"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."

"Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."

"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."

"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."

"A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds."

"Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody."

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.'

"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old."

"The most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."

"Only two things we'll regret on deathbed that we are a little loved and little traveled."

"The truth must be served like a coat, and not thrown in the face like a wet towel."

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear not absence of fear."

"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."

"Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain."

"Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been."

"Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid."

"The lack of money is the root of all evil."

"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you.This is the principal difference between a dog and man."

"Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day."

"Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied."

"To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with."

"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."

"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read."

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."

"The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter."

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in 7 years."

"Buy land, they're not making it anymore."

"Honesty the best of all the lost arts."

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which

"Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."

"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it."

"Loyalty to country always! Loyalty to government, when it deserves it."

MARK TWAIN

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