"The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury."

Communicate with clarity and simplicity to resolve conflicts. Marcus Aurelius practiced counter-rhetoric, emphasizing clear and unemotional language to promote understanding and reduce conflict.Avoid emotional triggers in discussions to maintain objectivity. By speaking plainly and avoiding inflammatory language, you can create a calm, rational atmosphere that encourages mutual respect and resolution.

Use Counter-Rhetoric to Foster Productive Communication

"Pain is either an evil to the body - in which case let the body say what it thinks of it - or to the soul."

"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one."

"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts."

Practicing voluntary hardship builds resilience and gratitude. By intentionally facing discomforts, like taking cold showers, you prepare yourself for unexpected challenges and develop a deeper appreciation for life's comforts.Preparing for adversity helps you handle stress better. Stoics like Marcus Aurelius believed in premeditating adversity to condition their minds, making them more adaptable and less stressed when real hardships arise.

Embrace Voluntary Hardship to Appreciate the Good Things in Life

"Difficulty shows what men are."

"The best advice is this: Don’t take advice and don’t give advice."

Understanding the temporary nature of life alleviates anxiety. Marcus Aurelius accepted that all things, including his legacy, would eventually be forgotten, which allowed him to make more rational and less ego-driven decisions.Letting go of the desire for immortality leads to better living. By focusing on virtuous actions rather than eternal fame, you can live a more fulfilling and stress-free life.

Accept the Impermanence of Life

Surround yourself with people who provide honest feedback. Marcus Aurelius consistently sought constructive criticism from mentors and close advisors to stay aligned with his ideals and responsibilities.Imaginary mentors can guide you when real ones aren’t available. Even without actual mentors, Aurelius used the concept of imaginary mentors to reflect on his actions and decisions, maintaining his commitment to virtue.

Value Mentorship and Constructive Criticism for Personal Accountability

"Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one."

"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."

Stoics practiced enduring discomfort to build resilience. Marcus Aurelius managed chronic pain by accepting it as a natural part of life and focusing on what he could control.Gradual exposure to discomfort prepares you for life's challenges. Practicing voluntary hardships builds mental and physical strength, making it easier to handle inevitable pain and adversity.

Make Peace with Physical Pain Through Controlled Practice

Stoicism emphasizes responding thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively. Marcus Aurelius believed in acknowledging emotions without letting them dictate his actions, which led to a more composed and rational life.Acceptance of reality is crucial for inner peace. Instead of resisting or denying life’s challenges, Stoics accept them as natural occurrences and focus on what they can control.

Choose Your Reactions Wisely and Accept Reality Joyfully

Stoics prioritize living a life aligned with nature. This philosophy asserts that living according to nature's laws leads to a fulfilling and rational life. It’s about accepting the world as it is, not as we wish.Understanding and accepting fate is central to Stoic beliefs. Marcus Aurelius and other Stoics viewed their circumstances as natural and embraced them without resentment, which they believed was the rational way to live.

Embrace Living in Harmony with Nature

Controlling emotions is key to maintaining stability. Marcus Aurelius used Stoic practices to manage his temper and maintain a balanced emotional state, achieving what Stoics define as authentic happiness.Stoic practices like cognitive distancing help manage emotional responses. This technique involves stepping back from one’s immediate feelings to respond with reason and logic, leading to more thoughtful and less impulsive reactions.

Master Your Emotions to Achieve Authentic Happiness

"It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live."

Stoicism is grounded in four cardinal virtues: wisdom, morality, courage, and moderation. These virtues form a framework for dealing with life's challenges and maintaining inner peace.Practicing these virtues leads to personal growth. By consistently choosing actions that align with these virtues, you develop a reliable moral compass, enhancing your ability to handle life’s unpredictabilities.

Cultivate Virtue for a Reliable Moral Compass

"How to Think Like a Roman Emperor" (2019) delves into the principles of Stoicism through the life and writings of Marcus Aurelius. As a revered Roman emperor, his leadership qualities were deeply influenced by Stoic philosophy, which also offers timeless lessons for personal growth today.

"This book is a wonderful introduction to one of history's greatest figures: Marcus Aurelius. His life and this book are a clear guide for those facing adversity, seeking tranquility and pursuing excellence." —Ryan Holiday, bestselling author of The Obstacle is the Way and The Daily Stoic The life-changing principles of Stoicism taught through the story of its most famous proponent. Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius was the last famous Stoic philosopher of the ancient world. The Meditations, his personal journal, survives to this day as one of the most loved self-help and spiritual classics of all time. In How to Think Like a Roman Emperor, cognitive psychotherapist Donald Robertson weaves the life and philosophy of Marcus Aurelius together seamlessly to provide a compelling modern-day guide to the Stoic wisdom followed by countless individuals throughout the centuries as a path to achieving greater fulfillment and emotional resilience. How to Think Like a Roman Emperor takes readers on a transformative journey along with Marcus, following his progress from a young noble at the court of Hadrian—taken under the wing of some of the finest philosophers of his day—through to his reign as emperor of Rome at the height of its power. Robertson shows how Marcus used philosophical doctrines and therapeutic practices to build emotional resilience and endure tremendous adversity, and guides readers through applying the same methods to their own lives. Combining remarkable stories from Marcus’s life with insights from modern psychology and the enduring wisdom of his philosophy, How to Think Like a Roman Emperor puts a human face on Stoicism and offers a timeless and essential guide to handling the ethical and psychological challenges we face today.

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Author of books on philosophy and psychotherapy, including Stoicism and the Art of Happiness, How to Think Like a Roman Emperor, and the graphic novel Verissimus. I'm a philosopher and psychotherapist with a special interest in Stoicism and CBT. I was born in Scotland, but now live in Canada and Greece. 

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NELSON MANDELA

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