Seeing as how Claire is both beautiful and disappointed regularly, Phil adopted his own philosophy. It's funny to see Claire's reaction to this.

8. Marry someone who looks sexy while disappointed.

This advise is funny but also depressing. Haley was making a new start and attending a school where she knew no one. She is accustomed to being the popular girl with lot of friends and boyfriends, but in college, she had to start from scratch.

6. Take a lesson from parakeets: if you are feeling lonely just eat in front of a mirror.

Gloria didn't look impressed after reading this Phil's advice. It is is self-explanatory, which is why it's hilarious.

11. You can tell a lot about a person from his biography.

Inspired from the quote "If you love something, set it free"  with a funny twist as always.

13. If you love something, set it free, unless it's a tiger.

The last one and personally my favorite one.(Comment down your favorite Phil's-oshopy). The way Phil reads it is genius and hilarious. His love for life is infectious.

15. When life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life will be all like Whaaaat?

Another piece of wisdom that is humorous because of the world play .Also note that whenever Phil thinks of a new invention(crazy ones mostly) or word, he adds the ™ at the end.

7. Never Be Afraid To Reach For The Stars, Because Even If You Fall, You'll Always Be Wearing A Parentchute™.

“Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration,” said by Thomas Edison. Hence, the last line of this advise got me:).

10. Success is 1% inspiration, 98%  perspiration and 2% attention to detail.

Just for fun and to pass time I think. Classic Phil Dunphy.

14. If you are ever into a jam, a crayon scrunched upon under your nose makes a good pretend moustache.

This one is really touching and inspiring!

4. The most amazing things that can happen to a human being will happen to you if you just lower your expectations.

I really didn't get the idea behind this one. May be in the show he had a thing for black ladies or it is just a fact. Feel free to comment about this quote.

9. Older black ladies make the best ice tea.

This way of life characterizes Phil Dunphy. Playing with words is something he enjoys doing. William Hurt has been in movies like Into The Wild, A History of Violence, Broadcast News, some Marvel movies and much more.

5. Dance until your feet hurt, sing until your lungs hurt, act until you´re William Hurt.

Claire's reaction is a treat to watch. What's humiliating to Claire isn't necessarily humiliating to Phil.

2. If you get pulled over for speeding, tell the police officer your spouse has diarrhea.

Ty Burrell who plays Phil Dunphy in one of his interviews said this is his favorite among all the phil's-osophies.

1. Always look people in the eye, even if they are blind. Just say “I´m looking you in the eye”.

The following 15 quotes/philosophies are said by Phil Dunphy from the show Modern Family(2009-2020). He as a present to his daughter Haley, gives her a book of advices called Phil's-osophy- a hardbound collections of all the life lessons Phil learned.

About

Julia Child was a famous chef, author, and television personality. She made French cuisine accessible to American audiences and had a large impact on American households and housewives. There is a hilarious SNL skit on her named "The French Chef", you can check that out.

3. You only get one chance at a first impression. I suggest Julia Child because it's easy to do. 'Save the giblets.' 

This is hilarious as the sun only rises once a day. Other than Alex while she is studying, none of his children ever get up early enough to see the sunrise.

12. Watch a sunrise at least once a day.

Loved the show Modern Family and this is one of my favorite part from the show. So, wanted to share it.

11. You can tell a lot about a person from his biography.

Similar ideas to 11. You can tell a lot about a person from his biography.

Learn to read self-help books

Write down 3 things in the evening that you can appreciate about yourself.

One Life, But You Can Sneak Into Your Choices In The Future