The most common mistake people make is <a href="https://www.inc.com/peter-economy/9-ways-amazing-leaders-demonstrate-real-authenticity-every-day.html">to confuse their self-worth with their accomplishments.</a>

Never confuse who you are with what you do

What you say to yourself matters more than what the entire world together says about you.

Master your inner dialogue

When the storms of life start tossing you around like a toy, you need an anchor--something you can cling to when all seems hopeless.

Learn to live in the moment

Find the handful of people who will support you no matter what, invest your time and energy in strengthening those relationships.

Fortify your village, then build a moat

The time to "hurricane proof" your life isn't when the shingles start to fly off the roof, but when the sky is still blue and sunny."Work on your self-image, inner dialogue, present-moment awareness, and key relationships now."

Be prepared, be prepared, be prepared

It's so easy to forget how you can maintain your mental health.  That's why I like these short bits of inspirational reminders.

Beating cancer made Yale Law grad Seun Adebiyi rethink his fast-paced life and become an entrepreneur.

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

mentalhealth

Mental Health

communication

Communication

Want to Build Unbeatable Mental Toughness? Here Are 5 Surprisingly Effective Ways

Fixed action patternsSuch patterns reduce brain strain by allowing us to act without thinking in every situation.This can also be used for duping us.<ul><li>Reciprocation</li><li>Commitment and consistency</li><li>Social proof</li><li>Liking</li><li>Authority</li><li>Scarcity</li></ul>Contrast principleWe perceive things which are presented one after the other differently than those shown in isolation.i.e. Cloth sellers will try to make the buyer buy the most expensive item on their list first.

Weapons of influence

We try to repay in kind, what another person has provided us.Creating an uninvited debt.i.e. Most people find it difficult to leave without buying anything after trying a free sample.Reciprocal concessioni.e. First make a request that will most likely be turned down, next make a second request as a concession.We feel more responsible and satisfied after agreeing to a concession.

Reciprocation

Once we have made up our minds, we don’t have to think about it again.We are more consistent in our commitment if we believe that we did it for our purpose rather than external pressure.Ask yourself, “Would I make the same choice again?”

Commitment and consistency

The more the number of people doing it, the more we believe that the behavior is correct.<ul><li>Canned laughter</li><li>Tip jars</li></ul>To prevent falling for this you should recognize when the social proof is deliberately faked.

Social proof

What causes liking?<ul><li>Physical attractiveness – positive characteristic of a person dominates how others view that person</li><li>Similarity – We like people who are like us</li><li>Compliments – We are phenomenal suckers of flattery</li><li>Contact and cooperation – Familiarity with someone plays a role in our decision making. and produces greater liking</li><li>Conditioning and association – People do assume that we have the same personality traits as our friends</li></ul>If you like the requester, do not automatically like the request.

Liking

We obey authorities mindlessly in a lot of cases:<ul><li>Titles</li><li>Clothes and other outward appearances</li></ul>Ask yourself, “is this authority truly an expert?”

Authority

The thought of losing something motivates us more than the idea of gaining something of similar value.We believe that things that are difficult to own are usually better than things that are easy to hold.i.e. The passion of an indifferent lover surges when a rival comes in.

Scarcity

Expert tips on how to tap into the human psyche and turn potential customers into actual ones

books

Books

business

Business

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

How to Sell Anything

The foundational and wildly popular go-to resource for influence and persuasion—a renowned international bestseller, with over 5 million copies sold—now revised adding: new research, new insights, new examples, and online applications. In the new edition of this highly acclaimed bestseller, Robert Cialdini—New York Times bestselling author of Pre-Suasion and the seminal expert in the fields of influence and persuasion—explains the psychology of why people say yes and how to apply these insights ethically in business and everyday settings. Using memorable stories and relatable examples, Cialdini makes this crucially important subject surprisingly easy. With Cialdini as a guide, you don’t have to be a scientist to learn how to use this science. You’ll learn Cialdini’s Universal Principles of Influence, including new research and new uses so you can become an even more skilled persuader—and just as importantly, you’ll learn how to defend yourself against unethical influence attempts. You may think you know these principles, but without understanding their intricacies, you may be ceding their power to someone else. Cialdini’s Principles of Persuasion: Reciprocation Commitment and Consistency Social Proof Liking Authority Scarcity Unity, the newest principle for this edition Understanding and applying the principles ethically is cost-free and deceptively easy. Backed by Dr. Cialdini’s 35 years of evidence-based, peer-reviewed scientific research—including a three-year field study on what leads people to change—Influence is a comprehensive guide to using these principles to move others in your direction.

The foundational and wildly popular go-to resource for influence and persuasion—a renowned international bestseller, with over 5 million copies sold—now revised adding: new research, new insights, new examples, and online applications.In the new edition of this highly acclaimed bestseller, Robert Cialdini—New York Times bestselling author of Pre-Suasion and the seminal expert in the fields of influence and persuasion—explains the psychology of why people say yes and how to apply these insights ethically in business and everyday settings. Using memorable stories and relatable examples, Cialdini makes this crucially important subject surprisingly easy. With Cialdini as a guide, you don’t have to be a scientist to learn how to use this science. You’ll learn Cialdini’s Universal Principles of Influence, including new research and new uses so you can become an even more skilled persuader—and just as importantly, you’ll learn how to defend yourself against unethical influence attempts. You may think you know these principles, but without understanding their intricacies, you may be ceding their power to someone else. Cialdini’s Principles of Persuasion: <ul><li>Reciprocation</li><li>Commitment and Consistency</li><li>Social Proof </li><li>Liking </li><li>Authority</li><li>Scarcity</li><li>Unity, the newest principle for this edition</li></ul>Understanding and applying the principles ethically is cost-free and deceptively easy. Backed by Dr. Cialdini’s 35 years of evidence-based, peer-reviewed scientific research—including a three-year field study on what leads people to change—Influence is a comprehensive guide to using these principles to move others in your direction.

Robert B. Cialdini, PhD is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Robert B. Cialdini, PhD has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Robert B. Cialdini, PhD's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Robert B. Cialdini, PhD

Influence, New and Expanded

Nowadays, people worry about a “desert scenario,” where no new particles will be found for many decades to come, if ever.This point of view is wrong.The first two decades of this century have been pretty successful for physics:<ol><li>the discovery of the Higgs particle</li><li>the detection of gravitational waves</li><li>the first image of a black hole</li></ol>95 Percent of the universe is missing. The aim of physics is to understand in a precise, mathematical way all manifestation of matter and energy in the universe.

Is physics finished? 

Physics can use itself to produce new fundamental insights.upside-down view of physicsFirst design a new law and then reverse engineer a system that actually displays the phenomena.A shift in the very scope of science — from studying what is to what could be<ul><li>In the 20th century, scientists sought out the building blocks of reality</li><li>This century, we explore all there is to be made with these building blocks</li></ul>Nature’s agonizingly slow process of discovery is accelerated to breakneck speeds in the laboratory.Science also concerns the phenomena created in our laboratories and in our heads.

Future of Physics

Has physics reached the limits of what we can discover — or are the possibilities only just beginning?

scienceandnature

Science & Nature

Contemplating the End of Physics

<h3>Principles</h3><ol><li>Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.</li><li>Give honest and sincere appreciation.</li><li>Arouse in the other person an eager want.</li></ol><h3>Attitude: Empathy</h3>Being empathetic is a deeper, more visceral and emotional response than mere sympathy. Sympathy is to feel something for someone, but empathy means to feel it with them.Empathy is a powerful tool both for understanding people around you, but also making them feel understood. When people feel understood, they can relax their defensive desire to fight for status or rightness, and genuinely open themselves to then understanding you.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

<h3>Principles</h3><ol><li>Be genuinely interested in other people</li><li>Smile</li><li>Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language</li><li>Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves</li><li>Talk in terms of the other person's interest</li><li>Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely</li></ol><h3>Attitude: Selflessness</h3>Selflessness is considering another person’s needs and desires before your own. Focusing on others means choosing to value their needs as if they were your own, which leads them to feel valued and ultimately to value you for the way you make them feel.

Six Ways to Make People Like You

<h3>Principles:</h3><ol><li>The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it</li><li>Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're wrong."</li><li>If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically</li><li>Begin in a friendly way</li><li>Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes</li><li>Let the other person do a great deal of the talking</li><li>Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers</li><li>Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view</li><li>Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires</li></ol>Attitude: CollaborationBy being collaborative you can align with each other’s interests.

How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

<h3>Principles:</h3><ol><li>Begin with praise and honest appreciation</li><li>Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly</li><li>Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person</li><li>Ask questions instead of giving direct orders</li><li>Let the other person save face</li><li>Praise every improvement</li><li>Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to</li><li>Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct</li><li>Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest</li></ol><h3>Attitude: Respect</h3>Respect is a reflection of their perceived identity as a whole, a sort of sum total of how much they are valued.

Be a Leader

In the present book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie says, "You can make someone want to do what you want them to do by seeing the situation from the other person's point of view and arousing in the other person an eager want." You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offense or arousing resentment. For instance, "let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers" and "talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person." This book is all about building relationships. With good relationships, personal and business successes are easy and swift to achieve.

Updated for today’s readers, Dale Carnegie’s timeless bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People is a classic that has improved and transformed the professional and personal and lives of millions. One of the best-known motivational guides in history, Dale Carnegie’s groundbreaking book has sold tens of millions of copies, been translated into almost every known language, and has helped countless people succeed. Originally published during the depths of the Great Depression—and equally valuable during booming economies or hard times—Carnegie’s rock-solid, time-tested advice has carried countless people up the ladder of success in their professional and personal lives. How to Win Friends and Influence People teaches you: -How to communicate effectively -How to make people like you -How to increase your ability to get things done -How to get others to see your side -How to become a more effective leader -How to successfully navigate almost any social situation -And so much more! Achieve your maximum potential with this updated version of a classic—a must-read for the 21st century.

Dale Carnegie was an American writer and lecturer, and the developer of courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills.

Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends and Influence People

How to Win Friends and Influence People

<blockquote>“If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.”</blockquote>From bosses’ demands, plans and commitments, familial obligations, and friends in need, to text messages, emails, calendar invites, and day-to-day news, it is dangerously easy to fall prey to the illusion that these things control our time.&nbsp;We cannot control the events of circumstance, but we are always in control of our response. We are free to choose the destination to which we want to aim our lives.

Responsibility - From “I have to” to ...

<blockquote>&nbsp;“It’s much easier to do good things than the right thing.”</blockquote>We are free to choose what we want and where we aim to be. Charting our course means recognizing which choices will actually bring us closer to our destination. Learn to recognize what is important by understanding:<ul><li>our values</li><li>what matters most to us</li><li>where our time and energy is best invested</li></ul>There is only a narrow set of choises that will truly move us forward towards our most meaningful life.Proactively measure the meaningfulness of your activities by placing yourself in the future as you weigh your deepest values.

Values - From “It’s all important” to ...

<blockquote>“Every ‘yes’ equals a thousand ‘no’s’.”</blockquote>Deciding where you are going and what is most important means also deciding what is unimportant and where is not worth going. To move in any direction is to move away from others.To say ‘yes’ to any real choice is an action and trying to do everything accomplishes nothing. We need to learn to admit which desires are incompatible in light of what is important.If we’re serious about getting what we want, we must confront and be willing to pay the price of sacrifice.Accept the reality of trade-offs and ask the question ‘Which problem do I want to solve?’

Sacrifice - From “I can do both” to ...

"Have you ever found yourself stretched too thin? Do you simultaneously feel overworked and underutilized? Are you often busy but not productive? Do you feel your time is constantly being hijacked by other people's agendas? If you answered yes to any of these questions, the way out is the way of the Essentialist. Essentialism isn't about getting more done in less time. It's about getting only the right things done. Only once we discern what is absolutely essential and eliminate everything else can we make our highest possible contribution toward things that truly matter. By forcing us to apply more selective criteria for where to spend our precious time and energy, the disciplined pursuit of less empowers us to reclaim control of our own choices, instead of giving others the implicit permission to choose for us. Essentialism is not one more thing to do. It's a whole new way of doing less, but better, in every area of our lives"--Back cover.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • More than one million copies sold! Essentialism isn’t about getting more done in less time. It’s about getting only the right things done.   Featuring the new Essentialism 21-Day Challenge • “A timely, essential read for anyone who feels overcommitted, overloaded, or overworked.”—Adam Grant   Have you ever: • found yourself stretched too thin? • simultaneously felt overworked and underutilized? • felt busy but not productive? • felt like your time is constantly being hijacked by other people’s agendas?   If you answered yes to any of these, the way out is the Way of the Essentialist.    Essentialism is more than a time-management strategy or a productivity technique. It is a systematic discipline for discerning what is absolutely essential, then eliminating everything that is not, so we can make the highest possible contribution toward the things that really matter.   By forcing us to apply more selective criteria for what is Essential, the disciplined pursuit of less empowers us to reclaim control of our own choices about where to spend our precious time and energy—instead of giving others the implicit permission to choose for us.   Essentialism is not one more thing—it’s a whole new way of doing everything. It’s about doing less, but better, in every area of our lives. Essentialism is a movement whose time has come.

Greg McKeown is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Greg McKeown has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Greg McKeown's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Greg McKeown

Essentialism

SummaryThe tendency to divide things into distinct and often opposing groups and imagine/project some sort of gap between them (e.g. us and them).FactfulnessThe world is better understood by imagining data distributions on a bell-curve rather than as a series of opposing polarities - the majority (and accurate perception) usually exists in the middle, not as warring opposites. Polarizing our view of the world can foster an “us versus them” mentality that spills into our actions and imagines a separation “them” and “us” that in fact, does not truly exist.

The Gap Instinct 

SummaryThe tendency to notice/emphasize the negatives over positives (or in evolutionary terms, threats versus opportunities - e.g. believing that things are getting worse when they may actually be getting better).FactfulnessRecognize that the media machine feeding us news prioritizes negativity by nature, but that doesn’t mean the nature of things is negative. Like with the first instinct above, the truth is most often found somewhere in the middle.

The Negativity Instinct

SummaryThe tendency to believe that things will continue as they have before.FactfulnessAcknowledge that many things will change over time and pay attention to data that may protect you from falsely believing that some aspect of your life will continue as it has before.

The Straight Line Instinct

SummaryThe tendency to pay more attention to “frightening” things.Factfulness<ul><li>Risks should be calculated, not avoided. There is no way to eliminate risk without negating opportunity. In the same way, if we let our fear steer us we will miss many positive due to miscalculating situations.</li><li>Unbalanced, fear can lead to panic, and panic only increases risk. Don’t allow fear or scary things to overwhelm your perspective, and recognize if you are afraid and factor that into your calculations of how you act.</li></ul>

The Fear Instinct

SummaryThe tendency to perceive things out of proportion (especially when isolated numbers seem impressive).FactfulnessThere are two critical tools for properly contextualizing your perception: Comparing and Dividing. Compare your data and numbers with different numbers, data, and sources to gain a more accurate approximation. Dividing allows you to examine rates and ratios, and rates are often more meaningful, especially when comparing groups of different size or scale.

The Size Instinct

SummaryThe tendency to generalize by categories.FactfulnessCultivate a habit of questioning your categories and noticing differences that can provide data for a new and refined understanding of things and groups.

The Generalization Instinct

SummaryThe tendency to believe that (much like the Straight Line Instinct) that seemingly innate and past characteristics determine the “destiny” of people, things, groups, institutions, or cultures and that they will remain the same.Factfulness:<ul><li>If things seem like they’re not changing fast enough, the same rules from the Size Instinct apply: Comparing and divide</li><li>Talk to Grandpa - Simply asking about what things were like only two generations ago will surprise you with how much change is felt.</li><li>Update your knowledge - Some information changes more quickly than others.</li></ul>

The Destiny Instinct

SummaryThe tendency to prefer simple explanations and solutions and miss differing perspectives, angles and complexities.FactfulnessFactfulness involves recognizing that we cannot develop the best perspective without accounting for others. Our ideas should be tested and refined but different angles, data, and opinions.

The Single Perspective 

SummaryThe tendency to seek simple and clear reasons for why a bad thing occurs.Factfulness:<ul><li>Look for causes, not villains - When things go amiss, it’s almost always symptomatic of more complex issues than any one individual. Recognize that bad things occur always, and that your energy is best directed towards solving the deeper, intricate and interacting reasons underneath the surface.</li><li>Look for systems, not heroes - When something consistently works well, it is often because there is a system supporting and facilitating individuals more than any one person’s heroics.</li></ul>

The Blame Instinct

SummaryThe tendency to take immediate actions in response to perceived danger or threats, and in doing so, amplify our other instincts.FactfulnessUrgency can be helpful, but it can also amplify all of our other biases, instincts, and reactions and lead us to make mistakes in panic. When urgency clouds your thinking, take a deep breath, examine the data, think analytically, and beware of predictions that fail to account for uncertainty and complexity.

The Urgency Instinct

INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER “One of the most important books I’ve ever read—an indispensable guide to thinking clearly about the world.” – Bill Gates “Hans Rosling tells the story of ‘the secret silent miracle of human progress’ as only he can. But Factfulness does much more than that. It also explains why progress is so often secret and silent and teaches readers how to see it clearly.” —Melinda Gates "Factfulness by Hans Rosling, an outstanding international public health expert, is a hopeful book about the potential for human progress when we work off facts rather than our inherent biases." - Former U.S. President Barack Obama Factfulness: The stress-reducing habit of only carrying opinions for which you have strong supporting facts. When asked simple questions about global trends—what percentage of the world’s population live in poverty; why the world’s population is increasing; how many girls finish school—we systematically get the answers wrong. So wrong that a chimpanzee choosing answers at random will consistently outguess teachers, journalists, Nobel laureates, and investment bankers. In Factfulness, Professor of International Health and global TED phenomenon Hans Rosling, together with his two long-time collaborators, Anna and Ola, offers a radical new explanation of why this happens. They reveal the ten instincts that distort our perspective—from our tendency to divide the world into two camps (usually some version of us and them) to the way we consume media (where fear rules) to how we perceive progress (believing that most things are getting worse). Our problem is that we don’t know what we don’t know, and even our guesses are informed by unconscious and predictable biases. It turns out that the world, for all its imperfections, is in a much better state than we might think. That doesn’t mean there aren’t real concerns. But when we worry about everything all the time instead of embracing a worldview based on facts, we can lose our ability to focus on the things that threaten us most. Inspiring and revelatory, filled with lively anecdotes and moving stories, Factfulness is an urgent and essential book that will change the way you see the world and empower you to respond to the crises and opportunities of the future. --- “This book is my last battle in my life-long mission to fight devastating ignorance...Previously I armed myself with huge data sets, eye-opening software, an energetic learning style and a Swedish bayonet for sword-swallowing. It wasn’t enough. But I hope this book will be.” Hans Rosling, February 2017.

INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER “One of the most important books I’ve ever read—an indispensable guide to thinking clearly about the world.” – Bill Gates “Hans Rosling tells the story of ‘the secret silent miracle of human progress’ as only he can. But Factfulness does much more than that. It also explains why progress is so often secret and silent and teaches readers how to see it clearly.” —Melinda Gates "Factfulness by Hans Rosling, an outstanding international public health expert, is a hopeful book about the potential for human progress when we work off facts rather than our inherent biases." - Former U.S. President Barack Obama Factfulness: The stress-reducing habit of only carrying opinions for which you have strong supporting facts. When asked simple questions about global trends—what percentage of the world’s population live in poverty; why the world’s population is increasing; how many girls finish school—we systematically get the answers wrong. So wrong that a chimpanzee choosing answers at random will consistently outguess teachers, journalists, Nobel laureates, and investment bankers. In Factfulness, Professor of International Health and global TED phenomenon Hans Rosling, together with his two long-time collaborators, Anna and Ola, offers a radical new explanation of why this happens. They reveal the ten instincts that distort our perspective—from our tendency to divide the world into two camps (usually some version of us and them) to the way we consume media (where fear rules) to how we perceive progress (believing that most things are getting worse). Our problem is that we don’t know what we don’t know, and even our guesses are informed by unconscious and predictable biases. It turns out that the world, for all its imperfections, is in a much better state than we might think. That doesn’t mean there aren’t real concerns. But when we worry about everything all the time instead of embracing a worldview based on facts, we can lose our ability to focus on the things that threaten us most. Inspiring and revelatory, filled with lively anecdotes and moving stories, Factfulness is an urgent and essential book that will change the way you see the world and empower you to respond to the crises and opportunities of the future. --- “This book is my last battle in my life-long mission to fight devastating ignorance...Previously I armed myself with huge data sets, eye-opening software, an energetic learning style and a Swedish bayonet for sword-swallowing. It wasn’t enough. But I hope this book will be.” Hans Rosling, February 2017.

Hans Rosling (1948 – 2017) was a Swedish physician, academic, statistician, and public speaker.He was the Professor of International Health at Karolinska Institute and was the co-founder and chairman of the Gapminder Foundation, which developed the Trendalyzer software. He held presentations around the world, including several TED Talks in which he promoted the use of data to explore development issues.

Hans Rosling

Ola Rosling is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Ola Rosling has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Ola Rosling's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Ola Rosling

Anna Rosling Rönnlund is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Anna Rosling Rönnlund has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Anna Rosling Rönnlund's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Want to Build Unbeatable Mental Toughness? Here Are 5 Surprisingly Effective Ways

Influence, New and Expanded

Contemplating the End of Physics

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Essentialism

Tom Swerts