No one is permanently successful, and not everyone finds success on the first attempt. We all deal with setbacks along the way. Ego not only leaves us unprepared for these circumstances, it often contributed to their occurence in the first place. If success is ego intoxication then failure can be a devastating blow.

Ego in Failure

At any given time in life, people find themselves at one of three stages.<ul><li>We are aspiring to something - trying to make a dent in the universe.</li><li>We have achieved success - perhaps a little, perhaps a lot.</li><li>Or we have failed - recently or continually.</li></ul>Ego is the enemy every step along this way.

Understanding Ego in Different Stages of Life

In this taste/talent gap situation, ego can seem comforting. Who wants to look at themselves and their work and find it does not measure up? And so here we might bluster our way through. Or, we can face our shortcomings honestly and put the time in. We can let this humble us, see clearly where we are talented and where we need to improve, and then put in the work to bridge that gap.

Ego in Taste/Talent Gap Situation

If your purpose is something larger than you - to accomplish something, to prove something to yourself - then suddenly everything becomes both easier and harder. Easier in the sense that you know now what it is you need to do and what is important to you. Harder because each opportunity - no matter how gratifying or rewarding - must be evaluated along strict guidelines: Does this help me do what I have set out to do?

To Be or To Do

Ego can be defined as the sense of superiority and certainty that exceeds the bounds of confidence and talent. It's when the notion of ourselves and the world grows so inflated that it begins to distort the reality that surrounds us.

What matters to an active man is to do the right thing; whether the right thing comes to pass should not bother him.

One of the symptoms of approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

Remove the Hat of Entitlement

We start out knowing what is important to us, but once we have achieved it, we lose sight of our priorities. All of us regularly say yes unthinkingly, or out of vague attraction, or out of greed or vanity. We think "yes" will let us accomplish more, when in reality it prevents exactly what we seek. Ego rejects trade offs. Why? Ego wants it all.

Ego Driven Distractions

Accordoing to Seneca, the Greek word euthymia meaning tranquility is one we should think of often: it is the sense of own path and how to stay on it without getting distracted by all the others that intersect it.

Seneca's Euthymia

Too often convinced of own intelligence, we stay in a comfort zone that we never feel stupid and are never challenged to learn or reconsider what we know. It obscures from view various weknesses in our understanding, until eventually it's too late to change course.

Ego Driven Resistance

We seem to think that silence is a sign of weakness. That being ignored is tantamount to death and for ego, this is true. Research shows that while goal visualization is important, after a certain point our mind begins to confuse it with actual progress.

Misconception Regarding Silence

In most cases, we think that people become successful through sheer energy and enthusiasm. We almost excuse ego because we think it's part and parcel of the personality required to "make it big". Maybe a bit of over-poweringness is what got you where you are. But let's ask: Is it really sustainable for the next several decades? Can you really outwork and outrun everyone forever?

Maintain Sobriety

The way through, the way to rise again, requires a reorientation and increased self-awareness. We don't need pity - our own or anyone else's - we need purpose, poise and patience. It's far better when doing good work is sufficient. In other words, the less attached we are to outcome is better.

Failure is Part of the Process

When we are striving for something it's a temptation that exists for everyone - for talk and hype to replace action. At the beginning of any path, we are excited and nervous. So we seek to comfort ourselves externally instead of inwardly. This side we call ego.

Talk and Hype to Replace Action

Success is intoxicating, yet to sustain it requires sobriety. We can't keep learning if we think we already know everything. We can't buy into myths we make ourselves, or the noise and chatter of the outside world.

Ego in Success

The pretense of knowledge is our most dangerous vice, because it prevents us from getting any better. Studious self-assessment is the antidote.

We don't like thinking that someone is better than us or that we have a lot left to learn. For this reason, updating your appraisal of your talents in a downward direction is one of the most difficult things to do in life - it is always the component of mastery.

Become a Student

Ira Glass states that all of us who do creative work . . . we get into it because we have good taste. But it's like there's a gap, that for the first couple years that you are making stuff, what you are making isn't so good . . . It's really not that great. It's trying to be good, it has ambition to be good, but it's not quite that good. But your taste - the thing that got you into the game - your taste is still killer, and your taste is good enought that you can tell that what you are making is kind of a disappointment to you.

Taste/Talent Gap

The instant Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and international bestseller “While the history books are filled with tales of obsessive visionary geniuses who remade the world in their image with sheer, almost irrational force, I’ve found that history is also made by individuals who fought their egos at every turn, who eschewed the spotlight, and who put their higher goals above their desire for recognition.” —from the prologue Many of us insist the main impediment to a full, successful life is the outside world. In fact, the most common enemy lies within: our ego. Early in our careers, it impedes learning and the cultivation of talent. With success, it can blind us to our faults and sow future problems. In failure, it magnifies each blow and makes recovery more difficult. At every stage, ego holds us back. Ego Is the Enemy draws on a vast array of stories and examples, from literature to philosophy to his­tory. We meet fascinating figures such as George Marshall, Jackie Robinson, Katharine Graham, Bill Belichick, and Eleanor Roosevelt, who all reached the highest levels of power and success by con­quering their own egos. Their strategies and tactics can be ours as well. In an era that glorifies social media, reality TV, and other forms of shameless self-promotion, the battle against ego must be fought on many fronts. Armed with the lessons in this book, as Holiday writes, “you will be less invested in the story you tell about your own specialness, and as a result, you will be liberated to accomplish the world-changing work you’ve set out to achieve.”

philosophy

Philosophy

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

books

Books

The instant Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and international bestseller “While the history books are filled with tales of obsessive visionary geniuses who remade the world in their image with sheer, almost irrational force, I’ve found that history is also made by individuals who fought their egos at every turn, who eschewed the spotlight, and who put their higher goals above their desire for recognition.” —from the prologue   Many of us insist the main impediment to a full, successful life is the outside world. In fact, the most common enemy lies within: our ego. Early in our careers, it impedes learning and the cultivation of talent. With success, it can blind us to our faults and sow future problems. In failure, it magnifies each blow and makes recovery more difficult. At every stage, ego holds us back.   Ego Is the Enemy draws on a vast array of stories and examples, from literature to philosophy to his­tory. We meet fascinating figures such as George Marshall, Jackie Robinson, Katharine Graham, Bill Belichick, and Eleanor Roosevelt, who all reached the highest levels of power and success by con­quering their own egos. Their strategies and tactics can be ours as well.   In an era that glorifies social media, reality TV, and other forms of shameless self-promotion, the battle against ego must be fought on many fronts. Armed with the lessons in this book, as Holiday writes, “you will be less invested in the story you tell about your own specialness, and as a result, you will be liberated to accomplish the world-changing work you’ve set out to achieve.”

Ryan Holiday is media strategist for notorious clients like Tucker Max and Dov Charney. After dropping out of college at 19 to apprentice under the strategist Robert Greene, he went on to advise many bestselling authors and multi-platinum musicians. He is the Director of Marketing at American Apparel, where his work in advertising was internationally known. His strategies are used as case studies by Twitter, YouTube, and Google, and have been written about in AdAge, the New York Times, Gawker, and Fast Company. He is the author is *Trust Me, I'm Lying: Confessions of a Media Manipulator*, which is due out in July. He currently lives in New Orleans, with his rebellious puppy, Hanno.