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How to Develop Your Charisma and Become More Likable
Practice Mirroring
Match the other person's physical mannerisms and energy level, and you'll notice how well they'll respond to it. You don't need to agree with what they say or do, the mirroring itself can increase your likability.
You can also mirror the qualities that you find likable in others. You don't need to copy them, but learn their secrets, try them on and adapt them until they fit you.
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Key Ideas
Learning To Be Charismatic
Charisma is about what you say and do as opposed to who you really are as a person. Your subconscious, social cues, physical expression, and the way you treat others all play a part in developing your charisma.
Developing charisma is a process that involves looking carefully at yourself and fine-tuning your communication.
Presence As A Charisma Tool
Presence is necessary for charisma and it’s all about being truly engaged with others and showing them that they have your complete attention. Without presence, you can come across as just wanting to show off.
Shut down your ego, and pay attention to and focus on every word that others say.
Develop A Sense Of Confidence
People like confident individuals, even if their other qualities are less attractive. Developing confidence is a balancing act as you don't want to be arrogant, but you also don't want to come across as timid or scared.
Exercising regularly, dressing in clothes that make you feel good, and talking about the things you understand well can help you build and maintain confidence.
The Basics Of Conversation
Control the flow of conversation and make others feel comfortable:
- Think of things you would and wouldn’t like to talk about and use that as an initial guide.
- Be nice, as opposed to trying to sound brilliant.
- Tell stories.
- Ask questions.
- Know how to get people on the same level.
- Use humor as a tool. Keep jokes you are unsure of to yourself.
- Remember that the way something said is more important than what is said.
Practice Effective Eye Contact
Proper eye contact can express that you're invested, listening and accepting of the other, while looking down or constantly shifting your gaze shows lack of interest and focus. Too much or too little eye contact can be off-putting, experiment to find the right amount.
Be Expressive With Your Body
- Don’t stand stiff. It makes you look less interesting.
- Smile to seem more approachable and likable.
- People enjoy being around those who are expressive and use appropriately responsive gestures.
- Nodding shows that you're listening, but nodding too much gives the impression you’re faking interest.
- If you lose awareness of your mannerisms, stop and assess what your body is doing to become more self-aware and then adjust accordingly.
Practice Mirroring
Match the other person's physical mannerisms and energy level, and you'll notice how well they'll respond to it. You don't need to agree with what they say or do, the mirroring itself can increase your likability.
You can also mirror the qualities that you find likable in others. You don't need to copy them, but learn their secrets, try them on and adapt them until they fit you.
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Charisma is a skill
Charisma, defined as that irresistible magnetism some people possess, is often thought of as trait you’re born with (you either have it or you don’t).
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Charismatic behaviors
There are 3 keys to being charismatic:
- you need to be present in the moment when engaging with others.
- you need to give off warmth by implying goodwill toward others.
- you need to appear powerful by coming across as someone capable of affecting the world around you.
Being memorable
... by making a graceful exit. Offer the other person something of value before you go:
- Information: an article, book, or web site you think might be of use to them.
- A connection: someone they ought to meet, whom you know and can introduce them to.
- Visibility: an organization you belong to, where you could invite them to speak.
- Recognition: an award you think they should be nominated for
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Key Ideas
Be a Professional Cheerleader
Charismatic people offer encouragement instead of skeptically listening to people’s goals and ideas. Find ways to encourage people while still holding them accountable:
Charismatic People Bring People Together
Charismatic people have lots of connections and share them regularly. Highly charismatic people are not only great at meeting new people, but also sharing their talent with their connections by introducing people who they know will get along well.
This quality is part of the reason charismatic people are such sought after connections; they spread their social wealth.
Likability is Key To Your Own Charisma
Likable leaders earn the trust of their team members and treat them well, and that makes the team’s performance better.
Teams with likable leaders tend to be more stable long-term because of lower turnover rates and are also better with changes since they are more likely to have employees committing to adopting to new ways.
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Tips for being more likeable in social situations
- Don't overshare your whole life's story.
Actually listen to what people say. Then respond accordingly.
Remember people's name...