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10 Ways to Overcome Fear of Missing Out
Go for the experience, not the symbol
There are always going to be people we admire and perhaps envy. It’s “the grass is greener on the other side” syndrome.
Focusing on the experience—a feeling of accomplishment, adventure, connection, fun, self-respect, freedom—that underlies the object or symbol—wealth, marriage, a sports car, a luxurious home—helps us distinguish what is truly fulfilling from that which can only provide a temporary feeling of pleasure.
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Key Ideas
FOMO Comes From Unhappiness
You’re not feeling so great — whether you realize it or not — and you turn to social media to make you feel better. Only one problem there: it actually makes you feel worse…
The Facebook Illusion
We all know that Facebook doesn’t provide a very well-rounded picture of people’s lives. It’s more like the cherry-picked perfection version.
People with FOMO have ambivalent feelings toward Facebook. It brings them up when they post about their own carefully edited version of life awesomeness, and slams them back down when they feel they have to compete with other people's lifestyle awesomeness - especially when they're feeling a little down or anxious themselves.
The Problem Is Attention
Looking at social media for happiness is a bad idea. You won’t find it out there. Your happiness is determined by how you allocate your attention. What you attend to drives your behavior and it determines your happiness.
Changing behavior and enhancing happiness is as much about withdrawing attention from the negative as it is about attending to the positive.
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Key Ideas
FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
FOMO is the experience of worrying that other people are doing more interesting things than you, have more friends than you, and are just all around living a better and cooler life.
The prime source of FOMO is of course social media, which allows you to peruse the highlights of other people’s lives in real time.
What you really wish to do
Choosing one path means missing another.
When you feel FOMO coming on, ask yourself if the trigger is really something you wish you were doing yourself, or if the sudden recollection of the great number of choices in life has simply brought on a moment of insecurity about your own.
If it’s the latter, taking a moment to reaffirm your decision is all it takes to chase the FOMO away.
The need for a change
Keep in mind that your FOMO trigger may not relate directly to something you wish you were doing yourself, but can instead point more broadly to something you want to change about your life.
Examine the source of your FOMO before dismissing it; there may be a good reason you feel insecure about your decisions.
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Key Ideas
The "Fear" in FOMO
Living with constant or recurring fear, from post-traumatic stress to paranoia to FOMO, doesn’t improve life quality; it just makes us haunted and tense.
Our task is to live in a FOMO-plagued world without catching the virus.
FOMO is based on lies
When you feel FOMO coming on, remind yourself that practically every image you see on practically any screen is likely misleading.
The human experience depicted by the media is never the whole truth — and often an outright lie.
Fight FOMO with FOMO
What if we let FOMO mean something else?
- Fear of Moving On. With this definition, you remind yourself that fixating on things you may be missing is just another way of resisting your own life, your own unfolding destiny.
- Find One Magnificent Object. When FOMO strikes, let it prompt you to contemplate something wonderful: the sun, a bowl of soup, your own hand.
- Feel Okay More Often. Realize that simple equanimity, along with the enjoyment of small things, is the healthy diet that yields sustainable happiness.
Try inventing your own FOMO definition.