Create a sense of deep connection with someone even if you’ve just met. Confuse their thoughts by skipping the usual small talk and going straight to the deeper stuff. Make them feel emotional by using the magic words we, us, and our.

"THE PREMATURE WE"

Once a month, shake things up! Try something completely new. Join a sport, attend an exhibition, or listen to a lecture on a topic you’ve never heard of. You’ll learn a lot "lingo" or vocabulary just from one experience.

"SCRAMBLE THERAPY"

Have you ever noticed how echoing can be a really effective way to connect with someone? It’s all about repeating what they say, but not just the words, but also the way they say them. When you do that, it creates a sense of rapport and understanding. It makes them feel like you’re on the same page, like you share their values and interests.

"ECHOING"

Never let the phrase “thank you” stand alone. Always follow it with “for”: from “Thank you for asking” to “Thank you for zipping me up.”

"NEVER THE NAKED THANK YOU"

"Show sincere interest and people will talk"

Whenever you attend a social event, bring something unique to wear or carry. This way, people who spot you can strike up a conversation with an interesting story about your unusual accessory. “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice your… what is that?”

"ALWAYS WEAR A WHATZIT"

<ul><li>If you’re dealing with visual people, consider using visual empathizers to help them understand that you see the world the same way they do.</li><li>For those who prefer auditory communication, auditory empathizers can help them feel heard and understood.</li><li>And for kinesthetic individuals, kinesthetic empathizers can make them feel like you share their physical sensations.</li></ul>

"ANATOMICALLY CORRECT EMPATHIZERS"

"Make sure your message reflects three Cs:Confidence, Clarity, and Credibility."

Don’t sweat your first words! In fact, mostly of what your listeners think about you has nothing to do with what you say. Just be yourself, and let your personality shine through. Even if your words are simple, if you have a warm and friendly tone, and if you speak with enthusiasm, you’ll come across as interesting and engaging. Takeaway: "people tune in to your tone more than your text."

"PROSAIC WITH PASSION"

7 tricks on how to boost your conversation

"You'll not only break the ice, you'll melt it away with your new skills." -- Larry King "The lost art of verbal communication may be revitalized by Leil Lowndes." -- Harvey McKay, author of “How to Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive” What is that magic quality makes some people instantly loved and respected? Everyone wants to be their friend (or, if single, their lover!) In business, they rise swiftly to the top of the corporate ladder. What is their "Midas touch?" What it boils down to is a more skillful way of dealing with people. The author has spent her career teaching people how to communicate for success. In her book How to Talk to Anyone (Contemporary Books, October 2003) Lowndes offers 92 easy and effective sure-fire success techniques-- she takes the reader from first meeting all the way up to sophisticated techniques used by the big winners in life. In this information-packed book you’ll find: <ul><li>9 ways to make a dynamite first impression</li> <li>14 ways to master small talk, "big talk," and body language</li> <li>14 ways to walk and talk like a VIP or celebrity</li> <li>6 ways to sound like an insider in any crowd</li> <li>7 ways to establish deep subliminal rapport with anyone</li> <li>9 ways to feed someone's ego (and know when NOT to!)</li> <li>11 ways to make your phone a powerful communications tool</li> <li>15 ways to work a party like a politician works a room</li> <li>7 ways to talk with tigers and not get eaten alive </li></ul> In her trademark entertaining and straight-shooting style, Leil gives the techniques catchy names so you'll remember them when you really need them, including: "Rubberneck the Room," "Be a Copyclass," "Come Hither Hands," “Bare Their Hot Button,” “The Great Scorecard in the Sky," and "Play the Tombstone Game,” for big success in your social life, romance, and business. How to Talk to Anyone, which is an update of her popular book, Talking the Winner's Way (see the 5-star reviews of the latter) is based on solid research about techniques that work! By the way, don't confuse How to Talk to Anyone with one of Leil's previous books, How to Talk to Anybody About Anything. This one is completely different!

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Communication

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Love & Relationships

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Books

Leil Lowndes is an author and internationally recognized communications expert who specializes in subconscious interactions. She has conducted hundreds of seminars in the US and around the world for major corporations, associations, and the general public, and frequently appears as a guest expert on national television shows and major news networks. She has authored ten bestselling books on communications — most recently, How to Talk to Anyone at Work: 72 Little Tricks for Big Success Communicating on the Job — and is published in over 26 foreign languages. She lives in New York City.

DALE CARNEGIE

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