“Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.”-Groucho Marx

Number 12

“If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.”-Groucho Marx

Number 4

“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”-Groucho Marx

Number 16

“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.”-Groucho Marx

Number 10

“Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.”-Groucho Marx

Number 19

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.”-Groucho Marx

Number 20

Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx (1890 – 1977) was an American comedian, actor, writer, stage, film, radio, television star and vaudeville performer. He is generally considered to have been a master of quick wit and one of America's greatest comedians.

20 Entertaining Groucho Marx Quotations

“If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”-Groucho Marx

Number 2

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”-Groucho Marx

Number 5

“Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.”-Groucho Marx

Number 1

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.”-Groucho Marx

Number 14

“While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.”-Groucho Marx

Number 17

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”-Groucho Marx

Number 7

“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member”-Groucho Marx

Number 8

“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.”-Groucho Marx

Number 11

“I intend to live forever, or die trying.”-Groucho Marx

Number 6

“I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.”-Groucho Marx

Number 3

“I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.”-Groucho Marx

Number 9

“There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says "yes" you know he is a crook.”-Groucho Marx

Number 13

“Be open minded, but not so open minded that your brains fall out.”-Groucho Marx

Number 11

Similar ideas to Number 11

Number 6

Number 10

Number 19