Yes, you don't want to come across as a ruthless networker by asking these 4 words to a complete stranger.Practice the following 8 words:How do you spend most of your time?This new wording gives them a choice of telling about work or leisure.

Never ask what do you do!

The power of visualization is indeed powerful. Visualise yourself as applying all the above techniques and everyone is gravitating towards you.

Mental Rehearsal

You can fine-tune your smile!Don't flash an immediate smile when you greet someone, instead look at the other person's face for a second. Pause. Soak in their persona and then let a warm smile hug your face. The split-second delay convinces people that your smile is genuine and ONLY FOR THEM.

THE FLOODING SMILE TECHNIQUE

Control unnecessary body movements if you want to come across as a credible person.

LIMIT THE FIDGET

While conversing ever faced with the deadlock of what to say next and a deafening pause and awkward smiles?Become a parrot and 'curiously' repeat the last few words your conversation partner just said. This can get the person in front of you again talking and all you need to do is to listen.

Parroting technique

Think what interest could this person have in my life?Tailor your "verbal" resume accordingly.Punch up you life to sound interesting, fun and impactful as the situation demands.Every job has some benefit to the society and putting a benefit statement just like sales people do can bring more life to your job.

Now how do you answer the above?

Don't use common words that you use already in your conversation.Make your vocabulary rich and creative to set yourself apart.Curate your personal thesaurus and replace your commonly used words with the "glorious" ones.Substitute a word a day for 2 months and you'll be in the verbally elite.

Can you Sound Smarter?

To enrich your social conversation, start every sentence with a 'You'.Address them with a 'you'.This gets a more positive response.

Comm-YOU-nication

This is the most common question we come across when we meet someone new. But most of us answer it wrong way. We mention the name of the city/town and assume people would know everything. Rather learn some engaging facts - history, geography, business stats and few fun facts about your place that the listeners can comment on. And most importantly, the hook should relate to the type of person who you are speaking to.

Where are you from?

You must share the sentiment of the receiver before sharing any bad news.Always keep your receiver in mind.Then deliver it with a smile, a sigh or a sob.Otherwise you would be called as 'insensitive'.

How To Share Bad News?

When you encounter someone, play a mind trick. Visualise him/her as your long-lost old friend. And you will amaze yourself. The delight of rediscovery fills your face, the air sparkles with energy, your body language buoys up. The difference is extraordinary.Love begets love, respect begets respect.

HEY! OLD FRIEND TECHNIQUE

You can come across as intelligent and insightful by deliberate eye-contact.When you meet someone new, make sure your eyes are glued to the conversation partner's eyes. Don't immediately break eye contact after they've finished talking. Make them feel they have captivated you.Epoxy eyes is often used when you want to understand reactions as a third-person. Watch your target person even when someone else is talking. It puts you in the position of a judge/evaluator, don't overdo it though. The major benefit is that your target thinks you are interested in him/her.

THE STICKY + EPOXY EYES TECHNIQUE

If the person you want to meet is not wearing a Whatzit, try to find more information about the person. And then use these facts and turn it into icebreakers.Now that you are ready with your set of ice-breaking questions, but you find the person engrossed in conversation with their own group. How do you break in that group?Stand behind the swarm of folks and open your ears. Wait for a word or two and use that as a wedge to break into the group.

Whoozat + Eavesdrop!!

Top communicators know ideas don't come out of nowhere. When talking with anyone, keep your ears open and listen for cues. Be on the lookout for clues and then spring on that topic like a sleuth.

Encore!This is what appreciative audiences chant when they want another performance. This is the sweetest sound that one would always want to hear."Tell them about a time when...", shines the spotlight on them and you get them up and running with their conversation.

Get them happily chatting!

It is not the outfit and hairs and accessories that need to be checked before heading to a party. You must stock up on latest news before leaving for the party. Actually not just for party, I would say before meeting anyone this should be the daily ritual.

Have something interesting to say always

Imagine a party of 500 people and a 3 year old crawling up to your feet and turning a precious face up to yours and beaming a toothless grin?Instantly, you would turn towards the baby and welcome with a beautiful big smile. Similarly, we need to address the inner babies within each of us when we meet new people.A warm smile, a total-body turn and undivided attention is all they need.Pivoting 100% towards the new person shouts "I think you are very, very special".

BIG BABY PIVOT TECHNIQUE

Watch your audience's reaction carefully and then plan your response.Express yourself but keep a keen eye on how the listener is reacting to what you say.

Hans' Horse Sense

There are times when you don't wish to respond to certain questions and they keep on asking you.In those cases, become like a broken record where you being unruffled simply repeat the same words in precisely the same tone of voice and keep on repeating on every unwelcome cross-examination.This would shut the heck up.

The Broken Record Technique 

The first step to start a conversation without strangling it is to match the mood and voice tone of the listener, maybe for a moment.

Make your posture the biggest success barometer. Winners stand with assurance, move with confidence, smile softly with pride.Habitual good posture is the first mark of a big winner.

LOOK LIKE A BIG WINNER

A whatzit is anything you wear or carry that is unusual and can potentially spark curiosity of others in a large gathering. It could be a social aid to seek business rewards or new friendships to new acquaintances, the list goes on.Likewise you need to develop a keen eye to spot the "Whatzit" in the people who you want to talk to, probably the CEO or the leader.

Wear/Spot a WhatZit

Communication is a superpower. Compiling my favourite tricks from the book.

"You'll not only break the ice, you'll melt it away with your new skills." -- Larry King "The lost art of verbal communication may be revitalized by Leil Lowndes." -- Harvey McKay, author of “How to Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive” What is that magic quality makes some people instantly loved and respected? Everyone wants to be their friend (or, if single, their lover!) In business, they rise swiftly to the top of the corporate ladder. What is their "Midas touch?" What it boils down to is a more skillful way of dealing with people. The author has spent her career teaching people how to communicate for success. In her book How to Talk to Anyone (Contemporary Books, October 2003) Lowndes offers 92 easy and effective sure-fire success techniques-- she takes the reader from first meeting all the way up to sophisticated techniques used by the big winners in life. In this information-packed book you’ll find: <ul><li>9 ways to make a dynamite first impression</li> <li>14 ways to master small talk, "big talk," and body language</li> <li>14 ways to walk and talk like a VIP or celebrity</li> <li>6 ways to sound like an insider in any crowd</li> <li>7 ways to establish deep subliminal rapport with anyone</li> <li>9 ways to feed someone's ego (and know when NOT to!)</li> <li>11 ways to make your phone a powerful communications tool</li> <li>15 ways to work a party like a politician works a room</li> <li>7 ways to talk with tigers and not get eaten alive </li></ul> In her trademark entertaining and straight-shooting style, Leil gives the techniques catchy names so you'll remember them when you really need them, including: "Rubberneck the Room," "Be a Copyclass," "Come Hither Hands," “Bare Their Hot Button,” “The Great Scorecard in the Sky," and "Play the Tombstone Game,” for big success in your social life, romance, and business. How to Talk to Anyone, which is an update of her popular book, Talking the Winner's Way (see the 5-star reviews of the latter) is based on solid research about techniques that work! By the way, don't confuse How to Talk to Anyone with one of Leil's previous books, How to Talk to Anybody About Anything. This one is completely different!

books

Books

Leil Lowndes is an author and internationally recognized communications expert who specializes in subconscious interactions. She has conducted hundreds of seminars in the US and around the world for major corporations, associations, and the general public, and frequently appears as a guest expert on national television shows and major news networks. She has authored ten bestselling books on communications — most recently, How to Talk to Anyone at Work: 72 Little Tricks for Big Success Communicating on the Job — and is published in over 26 foreign languages. She lives in New York City.

Never ask what do you do!

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