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How to Be a More Positive Person, According to Experts | Time

Reframe or divert

The first step in approaching a negative situation with an optimistic outlook is to accept what you can’t change.

Once you’ve done that, you have 2 options: reframe ( look for an opportunity instead of ruminating on the loss ) or divert (shift your focus to something else).

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How to Be a More Positive Person, According to Experts | Time

How to Be a More Positive Person, According to Experts | Time

https://time.com/5429498/how-to-be-more-positive-person/

time.com

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Key Ideas

Reframe or divert

The first step in approaching a negative situation with an optimistic outlook is to accept what you can’t change.

Once you’ve done that, you have 2 options: reframe ( look for an opportunity instead of ruminating on the loss ) or divert (shift your focus to something else).

Savor the good

Noticing and savoring the pleasant moments and thinking, "Wow, this is really great "can strengthen positive emotions.

In general, we tend to dwell on the negative side and not notice the positive things we experience.

Set reminders

Write yourself a message on a sticky note and attach it to your computer screen at work (an inspirational quote, a reminder to smile, etc).

Small reminders like these help keep positivity front and center in your life.

Do something nice for someone else

One of the fastest, most effective ways to feel happier is to show someone kindness.

In a 2017 study by Oxford University, researchers found that performing acts of kindness for just seven days had a measurable, positive effect on well-being and positive social emotion.

Phone a friend

Most optimists have strong, supportive relationships. The comfort of knowing you don’t have to do everything by yourself contributes to long-term happiness.

You don’t have to have a lot of them, but you have to have around you people you trust and trust you back. 

Say thanks

Thinking about what you’re grateful for can instantly improve your mood.

It works because our interpretation of events influences our emotions more than the events themselves.

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Know your context

It’s important to first consider where you are trying to make a good impression—whether it’s a formal job interview or a dinner date. 

Context matters. It gives you cues as to how you should dress, speak, look and behave, in a way that matches the setting you are entering to. That is a key aspects of making a good impression. 

Adjust your attitude

Try not to look bored, rude or hostile.

A useful attitude is welcoming, curious and enthusiastic: smile, make eye contact long enough to notice the color of that person’s eyes, sit without crossing your arms or legs. This project a positive, open warm impression.

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Manipulation

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Common Types Manipulators

The two most common types of manipulators are bullies and “victims”.

Bullies make you feel fearful and might use aggression, threats and intimidation to control you, while “victims” engenders a feeling of guilt in their target by acting hurt when denied something.

Gaslighting

The term refers to manipulation that gets people to question themselves, their reality, memory or thoughts. Gaslighters twist what you say and make it about them, hijacking the conversation or making you feel like you’ve done something wrong when you haven’t.

Gaslighted people often feel a false sense of guilt or defensiveness, as if they failed completely or did something wrong when they didn’t.

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Find your WHY

Highly motivated people ask themselves: WHY do I do what I do?

If you know WHY you do what you do, and it matters deeply to you, then you will find your strength in any situation.

Your beliefs about what’s possible

Many people don’t really lack motivation, they lack models of what’s possible - they have limiting beliefs of what’s achievable. 

That’s why inspirational stories and role models can be so powerful: they open our eyes to a whole new realm of possibilities.

Change your limiting beliefs

Limiting beliefs show up in our minds in insidious ways. 

For example, we might tell ourselves: "That’s not me; I can’t do that; or, I’m not good enough."

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