"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."

"Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."

"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."

"A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds."

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.'

"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old."

"The most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."

"Only two things we'll regret on deathbed that we are a little loved and little traveled."

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear not absence of fear."

"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."

"Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain."

"Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid."

"The lack of money is the root of all evil."

"Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day."

"Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied."

"To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with."

"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."

"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read."

"The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter."

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in 7 years."

"Buy land, they're not making it anymore."

"Honesty the best of all the lost arts."

"Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."

"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it."

"Loyalty to country always! Loyalty to government, when it deserves it."