Styles of Parenting

Styles of Parenting

Your parenting style determines who your child will become. The way you interact with and discipline them, will be the influence they carry with them, now and into adulthood.

Researchers have identified four types of parenting styles:

  • Authoritarian
  • Authoritative
  • Permissive
  • Uninvolved

Each one takes a different approach to raising kids and can be identified by various characteristics.

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4 Types of Parenting Styles and Their Effects on Kids

verywellfamily.com

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The Best Parenting Style

In reality, parents just don’t fit into one specific category. Situations rise where you may need to change your style, and that’s okay.

The studies are clear, however, that authoritative parenting is the best style.

With hard work and dedication to being the best parent you can be, you can maintain a healthy and positive relationship with your child while still establishing your authority.

Over time, your family will reap the benefits of a more authoritative style.

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Permissive Parenting
  • You set rules but rarely enforce them.
  • You don't give out consequences very often.
  • You think your child will learn best with little interference from you.

These parents are lenient, only stepping in if there's a serious problem. When consequences are used, they don’t usually stick.

They take on more of a friend role than a parent. They encourage their children to talk with them about their problems, but they don't put much effort into discouraging poor choices or bad behavior. 

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Uninvolved Parenting
  • You don't ask your child about school or homework.
  • You rarely know where your child is or who she is with.
  • You don't spend much time with your child.

These parents tend to have little knowledge of what their children are doing. There are few rules. Children may not receive much guidance, nurturing, or attention.

They expect children to raise themselves, and don't put much time or energy into meeting children's basic needs. Uninvolved parents may be neglectful, but it's not always intentional.

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Authoritative Parenting
  • You put a lot of effort into creating and maintaining a positive relationship with your child.
  • You explain the reasons behind your rules.
  • You enforce rules and give consequences, but take your child's feelings into consideration. 

These parents acknowledge their child’s feelings, while also making it clear that the adults are ultimately in charge. 

They invest time and energy into preventing behavior problems before they start and use positive discipline strategies to reinforce good behavior.

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Authoritarian Parenting
  • You believe kids should be seen and not heard.
  • When it comes to rules, you believe it's "my way or the highway."
  • You don't take your child's feelings into consideration.

These parents believe kids should follow the rules without exception, or suffer the consequences. Their focus is on obedience, so there’s no place for negotiating. They use punishment over discipline.

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Being involved without smothering your kids

In Dr Haim Ginott's book Parents & Teenagers, teenagers used helicopter parenting to describe how their parents hovered over them like helicopters.

Helicopter parenting refers to a type of parents who are overly focused on their children. They usually take excessive responsibility for their children's experiences, specifically their successes or failures.

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Parenting styles

There are many parenting styles that are part of a parent's toolbox, such as free-range, helicopter, authoritarian, snowplough, tiger style.

Each style uses a different tactic to raise children. However, parents seldom only use one tool when raising their children. More often, they use every tool at their disposal to get through.

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Why the Best Parenting Style Isn't One Style at All, But Many

parents.com

...so many people declare they have it:

  • If they are open minded and flexible, they said they have it
  • If they are kind to people, they said they have it 

But a growth mindset is not something you declare, it’s a really difficult journey you take over a long period of time.

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Growth Mindset: How To Make Sure Your Kids Have Grit - Barking Up The Wrong Tree

bakadesuyo.com