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How to Stop Feeling Like a Failure

Seeing the “impostor syndrome” differently

Start seeing it not as a syndrome, but as a part of the human condition. Because everybody feels like that at one time or another.

Learn to see its positive parts: not knowing exactly what you are doing is a gift because there are no absolute right answers. You are coming at something with fresh eyes

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How to Stop Feeling Like a Failure

How to Stop Feeling Like a Failure

https://99u.adobe.com/articles/61406/the-first-five-years-how-to-stop-feeling-like-a-failure

99u.adobe.com

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Key Ideas

Failure and growth

Failure is an important part of growth, a valuable learning experience.

But failure is not the goal, it is not something to strive for. It is merely a byproduct of trying new things, taking risks and learning.

Failure is useful

... but feeling like a failure is not. And in today's world that's incredibly easy, especially because social media gives you access to people you look up to; that makes comparing your accomplishments to theirs almost effortless.

Feeling miserable about yourself because you have not done the same things in the same way with the same popularity as your heroes is a toxic habit that you must try to stop. 

Seeing the “impostor syndrome” differently

Start seeing it not as a syndrome, but as a part of the human condition. Because everybody feels like that at one time or another.

Learn to see its positive parts: not knowing exactly what you are doing is a gift because there are no absolute right answers. You are coming at something with fresh eyes

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Impostor syndrome

The impostor syndrome is the sense that our accomplishments are in some way underserved, no matter how consistent the evidence is to the contrary.

Impostor syndrome is an epidemic

There are several reasons why the impostor syndrome seems to have become an epidemic.

  • We have given the phenomenon a name.
  • Our preoccupation with it is the result of profound social change. Many people work in the service economy, where we create impressions rather than tangible items. 
  • Professional life today leaves us straining to redefine ourselves; we sometimes promise things we don't yet know how to do. 
  • We are no longer born into a role.
  • We can constantly compare our experiences to those of others online.
  • We can create an outward persona we know to be untrue.
The paradox of being an impostor

In order for you to believe in yourself, you need to convince someone else to believe in you. Once they believe in you, you feel more confident to believe in yourself.

When you're an impostor, you expect to be exposed at any time. You feel that at some point, someone might appear and see you for the fraud you think you are.

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The Impostor Syndrome
The Impostor Syndrome

It is the feeling that you are not worthy of your designation, title, position or success.

Your accomplishments may be due to luck or effort, but you feel you lack the talent or skill ...

The Reality of Impostor Syndrome
  • The impostor syndrome is like a nagging feeling that our success might be due to luck, good timing, or even a computer error.
  • It makes us think we have done nothing, and that we secretly are a fraud for taking undue credit.
  • The person suffering from an impostor syndrome lives in fear that soon the 'secret' about his true nature will be uncovered.
Self-Efficacy is the Answer

The antidote to the impostor syndrome is self-efficacy, which is about learning one's own value.

Self-efficacy is described as a perceived ability to succeed at a particular task. It means having rock-solid confidence, a supercharged belief in your ability. 

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Journaling Before You Get Out of Bed
Journaling Before You Get Out of Bed

Try grabbing your notebook as soon as your alarm goes off and writing for a few minutes before your feet even hit the ground.

This way you know it will get done, and the activity first th...

Use a Journaling App

While many people recommend journaling in a physical notebook to give your brain a break from screens, if you’re having a hard time keeping up that practice, you can try using an app that you can whip out when you have an extra moment in the day.

Don’t Use Full Sentences

Feel free to have your journal as disjointed as you want.

Leo Babatua of ZenHabits says he only writes his journal in bullet points; just three to six per day. By making it this easy, he says it’s much more attainable for him to keep it up.

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