groups and not only.

Holiday events build connections

Working from home has the potential to be very isolating. Holding virtual holiday events are a way to build connections with faraway colleagues.

A company holiday party acts as an acknowledgement of your membership in a community and recognition of your work. When the option for you to participate is missing, it can send a signal that you're not a full member or fully appreciated.

For Remote Employees, The Best Christmas Gift Is Acknowledgment

huffpost.com

Just being invited to the party is not enough. Many companies inadvertently make remote employees feel like second-class citizens. When organizing company events, they do not consider the logistical problems their remote employees face, such as plane tickets and hotel costs.

Some companies who do remember to host remote workers do not always include them properly. Videoconferencing means virtual employees can watch everyone having a good time, but they can't participate and will still feel excluded.

In order to make a holiday event inclusive for everyone, companies can come up with ways to celebrate and have fun together.

  • They could set a clear expectation that for the first half-hour, employees will talk about their greatest accomplishments from the year and what they want to bring into the new year.
  • Turning on the camera could be made mandatory.
  • Come prepared with conversation starters like, "What's your plan for the holiday?"
  • An instant messaging platform like Slack can be used for people to discuss their interests outside work.
  • Companies can give a budget to employees who live in the same location to throw their own local holiday party.
  • Those who don't have other colleagues close can create their own party open to anyone working remotely. They can unite around the idea of remote work.
Make Time To Connect

Workers crave a sense of authentic connection with others and the best way to do that is by bringing people together in person. But it's not always a viable alternative.

One way to do that is to try to give everyone the same day off, give people a “theme” for an activity of their choosing on that day, and find a way for the team to share their adventures. This could be during a team call or a shared photo library.

How to bring remote teams together: 5 ways to build authentic connections

blog.rescuetime.com

Communication
  • Set clear expectations and make an effort to be a good listener.
  • Set clear boundaries. Establish a preferred time for communications so you feel respected and acknowledged.
  • Get to know others. Remote workers often have purely transactional interactions. Listen to people and get to know them.
  • Update people on what you’re working on and your availability
Use Shared Experiences

A co-located office develops its own personality through inside jokes, shared experiences, and a collaborative environment. A remote team needs to develop something similar.

Creating specific Slack channels based on interests and book clubs where the company funds the books are the easiest ways to do this for remote workers.

Learning about someone takes time and effort. But it also helps you as a team connect on a deeper level. One of the best ways to do this is with a game called Conspiracy Santa, a version of Secret Santa in which the team works together to pick the perfect gift:
  • Set a budget for presents and a date for your ‘gift-opening party’
  • An email thread goes out to everyone except the receiver of the gift
  • Everyone replies about what they know about this person and then proposes gift ideas.
  • Agree on a gift (which the company will purchase)
  • Get together over video chat on the day of the ‘party’ to open gifts and talk about them.

Weekly video check-ins or catch-ups are fantastic ways to create a sense of community and belongingness:

  • Start with a welcome and an agenda. Update everyone and set the tone by chatting a few minutes.
  • Celebrate accomplishments. Let people know about exciting news and changes.
  • Give a high-level update on the progress of company-wide goals.
  • Give each team a chance to share major updates, concerns, or questions.
  • Do a Q&A session, real-time or with anonymous forms ahead of time for sensitive topics.
  • At the end of the call, make groups of people who may not normally connect and let them talk more personally.
  • Remote workers often feel lonely without in-person connection and that can impact their abilities and productivity.
  • It takes more effort to bond with people you only interact virtually
  • Human beings need social and face-to-face interaction to build trust and understanding.
  • Remote working brings more instances of miscommunication due to the lack of physical feedback.
Psychological Safety

Research indicates that successful teams foster “psychological safety”. This is a culture characterized by interpersonal trust and mutual respect, where people are comfortable being themselves.

Teams with psychological safety are more creative. They’re more trusting. They’re more innovative. And most of all, they’re more connected. 

The A Player

Many stories have a lone person, who is unknown but eventually becomes a hero due to his years of toiling and getting success. We like to think of this ‘heroic’ feat as something done exclusively by the hero.

The role of the team, the other people that are not in the frame is often overlooked. Any important achievement cannot be done alone, and if we look closely, a person is a product of the education system, society, environment, luck, the internet and a lot more.

The Importance of Working With “A” Players

fs.blog

The job of a leader is to get the right team, which according to an estimate provides three times more output than an average team.

The work of a leader isn’t as simple as hiring the best talent, and merely putting smart people together as a team is not an effective strategy.

Any combination of individual intelligence does not make an intelligent group, no matter how logical it sounds on paper.

The ‘A’ Players, the cream of individual intelligence, bring in drive, integrity and the ability to mentor, but all of which is not possible without the collective effort of other players of the team, who are not A players.

Venting At The Office

Due to the stress accumulation, many team members and managers vent out in their daily team meetings. Whether it’s work problems, family struggle, or mental health, they find it therapeutic to unload it to others.

This kind of venting, however, can be stressful for others, especially if they are being forced to listen. Negative ranting wears down the listener and uses up the emotional bandwidth, making them anxious.

‘My Manager’s Venting Is Stressing Me Out’

thecut.com

Preserve your sanity in a VC meeting by these methods:

  • Introduce ground rules in the meeting requesting it to be free of negative talk, on the pretext of detoxing the audience/team members and improving their mental health.
  • Intentionally keep things positive, promoting sharing of positive things and ending the meeting on a high note, so that the negative is by default kept out, without pinpointing it.
  • In case a higher-up or a boss is the one with the negative talk, one can bite the bullet and request the person personally and politely to stop or reduce the negative banter.
A Central Management Tool

Physical presence does play a large part in moving our projects forward. Managing a project remotely requires a diligent and transparent approach to keep track and maintain the various tasks, deadlines and processes.

It's important to deploy a project management tool, assigning each different task to all the team members. Have regular check-ins and status update meetings. Having a singular place for distributing information ensures that team members do not complain that they were not updated or didn’t know where the specific file was.

What To Do When Remote Projects Go Awry - Ambition & Balance

doist.com

Creating accountability is a great way to manage the work remotely. Accountability is shifted to the teammates, who are now supposed to be responsible for their own work and decisions.

One way to build accountability in remote teams is to assign groups and let teammates hold each other responsible. Also make teammates share their work experience and any issues they face, publicly (within the team) so that it acts as a ready solution for others, reducing repeat work.

Even if the team is small, document, formalize and map each process, making it scalable and automatic.

Standard Operating Procedures, if used correctly in a remote setting, can act like a central nervous system.

Open channels of communication are imperative in managing remote work. Effective communication is the single most important part of handling a remote setting, and is also the most challenging.

Use your favourite software, like Slack or Microsoft Teams and ensure that everyone adheres to the same.

Asynchronous communication happens when you are not forced to respond to each and every ‘ping’ in real time. Its benefits:

  • Communication becomes less ‘urgent’. It makes for less firefighting and more ‘deep work'.
  • Conversations are meaningful and are not ‘hurried’.
  • Quick movement of teams.
  • More transparency.
  • Less work stress.
  1. Allow Offline work, so that team members do some real work.
  2. Use the right communication tool.
  3. Minimize status meetings, as they are mostly a waste of time.
  4. Make Transparency the default setting.
  5. Overcommunicate to make sure all the pieces of information are in place and known to all.
  6. Adapt, as you grow in scale, as what is working for 5 people won’t work for 500.

Trusting your remote coworkers is the only way for it to succeed. Trust the employees and use empathy. Do not assume the worst.

To avoid any communication breakdown, always overcommunicate and ensure questions are asked and answered.

If there is no response to a request, it is crucial to figure out if everything is ok, after a stipulated amount of time( according to the urgency of the task). Many people can feel isolated and as monotony sets in, some can withdraw or stop contributing.

Regular interaction can minimize the ‘no response’ problem. Setting up partners to look after each other for a project completion is also a great way to ensure productivity.

Multiple complex projects require juggling of conflicting priorities, making it a challenge to meet deadlines, and separating urgent work from important work.

The way to look at priorities is to step back and see a birds eye view of the overall objective that is to be achieved. Add resources or delegate as needed.

When building a strong team, managers should take into account several aspects, such as providing a clear plan about the objectives and how to reach them or establishing a so-called 'shared scoreboard' which everyone in the team can use to evaluate their success. 

The manager can often find himself or herself repeating several times the rules, in order to ensure the team's consistency- and that is alright, as it is necessary to get people used to belonging to the team.

How to Build a Successful Team

nytimes.com

Once you have set your mind on building a strong team, you should find a way to create a set of rules that is specific only to your team, what can be then called the team culture. Make sure team members understand and obey the chosen rules.

Respect is essential within a community. The same applies to teams: as a manager, you should make sure your team members feel respected and confident enough to want to do their best when working. 

Furthermore, as a leader, it is your duty to make everybody understand and apply the same politics within your team.

Your main task as a manager is to keep up the good work. In order to ensure this, you should make sure that each and every team member takes full responsibility for their actions. 

Remember everybody that rules have been created for a good reason and that, therefore, they ought to stick to them.

Whenever something is going wrong inside your team, make sure to let people know about it, as allowing issues to gather up can only have a negative effect. However, you might want to pay attention to the way your message is being delivered, in order to not make things worse. 

Overall, speaking your mind by any communication means is extremely important, as long as you keep an eye on the way the message is being delivered.

Our culture claims that work is unavoidable and natural. The idea that the world can be freed from work, wholly or in part, has been suppressed for as long as capitalism has existed.

Post-work: the radical idea of a world without jobs

theguardian.com

  • In 1885, socialist William Morris proposed that in the factories of the future, employees should work only four hours a day.
  • In 1930, John Maynard Keynes predicted that advances in technology would lead to an age of leisure where people might work 15 hours a week.
  • Since the early 2010s, these ideas have been developed further, creating a growing critique of work as an ideology, and exploring alternatives to work.
  • Post-work offers enormous promises: In a life of much less work, life would be calmer, more equal, more communal, more pleasurable, more thoughtful, more politically engaged, more fulfilled.

The work ideology is not natural nor very old.

  • Before the modern era, all cultures thought of work as a means to an end, not an end in itself.
  • Once the modern work ethic was established, working patterns started to shift. Between 1800 and 1900, the average working week shrank from 80 hours to 60 hours, and in the 1970s to roughly 40 hours.
  • In 1979, Bernard Lefkowitz related in his book that people who had given up their jobs reported feelings of "wholeness." During the same period, because wages were high enough, it became possible for most people to work less.
  • During the 80s, work ideology was reimposed by aggressively pro-business governments who were motivated by a desire for social control.
  • By the early 21st century, the work culture seems inescapable.

    The work culture has many critics now. 

    Ideas that are challenged are the assumptions of modern employers. Another is the American notion that the solution to any problem is to work harder. In the UK, the extent of the work's crises is raised. In France in 2000, a 35-hour week for all employees was introduced with the slogan, "Work less - live more."

    Post-workists, like David Graeber, argue that the absence of work would produce a richer culture. With people having more time, private life could also become more communal like ‘Red Vienna’ in the early 20th century, when the city government built housing estates with communal laundries, workshops, and shared living spaces that were quite luxurious.

    People might at first be unable to organize their unstructured free time, but our capacity for things other than work can be build up again.

    Part of the appeal of a post-work society is that it is meant to resolve conflicts between different economic interest groups, in the hope that exploitation can finally be ended.

    The role of work has changed before and will change again. In some ways, we're already in a post-work society, albeit a dystopic one.

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