100+ Facts About Parenting & Child Care Tips for different Styles - Deepstash

100+ Facts About Parenting & Child Care Tips for different Styles

The internet is already filled to the brim with parenting facts, tips, advice, and courses that teach you how to master minute details about being a parent. Often it's a very lucrative business that capitalizes on this parenting frenzy. No one really has enough time to research the good aspects from all these great and average parenting resources. Our community of Curators and people with a genuine passion about researching child care tips, parenting facts, healthy and positive parenting attitude and alike, write down core ideas that they've found interesting and boil them down to flashcard-like ideas for you to flick through in minutes!

Explore over 2000 Idea Cards with Parenting Facts and Tips - all curated by our community

All these in the perfect form factor, idea cards with proven tips and wisdom from a community of experienced caregivers, educators, and psychologists. From positive parenting tips to handling different parenting styles, these idea cards shed light on the science and art of child-rearing. Whether you're curious about the effects of authoritative or permissive parenting, or seeking guidance on healthy parenting practices, Deepstash brings you evidence-based insights and heartwarming anecdotes to support your parenting journey. A wealth of knowledge on child care tips, best parenting practices, and fascinating parenting styles facts. Learn about the unique approaches of penguin, tiger, and dolphin parenting, and discover the impact of helicopter parenting on child development. Each idea card combines scientific facts about parenting with practical advice, from managing toddler tantrums to fostering teenage independence.

Create a habit out of Flicking through best parenting tips & facts in media and replace doomscrolling with our idea cards!

The Seeds Of Anxiety

The Seeds Of Anxiety

Studies show that anxiety and phobias among children start at age four, and by age eleven, a child can have many anxiety and related disorders. Introverts tend to suffer a lot more, becoming deeply scarred with the hurdles and humiliations of life. This is due to a competitive environment, compounded by the rising cost of living and peer pressure to be successful.

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Lengthens Life Expectancy

Lengthens Life Expectancy

Healthy relationships could increase your lifespan up to 50%. Combine all the physical and mental health benefits discussed above, and you can see why family time has been linked to living a longer, healthier, happier life. Even those with unhealthy physical habits, but a strong social network live longer than those without these relationships.

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Good behaviors to notice and praise:

Good behaviors to notice and praise:

  • Social skills and manners.
  1. Being kind.
  2. Being a good sport.
  3. Compromising.
  4. Doing things for others.
  • Self-control skills.
  1. Being careful and gentle
  2. Being safe.
  3. Staying calm.
  4. Calmly expressing feelings.
  • School and learning skills.
  1. Concentrating.
  2. Creative thinking.
  3. Flexible thinking.
  4. Focusing and staying on task.
  • Listening and obeying skills.
  1. Accepting no for an answer.
  2. Asking permission.
  3. Doing things right away.
  4. Following directions.

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Teaches Effective Conflict Resolution

Teaches Effective Conflict Resolution

Being with family is fun, but it can be difficult, too. When conflicts arise, you can’t just walk away for good. You’re in this together, so you have to work together to solve the issues that come up. Spending time with family teaches interpersonal communication skills including healthy, constructive ways to discuss, debate, and solve problems. 

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Reduces Stress 

Reduces Stress 

Those with strong family healthy relationships tend to seek out healthier coping mechanisms for stress—such as confiding in friends and family—instead of other unhealthy outlets. This establishes a habit of talking through problems together to relieve stress and find effective solutions. 

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Enhances Physical Health

Enhances Physical Health

With the right kind of activities, spending time with family can positively impact physical well-being. For instance, families who eat home-cooked meals together tend to have a better diet than those who don’t. Participating in outdoor activities like sports games, hikes, or gardening together helps to improve fitness. It improves heart, brain, hormonal, and immune health. Being with family can also encourage one another to maintain healthy lifestyles. 

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STAGED MODELS

STAGED MODELS

Bowlby and Parke developed a four-stage model of grief that focused on the aspect of attachment to the person who is gone. The stages include shock and numbness, yearning and searching, despair and disorganization, and reorganization and recovery. Bowlby’s research into attachment focused on the ways in which children form attachments from infancy. Looking at attachment as a means for survival, Bowlby’s perspective suggests that separation anxiety is driven by the abject terror of being abandoned by one’s parents.

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Carving Out Identity in Adulthood

While narcissistic traits are the kind that drives away most people, children are bound to the narcissist by birth, and as they grow into adolescence and adulthood, they may remain entangled in their narcissistic parent’s web. Bound by guilt and obligation, it can be difficult to move on and disengage. To do so, a clean break may be needed; limiting contact with parents and learning to ignore their calls and texts. Most of us receive a message to honor our parents and show them obedience, but narcissistic parents fail to earn their children’s respect due to the emotional disruption they trigger. Individuating from your parent and building your own sense of self may require you to consciously set aside any hopes that your parent will change and acknowledge that they can never be, nor have they ever been, the “good enough” parent that every child deserves. Accepting the loss of what you never had can free you to become the person you know you were meant to be.

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Taking cues from you

When children witness a parent in a state of anxiety, they can become unsettled, because they take information about how to interpret situations from the parent.

If you notice your child shows anxious behaviors, don't punish yourself for it. Implement strategies to help ensure you do not pass your anxiety on to your kids.

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Make a plan

Come up with ways to manage specific situations that trigger your stress. You may even speak to your child about it, but don't put the responsibility on your child to manage your anxiety. However, seeing you implement a plan to curb an anxious moment shows him how stress can be managed.

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How To Reconcile With An Adult Child

A simple sorry and an acceptance of your not being able to realize your actions, your prejudice and your own blindspots may help them move towards reconciliation. Do not use any toxic words or actions that can easily backfire.

Often the aggrieved young adult does not want a specific apology about a particular mistake, but is generally aggrieved about their entire childhood, or how their parents related to them. An apology then becomes a first step towards making tangible, impactful change.

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Give kids opportunities for kindness

Children learn to act kindly the same way they learn anything else - with practice.

Give them daily opportunities to practice kindness, such as helping another child.

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The mental health effects of parental pressure

Excessive or inappropriate parental pressure carries many mental health consequences for kids as they grow up.

Studies suggest that children who grow up with parents who yelled, shouted, or verbally humiliated them may have a greater likelihood of experiencing challenges  such as:

  • depression
  • negative self-talk
  • anger management problems
  • physical aggression
  • delinquency
  • eating disorders and body image
  • trouble maintaining relationships.

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Types of parental pressure

There are two main forms of parental pressure: direct pressure and indirect pressure.

  • Direct pressure often involves yelling, force, or complaining.
  • Indirect pressure may involve guilt-tripping your child or reminding them of rigid expectations.

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Defining homeschooling

Defining homeschooling

Homeschooling is a progressive movement around the world where parents educate their own children at home.

The homeschooling movement began in the 1970s when researchers and authors such as John Holt and Dorothy and Raymond Moore started writing about educational reform. They promoted homeschooling as an alternative educational option.

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FRANKLIN P. ADAMS

"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."

FRANKLIN P. ADAMS

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Set rules, not ultimatums

Set rules, not ultimatums

Authoritative parenting — rather than authoritarian parenting — is tied to high self-esteem in children. When parents are overly controlling, children can lose faith in themselves and their ability to do things or listen to their own feelings.

Instead of telling your child that it’s your way or the highway, try setting house rules with their input and enforce them consistently.

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Focus on health, not appearance

Focus on health, not appearance

  • Avoid teasing or criticizing your child about their weight or appearance. These types of behaviors are strongly tied to the development of eating disorders in young adults.
  • Monitoring or restricting food can backfire, leading your child to adopt unhealthy habits and hide them from you.
  • Instead, swap discussing weight or body image in favor of encouraging healthy habits, like eating enough nutritious foods and exercising.

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Learn stress management techniques

A big part of treatment for children with anxiety is to teach parents stress tolerance.

A mental health professional can help you work through methods of stress management for your specific needs.

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7. When your co-parent won’t be flexible

When your co-parent refuses to be flexible, the best course of action is to Seek a Court Order to ensure the health and safety of your children. If the other parent is uncooperative, this may be the only way to resolve any issues.

Regardless of the situation, it is important to do your best as a parent and prioritize the well-being of your children.

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2. Accept different parenting styles

2. Accept different parenting styles

It's important to talk to your children about different parenting styles and household rules, respecting that each is okay as long as the child is safe.

  • Recognize if fear of letting children stay with the other parent overnight is due to legitimate safety concerns or the need for control.
  • Ask yourself if being with the other parent is harmful or just different routines. 
  • Avoid fighting and broken relationships by letting them go if safe.

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Letting Go of a Narcissistic Parent: Shock and Numbness

Letting Go of a Narcissistic Parent: Shock and Numbness

According to Bowlby and Parkes, grief commences with shock and numbness. Children of narcissists may be so numbed to the world around them due to the pressures that are put on them by their parents, they may not realize that their parents and their relationships are not like those of peers at first. Children of narcissists may already be emotionally shut down due to the parent’s controlling and demanding behavior.

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ELIZABETH GILBERT.

"Having a child is like getting a tattoo ... on your face. You better be committed."

ELIZABETH GILBERT.

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Explain your anxiety

It's okay not to suppress your emotions constantly. Your children need to see how you cope with stress every now and then. Explain to your children why you behaved the way you did.

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The helicopter philosophy

Helicopter parenting is about being very involved in your children's lives.

However, overzealous helicopter patenting is when parents interfere with teachers or extracurricular activities and demand that their children are treated in a certain way. The overzealous version can be kept in line by checking in with friends first before flattening everything in your path.

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Boosts Self-Confidence

Boosts Self-Confidence

Spending time with family builds confidence for all of its members. Parents can teach children to build self-esteem through specific skills such as problem solving and communication. They can also model the ability to love oneself without degrading others. For parents and children, confidence grows simply with the knowledge that they are valued and appreciated by their loved ones. 

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When A Situation Is Beyond Reconciliation

  1. Understand that one in five persons are affected by family estrangement.
  2. If you are accused of something you didn’t even do, accept that you cannot change anything about it and feel what you are feeling.
  3. Time and acceptance are great healers.
  4. Leave the doors open, not shutting yourself down completely.
  5. Do not rehash the past, but focus on the future.

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Parenting styles

Parenting styles

There are many parenting styles that are part of a parent's toolbox, such as free-range, helicopter, authoritarian, snowplough, tiger style.

Each style uses a different tactic to raise children. However, parents seldom only use one tool when raising their children. More often, they use every tool at their disposal to get through.

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Let your child lead the way.

Let your child lead the way.

Since children rarely have the opportunity to be in charge, letting your child lead can make playtime feel extra special.

Here are two ways to follow your child’s lead:

  • Go with the flow by letting your child choose what you play with and how you play (as long as it’s safe).
  • Reduce commands and questions such as, “Say choo choo!” and, “What will his name be?”

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Taking the time to play ( Positive Parenting Tips )

Taking the time to play ( Positive Parenting Tips )

Parenting experts say that as little as five minutes of daily distraction-free playtime can strengthen the parent-child bond, and connect with your child.

Some Tips :

  1. Play with PRIDE.
  2. Let your child lead the way.

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ALYSON HANNIGAN.

"Why don’t kids understand their nap is not for them, but for us?"

ALYSON HANNIGAN.

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Reconciliation: The Way To Move Forward

Admittedly, many family situations are dangerous and abusive. If a situation in an estranged relationship is not entirely intractable, one can try reconciliation, which can help in healing, growth, exploration and change.

If it's possible, resist the urge to recreate the past and build a new future. Try to find common ground, be in the present moment, and move ahead from there.

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Effects of helicopter parents

Many helicopter parents have good intentions, but when parenting is governed by fear, it's hard to see all the things kids can learn without help.

Failure and difficulties teach kids new skills. However, when we overprotect children, 

  • it decreases children's confidence and self-esteem.
  • They don't develop coping skills for loss, disappointment, or failure.
  • Increase their anxiety.
  • They develop a sense of entitlement.
  • They never learn to master certain skills themselves.

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<p><strong>1. Creating physica...

1. Creating physical separation

2. Creating psychological separation

3. Calling parents on their attitudes and behaviors

4. Exorcizing guilt and shame

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Targeting inappropriate behaviors with PRIDE skills.

Targeting inappropriate behaviors with PRIDE skills.

This is done by “catching” your child doing something good that is opposite of an inappropriate behavior.

For instance, want your child to stop running ahead at the grocery store? Praise him for staying next to you.

When you compliment your child for displaying a good behavior, it helps him learn what to do rather than what not to do, and increases the likelihood he’ll repeat that good behavior.

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Sort Your Life Out

Sort Your Life Out

If you’re living with an authoritarian parent or if you still must deal with one, what can help? From my primary research with victims of authoritarian wounding at the hands of family members, nothing works perfectly. But the following 10 strategies can help.

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6. Be open and flexible

6. Be open and flexible

  • Be flexible in co-parenting arrangements
  • Use common sense to solve challenges
  • Give notice and communication options to other parent
  • Be open to conversations and adjustments
  • Practice mutual understanding, as it may be your turn to request adjustments.

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Homeschooled kids are behind and ahead

One advantage of homeschooling is that students can progress at their own pace. Children can be ahead in certain subjects but behind in others.

A study done by the National Home Education Research Institute found that homeschoolers had an average standardized test score in the 87th percentile, compared to the average score in the 50th percentile of children in the public schools.

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How to avoid helicopter parenting

As parents, we have to look at our children now and how they should be as adults. Getting them from children to adulthood involves suffering for both child and parent.

This means allowing children to struggle.

  • Allow them to be disappointed and help them to work through failure.
  • Let your children do the tasks they're physically and mentally capable of, even if they battle at first.

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Two important skills

Children need to learn to focus on individuals and truly listen to them.

They also need to learn to see the bigger picture by putting human experience in context.

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MAYIM BIALIK.

“I came to parenting the way most of us do — knowing nothing and trying to learn everything.”

MAYIM BIALIK.

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Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian Parenting

  • You believe kids should be seen and not heard.
  • When it comes to rules, you believe it's "my way or the highway."
  • You don't take your child's feelings into consideration.

These parents believe kids should follow the rules without exception, or suffer the consequences. Their focus is on obedience, so there’s no place for negotiating. They use punishment over discipline.

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PRIDE skills — Five ways to provide positive parenting.

PRIDE skills — Five ways to provide positive parenting.

The PRIDE skills are five positive parenting techniques that can easily be used in every day life. 

  • P➡️ Praise ( Love what they do ).
  • R➡️ Reflection ( Say what they say ).
  • I ➡️ Imitation ( Do what they do ).
  • D➡️ Description ( Say what they do ).
  • E ➡️ Enjoyment ( Show Warmth and Enthusiasm )

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Homeschooling Curriculum

Homeschooling provides a natural setting where parents can instruct in a way that matches the child's unique interests, ability, and learning style.

There is a wide variety of available curricula and resources. Subjects typically taught include the standard disciples followed in a traditional school and include subjects that capitalize on the child's interests. Homeschooling families often combine certain subjects that are not grade- or age-specific, such as history, literature, and the arts.

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Styles of Parenting

Styles of Parenting

Your parenting style determines who your child will become. The way you interact with and discipline them, will be the influence they carry with them, now and into adulthood.

Researchers have identified four types of parenting styles:

  • Authoritarian
  • Authoritative
  • Permissive
  • Uninvolved

Each one takes a different approach to raising kids and can be identified by various characteristics.

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Handling Estranged Relations: The Adult Child

While faced with a young adult who has walked away from your life, understand that you may be a problem, and the adult child has to be seen with empathy and understanding.

The formative years are bound to be problematic and it is in the nature of young adults to commit certain mistakes, which becomes a part of their personal growth. There is no need to ridicule them for their mistakes.

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If You Are The One That Initiated An Estrangement

  1. Do a cost-benefit analysis if you are thinking of reconciliation, weighing the pros and cons of making contact again.
  2. Understand that any clash has two people who play a role, just like it takes two hands to clap.
  3. Do not try to align the past, which is futile exercise.
  4. Be careful in setting up the terms of engagement.
  5. Therapy often delves into the parental actions of the past, and is not a good option during reconciliation which has to focus on one’s future personal growth.
  6. A successful reconciliation is not easy, and is a true achievement.

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What causes parents to pressure children?

What causes parents to pressure children?

Parents might feel the need to pressure their children for many reasons.

  • Research shows that 86% of parents pressure their kids because they grew up with distant or negligent parents and wanted to pay more attention to their own children.
  • Guilt — often stemming from big life disruptions like moves or divorces — was another reason cited. Parents fear being neglectful during these upheavals, and they overcompensate with parental pressure.

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Helps Children Perform Well Academically

Helps Children Perform Well Academically

On average, kids who are spending time with family, tend to do better in school. They learn communication skills and the importance of education. When needed, assisting with assignments or new concepts reinforces the fact that their success is important to you. Even just asking about their day and what they’re learning will show your children how much you care. 

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Lowers Risk Of Behavioral Problems

Lowers Risk Of Behavioral Problems

Children who are spending time with their family have shown less risk of behavioral issues, such as violence and substance abuse. When they receive positive attention for positive behaviors, it increases their desire to continue those healthy patterns.

Family is so important when it comes to a child (or teenager) bringing problems to you, because your advice can allow them to become better equipped to cope with problems and make positive choices. 

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AFRICAN PROVERB

It takes a village to raise a child.

AFRICAN PROVERB

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BILL AYERS.

"Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them."

BILL AYERS.

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Helps Kids Learn Future Parenting Skills

Helps Kids Learn Future Parenting Skills

The memories you create together will instill in children a desire to foster that same loving atmosphere in their own future homes. Family is so important because, through your example, your kids learn important caregiving skills that they can use one day. They may even practice now by copying your behaviors when they interact with siblings. 

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But unconditional parenting insists that the family ought to be a haven, a refuge, from such transactions. In particular, love from one's parents does not have to be paid for in any sense. It is purely and simply a gift. It is something to which all children are entitled.

ALFIE KOHN

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The helicopter parent

Helicopter parents may be involved in a child's life that is over-managing and overprotecting. 

  • In toddlerhood, a helicopter parent might constantly hover over the child, always directing his play and behaviour. 
  • In elementary school, they may help too much with homework or ensure a child gets a specific teacher or coach. 
  • In high school or college-aged students, helicopter parents help to complete tasks children can manage on their own, such as organising a class schedule or calling a professor.

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KEY POINTS

KEY POINTS

  • Narcissistic parents try to fill their emotional void through their children.
  • Being raised by a narcissist can lead to a variety of negative feelings and a compromised sense of self in adulthood.
  • Adult children of narcissists must grieve the loss of the "good enough" parenting that they never had.
  • Ambiguous losses are notable for the conflicting emotions they fuel.

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1. Put your children first

1. Put your children first

During separation, children may experience big and challenging feelings such as grief, anger, frustration, isolation, and loneliness. It's important to acknowledge their emotions and be there for them. 

Support and stay in contact with your co-parent, to ensure your children feel safe. If your child can't stay overnight with the other parent, think of alternative ways for them to bond.

Putting the children's needs first is key.

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Conditional Parenting

Conditional Parenting

We can love our children in different ways. The book looks at one such distinction---between loving kids for what they do and loving them for who they are.

The first is conditional, which means it must be earned by the children through acting in ways we deem appropriate, or by performing up to our standards. 

The second sort of love is unconditional: It is given either way and is not based on whether they are successful or well behaved or anything else.

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Promotes Adaptability And Resilience

Promotes Adaptability And Resilience

Your ability to face life’s changes and challenges is greatly improved by a strong family bond. Being with family gives you the feeling of knowing that you belong, you are cared for, and you are needed, which gives a sense of meaning and purpose. This assurance gives motivation to push forward, grow, and succeed. 

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Instilling kindness

Most parents believe it is a top priority to instill kindness in their children.

However, in one study, nearly 80% of children surveyed said their parents taught them that personal happiness and high achievement were more important than caring for other people.

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Adults should stop passing the buck

Few parents are willing to admit that they might be part of the children's moral state.
Parents need to understand what values they are instilling in their children by being aware of their own actions.

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Fostering independence

In Japan and Norway, parents are focused on cultivating independence.

  • In Norway, most children enter state-sponsored daycare at 1 year old.
  • In Japan, children run errands without parental supervision. The children take subways by themselves and walk on busy streets alone.

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4. Keep to regular routines within families

4. Keep to regular routines within families

Routines bring stability and improved resiliency to families during uncertain times. 

Determine your family's specific needs and prioritize 2-3 morning, afternoon, or evening routines to anchor the day and keep it on track.

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And Remember...

  1. Co-parenting can be done in different ways, so think creatively to find solutions that benefit everyone.
  2. Finding the right balance in co-parenting takes time, patience and good communication.
  3. Both parents should work together and put aside their differences to create a positive environment for their children's growth and development.

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A Child's Mental Health

A Child's Mental Health

Various studies conducted in the U.S. population indicate growing anxiety towards a possibly grim future. Political turmoil, gun violence, global plagues, changing power structure and a widening rich-poor divide make us believe in a future that is more stressful and complicated than the present.

Our children are the most vulnerable. Depression cases among the young are climbing since the 90s. Suicidal cases among 10 to 24-year-olds have risen 56 per cent from 2007 to 2017.

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Unconditional parenting

Conditional parenting is mainly rooted in the school of thought known as behaviorism, commonly associated with the late B. F. Skinner. Here, external forces, such as what someone has previously been rewarded or punished for doing, account for how we act.

Unconditional parenting assumes that behaviors are just the outward expression of feelings and thoughts, needs and intentions. In a nutshell, it's the child who engages in a behavior, not just the behavior itself, that matters.

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Don’t do your child’s work for them

You might be tempted to intervene in your child’s life out of a sense of duty or control, such as:

  • asking your child’s teachers for extra credit
  • scolding a classmate who hurt your child’s feelings
  • hiding or restricting access to food.

But if you help make your child feel capable, they’ll be more motivated to solve problems in the future. Consider talking with your child about solutions to their problems without attempting to solve them yourself.

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How to get started with homeschooling

  • Those with young children can begin home education when their child turns school age. They also have to adhere to the requirements in their particular state. Legal requirements vary from place to place.
  • Parents who have children in school must first write a letter of withdrawal to the school principal. The letter should describe the parent's intent to remove a child from school. After the notification, parents continue to follow their district's specific guidelines.

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Model stress tolerance

You might learn strategies in therapy that you can impart to your child when she is feeling anxious.

Try to maintain a calm, neutral demeanor in front of your child, even if you are still trying to manage your anxiety. Children are quick to read facial expressions.

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7 Co-Parenting Tips for Children

7 Co-Parenting Tips for Children

#1. Put your children first

#2. Accept different parenting styles

#3. Be calm and focus on connection

#4. Keep to regular routines within families

#5. Develop a Co-Parenting Plan

#6. Be open and flexible

#7. When your co-parent won’t be flexible

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Being involved without smothering your kids

Being involved without smothering your kids

In Dr Haim Ginott's book Parents & Teenagers, teenagers used helicopter parenting to describe how their parents hovered over them like helicopters.

Helicopter parenting refers to a type of parents who are overly focused on their children. They usually take excessive responsibility for their children's experiences, specifically their successes or failures.

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If we're not careful, this can become our primary goal. We may find ourselves joining all those people around us who prize docility in children and value short-term obedience above all.

ALFIE KOHN

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Participate With The Kids

While they are engaged in the media, stay with your kids(as much as possible), guide them, help them understand and form connections. Kids would have plenty of questions and providing them timely answers with examples makes the whole exercise fruitful and strengthens your bond with them.

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Don't Hand Over The Remote

Don’t just hand over the remote to the kids. Help them choose the right content that is educational, informative, and interesting enough for them to engage in for hours. There are various learning apps that can help them learn subjects, like Sesame Street, Bedtime Math and many others. Resources like Common Sense Media have plenty of content and activities related to healthy living, eating, and scientific fun facts. It helps to gauge your kids interest first and then choose the right media.

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Why parents hover

  • Fear of consequences. Parents might worry that their child may receive a low grade or get rejected from the sports team. Most of these consequences, such as unhappiness, effort or hard work, are not life-threatening.
  • Feelings of anxiety. Concern about the economy can push parents to take more control, believing they can keep their children from being hurt.
  • Overcompensation. A parent may try to remedy a lack from their own upbringing by overdoing it in their children.
  • Peer pressure from other over-involved parents.

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Validate your child’s feelings

It’s easy to assume that your child is a smaller extension of you who feels the same way you do about the same things.

But when you give credence to your child’s feelings instead of seeking to control them — even when they’re not the same as yours — you acknowledge that they’re their own person.

Validating your child’s feelings and keeping communication about emotions open and honest can help your child learn to trust their gut in life

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Cognitive Behavioural Therapy(CBT)

.. works as a treatment for anxiety, using ‘cognitive reconstructing’ in young adults(when they are motivated to cooperate), with a 60 per cent success rate, but the benefit isn’t long term if the treatment is stopped.

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Know when to disengage

If you know that a situation might cause you to stress, plan ahead to disengage from that situation so your children will not interpret it as unsafe.

If you feel you are becoming overwhelmed with anxiety in the presence of your child, try and take a break.

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Smartphones and Social Media

Smartphones and Social Media

Across age groups, social media is potentially hazardous, with its tendency to amplify the social divide.

There is a strong relationship between anxiety/depression and the use of smartphones, particularly social media usage among kids, though the data also seem to show the positive effects of staying connected with their peers. Online distractions also make youngsters give up their offline life, leading to isolation and further depression.

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Homeschooling methods influence the daily schedule

The educational philosophy a homeschooling family chooses will influence their daily structure.

  • Most of us are familiar with only the traditional education system of textbooks, desks, and standardized testing. However, a wide array of educational philosophies exist. These include Waldorf, Montessori, Charlotte Mason, Classical education, Interest-led learning, and more.
  • Homeschoolers blend methods that best meet their children's needs and have freedom over the structure of their school year.

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There's a big difference, after all, between a child who does something because he or she believes it's the right thing to do and one who does it out of a sense of compulsion. Ensuring that children internalize our values isn't the same thing as helping them to develop their own. And it's diametrically opposed to the goal of having kids become independent thinkers.

ALFIE KOHN

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I realized that this is what many people in our society seem to want most from children: not that they are caring or creative or curious, but simply that they are well behaved. A "good" child---from infancy to adolesence---is one who isn't too much trouble to us grown-ups.

ALFIE KOHN

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3. Be calm and focus on connection

3. Be calm and focus on connection

Be a positive role model for your children. Show them how to handle change and unexpected events by staying calm and composed, even when things don't go according to plan. 

Encourage connection with their other parent by having photos, phone calls, and responding positively to their stories. Your children are watching and taking cues from you, so lead by example and focus on connecting with them when they are with you.

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Permissive Parenting

Permissive Parenting

  • You set rules but rarely enforce them.
  • You don't give out consequences very often.
  • You think your child will learn best with little interference from you.

These parents are lenient, only stepping in if there's a serious problem. When consequences are used, they don’t usually stick.

They take on more of a friend role than a parent. They encourage their children to talk with them about their problems, but they don't put much effort into discouraging poor choices or bad behavior. 

78

The Best Parenting Style

The Best Parenting Style

In reality, parents just don’t fit into one specific category. Situations rise where you may need to change your style, and that’s okay.

The studies are clear, however, that authoritative parenting is the best style.

With hard work and dedication to being the best parent you can be, you can maintain a healthy and positive relationship with your child while still establishing your authority.

Over time, your family will reap the benefits of a more authoritative style.

85

Why parents need self-compassion

Parents' frame of mind impacts their children. Parents should not blame themselves when their children struggle.

Since parents lead by example, treating themselves with compassion and without judgment can help their children to do the same.

105

5. Develop a Co-Parenting Plan

5. Develop a Co-Parenting Plan

Having a plan for parenting responsibilities and care arrangements is essential for a successful co-parenting relationship. Putting the needs of the children first and using common sense decision making can help navigate the new relationship between parents and minimize miscommunication. 

The plan should include a schedule for:

  • Visitation
  • Education
  • Medical needs
  • Financial support
  • Special occasions
  • And guidelines for decision making and conflict resolution.

13

Differences between conditional and unconditional parenting

Conditional parenting:

  • Focus: Behavior (what can be observed from the outside)
  • View of Human Nature: Negative (child will abuse power or behave badly)
  • View of Parental Love: A privilege to be earned (and never to be given freely)
  • Strategies: "Doing to" (Control via rewards and punishments)

Unconditional parenting:

  • Focus: Whole child (including reasons, thoughts, feelings)
  • View of Human Nature: Positive or balanced
  • View of Parental Love: A gift (there are no strings attached)
  • Strategies: "Working with" (problem solving)

283

Bubble-wrapping your Child

A study showed that children put in day-care, being away from their parents, and interacting with kids their own age, opened up and were psychologically healthier than those who were always with their parents.

Not surprisingly, it is the parents’ adverse reactions and anxiety attacks in response to their children’s behaviour, which is compounding the problem. The ones who are able to endure their children’s discomfort, and not go hyper, become resilient and cope well in the long run.

146

Improves Mental Health

Improves Mental Health

Spending time with family especially face-to-face communication, as opposed to digitalsignificantly reduces the occurrence of depression, anxiety, and other mental illness. Being physically present with loved ones creates a strong emotional support to buoy you up through life’s challenges. 

48

The Kids Are All Right

Due to the lockdown, most day-care centres, workplaces and schools are now closed. This has parents grappling with kids using technology at home, consuming media all day.

A few tips that can help make the most of the screen time for kids who are now nested at home:

  • Choose high-quality Educational Media.
  • Participate in the media.
  • Aim for creation, not consumption.

93

Family Stress

Family Stress

The deep wounds and scars that run in the family make people prone to various health conditions due to stress.

Chronic conditions like headaches and strokes are diagnosed due to a family's emotional climate.

207

The two camps of parenting advice

  • Baby Trainers urge parents to get their newborn on to a strict schedule to integrate him into the rhythms of the household. 
  • Natural Parents emulate the earthy practices of indigenous tribes in the developing world.
Although these two camps are hostile toward each other, we should realize that baby advice is not mainly about raising children. Instead, it is a vehicle to suggest that it might be possible to bring the terrifying unpredictability of the world under control. A brand new baby makes it possible to believe in that fantasy.

    32

    'Controlling' the future

    Many American parents believe that their choices carve out their children’s futures. They seek expert advice to attempt to raise the happiest, most successful, and most well-adjusted leaders of tomorrow.

    76

    Estranged: Rifts In The Family

    Estranged: Rifts In The Family

    Estranged relationships are common in families, with feuds being especially brutal among siblings. There have been stories throughout history, from Cleopatra to Genghis Khan, of the unheard of ruthlessness by which family members with whom there is a clash have been disposed of.

    Various modern studies show a sizable percentage of families are fractured, with estranged family members and disputes going on for at least four years. An estimate shows that as much as 20 percent of American adults are in a state of ‘estrangement’ among their family members.

    46

    Authoritative Parenting

    Authoritative Parenting

    • You put a lot of effort into creating and maintaining a positive relationship with your child.
    • You explain the reasons behind your rules.
    • You enforce rules and give consequences, but take your child's feelings into consideration. 

    These parents acknowledge their child’s feelings, while also making it clear that the adults are ultimately in charge. 

    They invest time and energy into preventing behavior problems before they start and use positive discipline strategies to reinforce good behavior.

    94

    Uninvolved Parenting

    Uninvolved Parenting

    • You don't ask your child about school or homework.
    • You rarely know where your child is or who she is with.
    • You don't spend much time with your child.

    These parents tend to have little knowledge of what their children are doing. There are few rules. Children may not receive much guidance, nurturing, or attention.

    They expect children to raise themselves, and don't put much time or energy into meeting children's basic needs. Uninvolved parents may be neglectful, but it's not always intentional.

    76

    Parental pressure

    Parental pressure

    This is the emotional stress parents impose upon their children and is often related to academic performance, extracurricular activities, social standards, appearance, friendships, and romantic relationships.

    Certain parenting experiences might prompt you to pressure your kids to make different choices, such as when:

    • your child struggles with something that came easily to you
    • your child makes different life decisions than you did
    • your child chooses friends who you think are poor influences.

    You may feel that your own choices could make their lives easier, more successful, or earn you the admiration of other parents in your circle.

    9

    Use praise more than criticism

    Criticism drawing attention to your child’s mistakes or behaviors that bother you can cause your child’s defenses to go up, perpetuating what originally sparked the criticism.

    Instead, try praising your child for what they do well. Studies recommend working your way up to offering four times more praise than criticism.

    Parenting with praise may boost your child’s confidence and improve your child’s academic performance, reinforcing their belief that they can do the work and be successful at it.

    9

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