... without making enemies:
<ul>
<li>Make sure you communicate you are not there to fight (using your tone of voice, for example).</li>
<li>Avoid making statements; instead, ask questions.</li>
<li>Defend yourself with confidence, but without coming across as antagonistic.</li>
</ul>

Win Arguments

<div>When the conversation gets heated, we tend to raise our voices and talk faster. This is a dangerous path because now the ability of both sides to change their minds is close to zero. We dig even deeper into our initial positions and beliefs and no matter how good an argument is, it is not going to be received by the other side.</div>You can sense this happening when people rush to talk over one another.

Raising Your Voice

<ul>
<li>Slowing things down: take a deep breath before speaking, to create a pause, to reduce the tension and to open up the other person to your position.</li>
<li>Inflections: upward inflections are good for de-escalating conflict because they show you are not there to control and command.</li>
<li>The ability to crack a joke and the ability to take a joke and laugh make you more persuasive, give the impression of being on the same side and release the tension.</li>
</ul>

Releasing Tension

<div class="insight_content">When having arguments, avoid making statements and use questions instead. These tend to come across as less confrontational. Examples of questions:</div><ul><li>Genuine questions to better understand the other position. After you receive and answer to them, state back to the other person, in your own words, their beliefs, to confirm you actually get it.</li><li>Questions aimed at the inconsistencies of the other part, but in a non-accusatory way.</li></ul>

Asking Questions

When you're in the middle of an argument, frame your disagreements in the form of questions.
This gives the other person a chance to respond without feeling cornered and threatened.

The Socratic Method

<div>Use the " Yes, but..." technique: find agreement and follow your agreement up by showing when you disagree.</div>Finding any form of agreement is crucial in winning an argument, even if your position if perfectly logical. But you have to know exactly when you agree with someone (regarding which parts of their position) and when you don't.

Defending Yourself

<ul>
<li>In every argument, you are not necessarily right.</li>
<li>Adjusting your beliefs in the face of evidence does not diminish you.</li>
<li>If you did your part of trying to understand the other position and they are still wrong, this is never because they are evil, but because they are ignorant to a certain extent.</li>
</ul>

The Right Mindset

<div>"I don't want to destroy you. I want to engage with you. And I think ... if you have ideas you believe in, you should be willing to engage or you should be willing to test those ideas against somebody that you don't agree with."  </div>

Check out our podcast: https://bit.ly/2HkV85n Want to start a Global Language channel? Apply here: https://www.charismaoncommand.com/ytflc/ Subscribe to Charisma On Command’s YouTube Account: http://bit.ly/COC-Subscribe Sometimes arguments can get heated and spiral out of control. So while we all want to win an argument, not making an enemy in the process can be even more important. Which is why today we’ll be looking at Trevor Noah and what you can learn from him about coming out of verbal scruffs not only on top, but looking cool calm and collected. ⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰ 0:28 - #1: Sub-communicate that you're not there for a fight. 3:46 - #2: Ask questions instead of making statements. 6:39 - #3: Confidently defend yourself without coming across as antagonistic. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- #TrevorNoah #CharismaOnCommand -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Connect with us further: Website: http://www.charismaoncommand.com Facebook: http://facebook.com/charismaoncommand Instagram: @CharismaOnCommand Or if you want to see our personal stuff: Instagram: @CharlieHoupert Instagram: @IamBenAltman

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

Join 14,000+ members at Charisma University! https://www.charismaoncommand.com/c-university/

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Sometimes arguments can get heated and spiral out of control. So while we all want to win an argument, not making an enemy in the process can be even more important. 
 
Which is why today we’ll be looking at Trevor Noah and what you can learn from him about coming out of verbal scruffs not only on top, but looking cool calm and collected.
 
 
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰ 
 
0:28 - #1: Sub-communicate that you're not there for a fight.
3:46 - #2: Ask questions instead of making statements.
6:39 - #3: Confidently defend yourself without coming across as antagonistic.
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 #TrevorNoah #CharismaOnCommand
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 
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How To Be Stoic During An Argument

How To Win An Argument Without Making Enemies

85 % of millionaires read at least two books per months.So, as cliche as it sounds, people who read, succeed.

Read your way to success

<ol><li>Implementation intention: this basically means setting an appointment to read.</li><li>Chunking: It means to break down a big task (your book) into smaller, manageable parts.</li><li>Temptation bundling: it happens when we associate a tasks we dislike with something we enjoy.</li></ol>

Psychological tricks to start reading

The biggest problem with reading is the starting point, actually starting to read - we buy tons on books for "later" and we never read them.By physically scheduling a time and place for starting to read, you're setting an appoint to do so. And we tend to respect our appointments.

1. Implementation intention for reading

One of the main reasons we start reading books and never finish them is the fact that those books seem too big and intimidating.When you break down a book and measure your progress by its chapters, your brain will no longer see it as a huge obstacle you have to overcome.

2. Chunking your book

Tell yourself that after every chapter you read, you are going to reward yourself with the next episode of the show you like.After doing so for a while, you will start to actually like reading, because your brain will associate it with something pleasant.

3. Temptation bundling

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problemsolving

Problem Solving

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Productivity

books

Books

Go to http://audible.com/improvementpill or text "improvementpill" to 500 500 to get: One FREE audiobook + Two FREE Audible Originals + a 30-day free trial! 

Everyone knows that reading increases your chances of succeeding in life, yet most people don't do it. So today I'm going to show you exactly how to read a book a week so that you can improve your own life at a faster pace. Challenge yourself to read more books if you really want to see change.

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Improvement Pill

How To Read A Book A Week - 3 PROVEN Tricks

How To Read A Book A Week - 3 Proven Tricks

Without writing, it's pretty hard to capture and freeze your thinking, so that you can sharpen it: for example, observing when you're using words that are not well defined or when you're saying things that don't need to be said.

Sharpening your thinking

An easy way of getting into the habit of writing, of moving a pen with the aim of seeing your thinking on paper, is starting the practice of Morning Pages (3 pages of stream of consciousness).
It helps you by taking your worries and negative thoughts from your head and putting them in a freeze-frame (so that you can go along with the rest of your day) and it also allows you to see when you are dull or sharp in your thinking.

Morning pages

... for revising your writing:
<ul>
<li>The first edit is for yourself (what you like and what you think is good)</li>
<li>The second round is for the people that like what you write ( the people you think will like your material)</li>
<li>The third round is for the critics (for the people that try to find the smallest mistakes in your material).</li>
</ul>

The "3 rounds" technique

<ul>
<li>Aim to choose people that are not trained to proofread and ask them to highlight the stuff they find confusing.</li>
<li>Ask them to note the moment when their minds start to wander while they're reading your material. Opt to take those parts out.</li>
<li>Ask them to indicate the 10% of your writing that you should absolutely keep (if there is a 10% that is worth keeping).</li>
<li>Ask them which parts they would cut off (10-20%) if they had to cut something.</li>
</ul>

Using proofreaders

"People can like what you write, they can dislike it, they can love it, they can hate it, but it should not confuse anybody."

Tim Ferriss on how writing can sharpen and improve your thinking. SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/1dSzTkW About Tim Ferriss: Tim Ferriss is one of Fast Company’s “Most Innovative Business People” and an early-stage tech investor/advisor in Uber, Facebook, Twitter, Shopify, Duolingo, Alibaba, and 50+ other companies. He is also the author of five #1 New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestsellers: The 4-Hour Workweek, The 4-Hour Body, The 4-Hour Chef, Tools of Titans and Tribe of Mentors. The Observer and other media have named him “the Oprah of audio” due to the influence of his podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show, which has exceeded 400 million downloads and been selected for “Best of iTunes” three years running. Connect with Tim Ferriss: Sign up for "5-Bullet Friday" (Tim's email newsletter): https://go.tim.blog/5-bullet-friday-1/ Visit the Tim Ferriss PODCAST: https://tim.blog/podcast/ Visit the Tim Ferriss BLOG: https://tim.blog/ Follow Tim Ferriss on TWITTER: https://twitter.com/tferriss/ Follow Tim Ferriss on INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/timferriss/ Like Tim Ferriss on FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TimFerriss/

communication

Communication

Tim Ferriss on how writing can sharpen and improve your thinking. | Take 10 seconds and sign up for my free "5-Bullet Friday" newsletter: https://go.tim.blog/5-bullet-friday-yt/​ Each Friday, you’ll get a short email from me with five things I've discovered that week, sending you off to your weekend with fun and useful things to ponder and try. 🙌

SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/1dSzTkW
 
About Tim Ferriss:
Tim Ferriss is one of Fast Company’s “Most Innovative Business People” and an early-stage tech investor/advisor in Uber, Facebook, Twitter, Shopify, Duolingo, Alibaba, and 50+ other companies. He is also the author of five #1 New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestsellers: The 4-Hour Workweek, The 4-Hour Body, The 4-Hour Chef, Tools of Titans and Tribe of Mentors. The Observer and other media have named him “the Oprah of audio” due to the influence of his podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show, which has exceeded 400 million downloads and been selected for “Best of iTunes” three years running.

Connect with Tim Ferriss:
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Tim Ferriss has been listed as one of Fast Company’s “Most Innovative Business People” and one of Fortune’s “40 under 40.” He is an early-stage technology investor/advisor (Uber, Facebook, Shopify, Duolingo, Alibaba, and 50+ others) and the author of five #1 New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestsellers, including The 4-Hour Workweek and Tools of Titans: The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers. The Observer and other media have called Tim “the Oprah of audio” due to the influence of The Tim Ferriss Show podcast, which is the first business/interview podcast to exceed 100 million downloads. It has now exceeded 800 million downloads. 

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Tim Ferriss

How to Use Writing to Sharpen Your Thinking | Tim Ferriss

Some of the reasons why we are not that good at friendships is the fact that we don't have a clear idea of what a really good friend might be like.
Maybe we should try to come up with a list of traits for an ideal friend, so as to focus our desires to acquire the sort of character we would want to find in others.

The image of a "good friend"

Good friends know how to show weakness. They let us know awkward and embarrassing things about themselves.
They show how much they trust us by confessing mistakes and hardships that have the potential to open them up to possible humiliation from the world beyond.

The gift of vulnerability

Good friends are genuinely interested in our hardships; they are not shocked by the odd and stupid things we've done.
They are not judgmental or critical of our weaknesses, because they are well aware of their own more troubled sides.

Embracing and understanding imperfection

Good friends are reassuring. They don't just flatter - they understand how easily we lose perspective, panic and underestimate our own abilities.
Sometimes, they get us to laugh at ourselves when we would be inclined to indulge in self-pity or rage.

The gift of reassurance

A good friend helps us build our self-understanding.
Good friends listen to us and help us piece together the best accounts of our fears and excitements. Because there are so many things we don't entirely comprehend about who we are.

Building self-understanding

We sometimes don't quite know what we think until a good friend asks us to expand on a thought, to explain why we adhere to it and to find possible objections for it.

Good friends help us think

They like us in ways we are not easily able to like ourselves.
Usually, we are more aware of our shortcomings than of our good parts. We need a friend because we are liable to be so very unfriendly towards ourselves.

Good friends help us to like ourselves

Strategies to meet new people and reconnect with old friends

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

How To Make Friends As An Adult

We all know how lovely friendship can be, but we seldom focus properly on what a good friend should actually be like. As a result, we miss out on opportunities to become precisely that sort of friend - and enrich the social lives of all those we meet. A short masterclass in the art of friendship. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2LayJ9F For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2OXCk1M Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://bit.ly/2RluXxC 2qkKvX6 FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2AApZYo “Some of the reason why we aren’t, collectively, so good at friendship, is that we don’t have a clear idea of what a really good friend might be like. It may therefore be worth trying to draw up a list of an ideal candidate, so as to focus our desires and spur us on to acquire the sort of character we would want to find in others…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Visit us in person at our London HQ: https://bit.ly/2Rq9vYw Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself You can submit translations and transcripts on all of our videos here: https://www.youtube.com/timedtext_cs_panel?c=UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog&tab=2 Find out how more here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6054623?hl=en-GB SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: 2qkKvX6 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Peter Caires https://vimeo.com/peterlikesthis #TheSchoolOfLife #Self #Friendship

We all know how lovely friendship can be, but we seldom focus properly on what a good friend should actually be like. As a result, we miss out on opportunities to become precisely that sort of friend - and enrich the social lives of all those we meet. A short masterclass in the art of friendship.
 Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2LayJ9F
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2qkKvX6

FURTHER READING

You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2AApZYo

“Some of the reason why we aren’t, collectively, so good at friendship, is that we don’t have a clear idea of what a really good friend might be like.
It may therefore be worth trying to draw up a list of an ideal candidate, so as to focus our desires and spur us on to acquire the sort of character we would want to find in others…”


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How to Be a Good Friend

<ul>
<li>Adjust your body language.</li>
<li>Learn to handle friendly teasing.</li>
<li>Tell your own embarrassing stories.</li>
<li>Let go of managing people's opinions of you.</li>
</ul>

Turn awkwardness into confidence

By simply adjusting your body language, you can improve both how you see yourself (thus, improving your self-confidence) and how other people see you.

Body language and self-confidence

Give everyone in your audience at least 3 seconds of continuous eye contact before moving to the next person. This is usually enough to make people feel included in a conversation.
The '3-second rule' is a great and simple way to engage your audience and convey a sense of ease with it, even when you're feeling nervous.

The '3-second rule' of eye contact

... and gesticulate while you're speaking.
Hiding your hands and palms usually signals to your audience that you are hiding something, thus making you look less trustworthy.
Using your hands also makes your stories and arguments seem more intriguing.

Show your palms

Embrace the awkward moment fully. By doing this, you show true confidence.
The fear of looking ridiculous and being judged by others freezes your emotions and expressions, amplifying your discomfort in front of others.

Commit to what you are expressing

<ul>
<li>Take up more space: this signals that you are not afraid to take control on a physical level and it shows increased confidence.</li>
<li>Laugh with the group: if you laugh with it, it goes away in most cases.</li>
<li>Double down on the joke: amplifying the joke puts you in control of the situation, shows your human side and spreads the laughter.</li>
</ul>

Handling friendly teasing

<ul>
<li>Show confident body language, especially if the story is self-deprecating.</li>
<li>Use high impact words, packed with emotions, to draw people's attention.</li>
<li>Embody the characters of the story (act like they would and match their voice and accent).</li>
</ul>

Telling your own embarrassing stories

99% of all awkward situations are made worse because you are trying to be perceived in a certain way by the others.
Stop managing people's opinions of you. Your confidence should not be based on those outside perceptions, but in recognizing that you are not perfect and liking yourself anyway.

People's perceptions of you

Check Out Charisma University: https://bit.ly/2XcFYEf Subscribe to Charisma On Command’s YouTube Account: http://bit.ly/COC-Subscribe Like it or not we have all been awkward at different points in our lives. Sometimes that awkwardness gets in the way of connecting with other people or even feeling confident in ourselves. Awkwardness doesn’t need to be the end of the line. In fact, if you handle yourself well you can turn awkwardness (whether it’s just a moment or a way of being) into confidence. Which is what we are covering in this video featuring Tom Holland. ⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰ 0:27 - Point #1: Adjust your body language. 4:05 - Point #2: Handle friendly teasing. 6:39 - Point #3: Tell your own embarrassing stories. 9:37 - Point #4: Let go of managing people’s opinion of you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- #TomHolland #CharismaOnCommand -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Connect With Us Further: Website: http://www.charismaoncommand.com Facebook: http://facebook.com/charismaoncommand Instagram: @CharismaOnCommand Or if you want to see our personal stuff (regular life + playing music): Instagram: @CharlieHoupert Instagram: @IamBenAltman

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Like it or not we have all been awkward at different points in our lives. Sometimes that awkwardness gets in the way of connecting with other people or even feeling confident in ourselves. Awkwardness doesn’t need to be the end of the line. In fact, if you handle yourself well you can turn awkwardness (whether it’s just a moment or a way of being) into confidence. Which is what we are covering in this video featuring Tom Holland.


⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰ 
0:27 - Point #1: Adjust your body language.
4:05 - Point #2: Handle friendly teasing.
6:39 - Point #3: Tell your own embarrassing stories.
9:37 - Point #4: Let go of managing people’s opinion of you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#TomHolland #CharismaOnCommand
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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How To Look Confident When You Feel Out Of Place

How To Turn Awkwardness Into Confidence

"The world is a narrow bridge and the important thing is to not be afraid" - Hebrew prayer.
The world we live in is uncertain and full of risks and it's easy to get scared and look down instead of looking forward. But if you peer over to the side of the bridge, you lose the motivation to continue, you freeze up and stop making good decisions.

Life as a narrow bridge

What does help in a situation in which you are scared: training, courage, discipline, commitment and calm.
From all of the above, courage is held by the stoics as the most essential virtue.

Fear won't help you

"It's not that astronauts are braver than other people. We're just meticulously prepared."

Astronauts face all kinds of difficult, very risky situations in space. And the margin for error is extremely tiny in those situations.
Astronaut Chris Hadfield says that the key in these difficult situations is to remind yourself that you are prepared, you gained your skills and there are things you can to make the situation better.

What preparation does

There is no problem so bad that you can't make it worse.
And that's the difference between being scared and being afraid - the latter prevents you from improving your situations and it may even make things worse.

Being scared vs being afraid

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed effort to convert retreat into advance."

Don't let your imagination be crushed by life as a whole. Don't try to picture everything bad that could possibly happen. Stick with the situation at hand, and ask, “Why is this so unbearable? Why can't I endure it?" You'll be embarrassed to answer.

Maybe you are facing a difficult conversation you’ve been putting off for months. Or you’re about to embark on a new project that tests you to your limits. Or it could be a job change, moving to a new city, starting a relationship—any of those can provoke fears and anxieties that pin you down and you can suddenly feel trapped before the situation even unfolds. It is a timeless truth that many of the things we worry about never come to happen. But our imaginary fears can have real consequences. Fear will cloud your reality, and like other extreme emotions such as anger, will cloud your vision and obscure what is really going on. The grips of fear can be paralyzing. To learn more about Stoicism, check out the Daily Stoic's FREE GUIDE to Stoic philosophy: https://dailystoic.com/freeguide Daily Stoic is a community built around the teachings of Stoicism. If you're wondering "What does Stoicism mean?", "Who was Marcus Aurelius?", "How to be a stoic?" or "How to practice stoicism in daily life?" check out Daily Stoic's FREE 7-Day Stoicism Starter Pack. This highly curated 7-Day Guide will expand your knowledge and provide actionable tools and ideas to make you stronger, more resilient and happier. Get the free guide here: https://dailystoic.com/freeguide Stoicism is a practical philosophy. The main thinkers that the Daily Stoic focuses on in stoicism are Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and Seneca. The Daily Stoic is a guide to how to practice Stoicism in your daily life, the daily routines of Stoicism, and is a practical guide to Stoicism. This channel is Stoicism 101, it will tell you what Stoicism is and how to be a Stoic. Ryan Holiday has been practicing stoicism and writing about stoicism for more than a decade and his insights will give you guidance to practicing stoicism in your day to day life. | STRENGTHEN THE COMMUNITY | A few things can help us get stoicism to more people and bring you more great content! 1. Like the video 2. Comment. We try to answer as many questions as possible in the comments! Also, if you have great stuff to share with other viewers we love to see people discussing these ideas! 3. Subscribe. The more subscribers, the more content we can make! https://tinyurl.com/dailystoicYT | SOCIALS | Facebook https://facebook.com/dailystoic Instagram https://instagram.com/dailystoic Twitter https://twitter.com/dailystoic Ryan Holiday has influenced the modern stoicism movement greatly. His books are read by modern stoicism's practitioners like Tim Ferriss, Robert Greene, and others. #Stoicism #DailyStoic #RyanHoliday #MementoMori #AmorFati #MarcusAurelius #StoicDaily #DailyRoutine #Improvement #Happiness #philosophy #Seneca

philosophy

Philosophy

Maybe you are facing a difficult conversation you’ve been putting off for months. Or you’re about to embark on a new project that tests you to your limits. Or it could be a job change, moving to a new city, starting a relationship—any of those can provoke fears and anxieties that pin you down and you can suddenly feel trapped before the situation even unfolds.  

It is a timeless truth that many of the things we worry about never come to happen. But our imaginary fears can have real consequences. Fear will cloud your reality, and like other extreme emotions such as anger, will cloud your vision and obscure what is really going on. The grips of fear can be paralyzing.

To learn more about Stoicism, check out the Daily Stoic's FREE GUIDE to Stoic philosophy: https://dailystoic.com/freeguide

Daily Stoic is a community built around the teachings of Stoicism. If you're wondering "What does Stoicism mean?", "Who was Marcus Aurelius?", "How to be a stoic?" or "How to practice stoicism in daily life?" check out Daily Stoic's FREE 7-Day Stoicism Starter Pack. This highly curated 7-Day Guide will expand your knowledge and provide actionable tools and ideas to make you stronger, more resilient and happier. 

Get the free guide here: https://dailystoic.com/freeguide

Stoicism is a practical philosophy.  The main thinkers that the Daily Stoic focuses on in stoicism are Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and Seneca. The Daily Stoic is a guide to how to practice Stoicism in your daily life, the daily routines of Stoicism, and is a practical guide to Stoicism. This channel is Stoicism 101, it will tell you what Stoicism is and how to be a Stoic. Ryan Holiday has been practicing stoicism and writing about stoicism for more than a decade and his insights will give you guidance to practicing stoicism in your day to day life.

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Ryan Holiday has influenced the modern stoicism movement greatly. His books are read by modern stoicism's practitioners like Tim Ferriss, Robert Greene, and others. 

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Stoicism for everyday life. 

For those of us who live our lives in the real world, there is one branch of philosophy created just for us: Stoicism. It’s a philosophy designed to make us more resilient, happier, more virtuous and more wise–and as a result, better people, better parents and better professionals. Stoicism has been a common thread though some of history’s great leaders...

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It's Ok To Be Scared. Just Don't Be AFRAID. | Stoic Motivation | Ryan Holiday

Stoic Motivation: It's Ok To Be Scared. Just Don't Be AFRAID.

It's what Tim Ferriss recommends in this ever-changing world. Being a specialized generalist means aiming to combine a few skills that are not usually combined.If you associate two valuable skills that are even more valuable together (for example, computer science and a law degree, or math and public speaking), you will have a competitive advantage that allows you to reach the top of the earning power.

Being a specialized generalist

Specialization makes sense when you know you can reach the top of the domain you are trying to excel in.If you want to specialize and become a basketball player, for example, you have to reach the top 0,001% to have phenomenal financial gains.

When specialization makes sense

Warren Buffett, the famous investor, stated that his most important investment was in Dale Carnegie's speaking course because being a good communicator (both in speech and in writing) highlights, even more, the other skills you happen to have.

Warren Buffett's best investment

This means to take the time and consider the projects you choose to pursue based on the skills and the relationships you will be able to develop that have the potential to last even after those projects will finish.Skills to consider: public speaking, writing, and negotiation. These are examples of marketable skills that can be transferred to other areas outside those particular projects.

Winning even if you fail

Should you specialize or be a generalist? | Sign up for Tim's free "5-Bullet Friday" newsletter: https://go.tim.blog/5-bullet-friday-yt/ SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/1dSzTkW About Tim Ferriss: Tim Ferriss is one of Fast Company’s “Most Innovative Business People” and an early-stage tech investor/advisor in Uber, Facebook, Twitter, Shopify, Duolingo, Alibaba, and 50+ other companies. He is also the author of five #1 New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestsellers: The 4-Hour Workweek, The 4-Hour Body, The 4-Hour Chef, Tools of Titans and Tribe of Mentors. The Observer and other media have named him “the Oprah of audio” due to the influence of his podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show, which has exceeded 400 million downloads and been selected for “Best of iTunes” three years running. Connect with Tim Ferriss: Sign up for "5-Bullet Friday" (Tim's email newsletter): https://go.tim.blog/5-bullet-friday-1/ Visit the Tim Ferriss PODCAST: https://tim.blog/podcast/ Visit the Tim Ferriss BLOG: https://tim.blog/ Follow Tim Ferriss on TWITTER: https://twitter.com/tferriss/ Follow Tim Ferriss on INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/timferriss/ Like Tim Ferriss on FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TimFerriss/

Should you specialize or be a generalist? | Sign up for Tim's free "5-Bullet Friday" newsletter: https://go.tim.blog/5-bullet-friday-yt/

SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/1dSzTkW
 
About Tim Ferriss:
Tim Ferriss is one of Fast Company’s “Most Innovative Business People” and an early-stage tech investor/advisor in Uber, Facebook, Twitter, Shopify, Duolingo, Alibaba, and 50+ other companies. He is also the author of five #1 New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestsellers: The 4-Hour Workweek, The 4-Hour Body, The 4-Hour Chef, Tools of Titans and Tribe of Mentors. The Observer and other media have named him “the Oprah of audio” due to the influence of his podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show, which has exceeded 400 million downloads and been selected for “Best of iTunes” three years running.

Connect with Tim Ferriss:
Sign up for "5-Bullet Friday" (Tim's email newsletter): https://go.tim.blog/5-bullet-friday-1/ 
Visit the Tim Ferriss PODCAST: https://tim.blog/podcast/
Visit the Tim Ferriss BLOG: https://tim.blog/
Follow Tim Ferriss on TWITTER: https://twitter.com/tferriss/
Follow Tim Ferriss on INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/timferriss/
Like Tim Ferriss on FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TimFerriss/

Should You Specialize or Be a Generalist? | Tim Ferriss

Should You Specialize or Be a Generalist?

Intelligence is a mechanism to solve problems (especially the ones related to survival). It includes the ability to gather knowledge, to learn, to be creative, to form strategies, or think critically.It manifests itself in a huge variety of behaviors.

What Intelligence Is

<ul><li>Not all scientists agree on what counts as intelligence.</li><li>We think of intelligence as a trait (like height or strength) but we find it difficult to define it.</li></ul>

The Difficult Process of Defining Intelligence

We can think of intelligence as a flexible set of skills: a toolbox. And the most basic tools in the intelligence toolbox are:<ul><li>The ability to gather information through senses, to navigate and react to the external world in the right way.</li><li>The ability to save information and to use it</li><li>The ability to learn.</li></ul>These tools enable creatures that appear to be stupid to act in surprisingly intelligent ways.

Intelligence As A Toolbox

Information is the basis of action for all living things.Without it, we are not able to control and predict our surroundings, or to react appropriately and flexibly to them.

Information: The Basis Of Action

Information is much more powerful if we can keep it and save it. This is where memory enters.Memory is the ability to save and recall information so we don't have to go back to square one every time we perceive something as important.

Memory: The Ability To Save And Recall Information

Learning is the process of putting together a sequence of thoughts and actions.It is a series of repeatable behaviors that can be diversified and adapted.

The Process Of Learning

<ul><li>Building on the basic tools, more complex living creatures have a wider range of problems they can solve: They can memorize different associations, connections, and mechanical moves and stratagems.</li><li>The more complex the problem, the more tools are needed in combination to solve it. The more tools there are, the more flexibility there is to solve the new challenges.</li><li>Even for complex problems, each living being's individual situation and circumstances are important.</li></ul>

Complex Problems Require Complex Tools

Being creative translates into building something new and valuable from apparently unrelated things. In the context of intelligence, this means making new and unusual connections: pairing input with memories and skills, to come up with a unique solution to a problem.Another aspect of creativity is applying a new tool/resource to a task.

Creativity: Making New And Unusual Connections

Gathering materials for later use is connected to an advanced dimension of problem-solving: planning.Planning means considering activities required for the desired goal and putting them together in a plan. When unexpected conditions and new possibilities arise, they need to be evaluated according to whether they match the plan or not.

The Ability To Plan

Because we as humans are able to work together and share knowledge across generations, we can overcome challenges beyond any single individual's ability. This allowed us to shape the planet on our liking.We also created new problems in the process: tax forms, but also climate change and antibiotic resistance, for example. To solve these, we need to look past short-term survival and think about the distant future.

Culture And Our Ability To Share Knowledge

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Science & Nature

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Humans are proud of a lot of things, from particle accelerators, to  poetry to pokemon. All of them made possible because of something humans value extremely highly: intelligence.


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What Is Intelligence? Where Does it Begin?

The reason we are afraid to open up, to share some things is the fact that we are afraid of how others will react.
If you want to make someone be comfortable in your presence and feel safe to open up, consider reducing the filter you use for "judging" the world around you.

Reducing your personal filter

<div class="insight_content">Because we are afraid of being judged, we keep out a lot of ideas and feelings.</div>So instead of talking about what we really want, we put on a sort of filter and spend the time discussing the weather, classes or sports, because all these are safe topics.

Why we use small talk

To show that someone is safe to open up with you, share something that is considered to be somehow weird. Just be careful to not seem too crazy.
Sharing something slightly odd about you will signal to the other person that you don't really care about what others think and also that you are not a judgemental person, so they'll feel safe in your presence.

Share something weird

<div class="insight_content">Before sharing something weird about yourself, make sure your value is high enough; this means you have proper hygiene, you have a decent amount of social proof,  you are in decent shape, you dress well and make eye contact.</div>The higher your value, the easier it is to get away with saying something weird.

Make sure your value is high enough

You can use them to guide the conversation in a way that leads a person to open up.
<ul>
<li>How they work: you make assumptions about someone based on your observations and see if you are right or not.</li>
<li>How they help you: these questions show that you pay attention and care about what is being said. And if the assumption is wrong, they will react to it; you can use this reaction and start a new related conversation.</li>
</ul>

Assumption questions

A practical guide on how to make seamless small talk that leads to important connections 

mentalhealth

Mental Health

How To Be Good at Parties

Learn More About My Habit Builder Program: http://improvementpill.net/programs Welcome to the BeeFriend course. In today's lesson, I'm going to share with you the mindset I have when trying to have deeper conversations with people. I'm often on the receiving end of many secrets and bottled up emotions from the get go. And this is because of 2 things that I tend to do while talking to others. This is how I get others to open up to me. Start From The Beginning (BeeFriend Course Playlist): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHfGgOfmbx4&list=PLE_vQWWxgaiHbUFDuNnqxfui3lrE2jjwO&index=1 Tamed Course (FREE Habit Building Course): https://youtu.be/m8JjuyRIxOg

Learn More About My Habit Builder Program:
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Welcome to the BeeFriend course. In today's lesson, I'm going to share with you the mindset I have when trying to have deeper conversations with people. I'm often on the receiving end of many secrets and bottled up emotions from the get go. And this is because of 2 things that I tend to do while talking to others. This is how I get others to open up to me. 

Start From The Beginning (BeeFriend Course Playlist):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHfGgOfmbx4&list=PLE_vQWWxgaiHbUFDuNnqxfui3lrE2jjwO&index=1

Tamed Course (FREE Habit Building Course):
https://youtu.be/m8JjuyRIxOg

How To Get People To Open Up

<div>We have hold self-control as a high virtue since the earliest times, and that's why it is a staple in most religions and the moral of many myths.</div>

The virtue of self-control

<div>We usually use this term when we describe a person that makes positive long-term decisions, by overcoming short-term temptations.</div>We associate this process with some sort of "will" or "willpower", though what these really mean is not that obvious.

Defining self-discipline

<div class="insight_content">In every moment of our lives, we are making decisions on how to act. Problems arise when we have to choose between what's immediately gratifying and what is not, but will be in the future. </div>The difficulty thus lies in delaying gratification.

Making decisions

<div>There are different factors behind every decision we make: genes, hormones, social environment, physical environment, past experiences, the context of the situation, etc. </div>But the most immediate cause of any of our actions can be traced back to our brain activity.

Behind decision-making

<div class="insight_content">The neurotransmitter called dopamine is more about the anticipation of a reward than it is about the reward itself.</div>Some specific cues found in our environment hint to a potential reward and dopamine starts to raise anticipation. So dopamine is the one responsible to make us take action towards a specific goal.

The role of dopamine

<div>When we're deciding between immediate and delayed rewards, our brain chooses how much dopamine to send to each part of the brain (the limbic targets for immediate rewards and the frontocortical targets for the delayed ones) pragmatically by how pleasurable the reward is and how much time would take us to get to that reward.</div>

Dopamine and rewards

<div>Habits are the ones that mediate the relationship between our desires and our environment.</div>To change a habit, both we and the environment have to change, and that's why self-discipline is so hard.

Self-discipline and habits

An individual can be changed through education.We have so little control over the biology that determines our desires. But the part of our biology that is more malleable is our brain.

The role of education

<div class="insight_content">Self-discipline is both an environmental and an individual problem: we can change our behaviors and beliefs through education, but the resources available for education are provided by our environment. Also, our habits are a product of what's available in the environment.</div>By acknowledging this, we can start finding alternative opportunities for learning and for satisfying our needs.

The product of our environment

Signup for your FREE trial to The Great Courses Plus here: http://ow.ly/ffLP30l0I5A Support Freedom in Thought: http://patreon.com/freedominthought In this video, we get to the bottom of why self-discipline (self-control) is so hard. Instagram: http://instagram.com/freedomintht Twitter: http://twitter.com/freedomintht Facebook: http://facebook.com/freedomintht Read more essays: http://freedominthought.com Art by Arianna Belotti: http://ariannabelotti.com/ Transcript and sources: http://freedominthought.com/archive/why-self-discipline-is-so-hard The Great Courses Plus is currently available to watch through a web browser to almost anyone in the world and optimized for the US, UK, and Australian markets. The Great Courses Plus is currently working to both optimize the product globally and accept credit card payments globally.

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In this video, we get to the bottom of why self-discipline (self-control) is so hard. 

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The Great Courses Plus is currently available to watch through a web browser to almost anyone in the world and optimized for the US, UK, and Australian markets. The Great Courses Plus is currently working to both optimize the product globally and accept credit card payments globally.

Freedom in Thought

Why Self-Discipline is so Hard

You have to release your feeling of control and your expectations on yourself. All you have to do is to let go, slow down without taking actions.

Surrender

What to do when you feel like doing nothing, when you’re unmotivated, burnt out, tired & unproductive. Thanks to Betterhelp for sponsoring this video. Get 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/aileen Are you feeling tired all the time? This is for those of you who are spreading yourself too thin, or simply exhausted from life and these trying times. I'm sending you lots of love, and reminding you to give love to yourself too. Please, don't feel guilty for slowing down, taking a break or doing less. It's okay. You are loved and worthy regardless. Allow yourself to nurture your mental health & recharge in whatever way you need to. 💜 We need to normalize balancing our masculine & feminine energies. Who agrees? // mentioned → wearing the Artist of Life Lounge Set | http://lavendaire.com/lounge-set → liberation kriya challenge | https://bit.ly/3szqnP1 // watch more videos → self love: healing my self worth | http://bit.ly/2upFHW0 → how to stop comparing yourself to others | http://bit.ly/2XvuZqC → self care routine: a slow morning | https://bit.ly/3iHlwWB 📸 Instagram | http://instagram.com/lavendaire ___________________________ 💝 The Lavendaire Shop | http://shop.lavendaire.com 🌻 Website | https://lavendaire.com 💛 Podcast: The Lavendaire Lifestyle | http://lavendaire.com/llpodcast ❀ instagram | http://instagram.com/lavendaire ❀ tiktok | http://tiktok.com/@lavendaire ❀ facebook | http://facebook.com/lavendaire ❀ twitter | http://twitter.com/lavendaire ❀ pinterest | http://pinterest.com/lavendaire ___________________________ // RESOURCES 💌 Join the Lavi Loves mailing list | http://lavendaire.com/mail 💫 Free resources on Lavendaire | http://www.lavendaire.com/resources 👯‍♀️ Join our Lavi Loves Community | http://lavendaire.com/vibely 📷 Camera gear + equipment | http://lavendaire.com/gear 🎧 FREE Audible Trial | http://www.audibletrial.com/lavendaire 🌱 Deals & affiliates | https://www.lavendaire.com/deals/ ___________________________ Music by Epidemic Sound - http://bit.ly/2IBCok1 (30 day free trial) Business inquiries | mgmt@lavendaire.com ___________________________ // ABOUT I’m Aileen, a lifestyle creator sharing knowledge and inspiration on creating your dream life. Lavendaire is a resource for personal growth & lifestyle design. Follow along and learn how you can create a beautiful and meaningful life. Subscribe to Lavendaire to get inspired by new videos weekly! http://bit.ly/sublavendaire ___________________________ Disclaimer: This video is sponsored by Betterhelp.

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