Handling Difficult People

• The Perfectionist. If you are looking for quick results, perfectionists can be a source of frustration.
• Control freaks. When you want to do things your way, overly controlling types can be a source of irritation as well.
• Creative people. They’re essential if generating ideas is the plan but can cause frustration when you just want to get to delivering a simple result.
• Shapers: Although shapers may seek to take over as and when they see fit, they can really help drive action.
• Aggressive or defensive people. Assertion can help move a group forward. Aggression or defensiveness can have the opposite effect on a group’s dynamic.
• Submissive people. The lack of confidence and fear of failure that many submissive types display can be a source of frustration as well. 

Turn the situation inward and analyze your triggers and reactions to these situations. 

• How do you react to a difficult person in your life?
• How does your difficult person react to your reactions?
• If the other person is the problem, are you growing unhealthy actions and reactions in response to him or her?
• Are you the difficult person driving others to reactive behavior?
• How do others react to your actions and responses?

Have a clear sense of self, what causes you tension and where your limits are.

• Seek to understand the situation. Gain some clarity by asking questions while managing your own reactions.
• Stick to the facts and acknowledge emotions. 
• Paraphrase and check for accurate understanding. 
• Stating your emotions or the impact that the person is having on you based on their behavior, if delivered correctly, can sometimes be the nudge that someone needs to realize that they are rubbing you the wrong way.
• Seek the advice of others. You are not the only person who has ever had to productively interact with a difficult person. 
• Keep records, if necessary. If things go south, at least you have a good record of what led to that place.