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... and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.”
“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender.
The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”
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It needed help figuring out its problems.
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... “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”
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A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
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Happy mood boosters: Here are some short jokes to get anyone giggling.
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He leaned forward in his chair. ‘May I give you some advice? If you are truly his friend you will help him leave his soft heart behind. He’s going to Troy to kill men, not rescue them.’ His dark eyes held me like swift-running current. ‘He is a weapon, a killer. Do not forget it....
That means if someone close to you asks, “How are things?” You respond with, “I feel like dog shit,” not with, “Oh, I’m greeeeeeat,” and then run away to cry into your cereal bowl and wonder why nobody in the world cares about you. - Mark Manson
And that resonated so much in me, that every time someone does me wrong now, yes, I’m human, I get hurt, but the pain is not what it used to be, because I’m like: “You know what? I’m sure God answered their prayer through me.”
And then I look ...
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