The greatest of our assumptions is that we are in some way all important. Everything and everyone revolves around us. It’s best not to take yourself so seriously. No one else does. When in relation with yourself, give yourself your due. But when in relationship with external things, give precedence to causal relationships.

The chosen one

The idea is that in doing anything we in turn gain something for ourselves or lose something. But in reality the world does not have such a black and white view of things. At most times the greatest thing you can do is to do things, you have an ability to do without thinking of the end result.

Gain and loss

To really drive the point home, let’s take the example of an argument with a friend. You could take it as a conflict in which one of you has to win or lose, in such a scenario you would focus on finding the best arguments and actions to defeat your perceived opponent and beat him into submission. But in this we lose sight of what’s really important, that being friendship. But in turn if you shift your focus to that of valuing your friendship over everything else, you would be able to have a discussion with your friend in such a way; you both walk away from this situation even better friends.

Gain and loss - Real world example

In order to be aware, we must ask ourselves at every point;“What assumption am I making, that I’m not aware I’m making, that gives me what I see?”The idea is to identify your wrong assumptions and act on accurate ones. It’s about actually seeing the world for the way it is.  Let’s begin by acknowledging some common assumptions;

The Question

We all live our lives with some accepted notions on how to act, behave and think. We believe in certain things as being possible based on the rules of how (we believe) the world works. But in reality, a lot of these accepted rules are only our assumptions. We don’t see the world as it is but on the basis of our biases. Our perspective seriously restricts our options. In order to free ourselves from these self-imposed crutches, we need to be aware of them.

It’s all invented

We all perceive our position in a perceived hierarchy as a measure of our ability to make an impact. We must understand it isn’t the chair that gives power; but the ability to take action. And that ability exists, no matter where we find ourselves.

Leading from any chair

The idea is to break through your assumptions and see reality for what it is really without bias or emotion. Then it is accepting it for what it is. It is taking a bad event and taking responsibility for your part in it and letting go of everything else. It is in one hand, to identify non-negotiable absolutes, accept them and work your way up from there. But in reality, there are very few absolutes.

Seeing reality

Similarly in almost every case, when you find yourself in a box while trying to do something. You will be amazed to find the box mostly imaginary. Once you notice it, the box disappears. This leaves you free to achieve your goal. But in a similar way, if you find it hard to reach a height; we may imagine a box to stand on to extend our reach.

Conclusion

We all have biases about people based on our first impressions, their appearance, etc. Similarly we tend to account any negative action as arising from a negative character. The idea is not to look at the perceived negatives even in a bad situation and give people the benefit of the doubt. To think that people are inherently good and want to do what’s right. This enables us to see the other person in a positive light and in most cases no one is inherently evil; you will be amazed at the outcomes of many a interaction with this slight shift in perspective.

Give everyone an A

For example the idea of giving everyone an A is an invented story which takes the place of the common narrative the world is out to get you and people are inherently bad. In this framework, you treat people kindly which in most cases would in turn have them reciprocate. Nothing about the situation changes but your actions and thoughts change due to your viewpoint.

Redefining reality - An example

A simple way to practice it’s all invented is to ask yourself this question:"What assumption am I making,That I’m not aware I’m making,That gives me what I see?"And when you have an answer to that question, ask yourself this one:"What might I now invent,That I haven’t yet invented,That would give me other choices?"And then you can invent spaces, narratives and beliefs so that instead of hindering you; enables you to reach for your goals.

Redefining reality

We measure ourselves as opposed to something. The truth is we are ends in ourselves and that comparison with anything is not worthwhile or warranted. The truth is comparison is only possible among things that are in essence the same and in reality truly nothing is inherently the same. It’s best to live your life outside the limited confines of comparison. And if you truly want to compare yourself to someone, compare yourself to who you were yesterday.

The world of measurement

The world is a certain way because we have been trained to see it a certain way. This book tells you there is a choice and we can always see things differently. And that idea in itself is revolutionary.

A NATIONAL BESTSELLER Discover the twelve breakthrough practices for bringing creativity and a sense of possibility into all of your endeavors in this bestselling guide from the author of Pathways to Possibility Presenting twelve breakthrough practices for bringing creativity into all human endeavors, The Art of Possibility is the dynamic product of an extraordinary partnership. The Art of Possibility combines Benjamin Zander's experience as conductor of the Boston Philharmonic and his talent as a teacher and communicator with psychotherapist Rosamund Stone Zander's genius for designing innovative paradigms for personal and professional fulfillment. The authors' harmoniously interwoven perspectives provide a deep sense of the powerful role that the notion of possibility can play in every aspect of life. Through uplifting stories, parables, and personal anecdotes, the Zanders invite us to become passionate communicators, leaders, and performers whose lives radiate possibility into the world.

philosophy

Philosophy

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

books

Books

In their playing you hear not only precision, color and balance, but thunder, lightning and the language of the heart. This is what the Boston Globe said about a performance by conductor Benjamin Zander with the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra, but it could apply equally to the Zanders' inspirational book, the product of a synthesis of the diverse worlds of the symphony orchestra and cutting-edge psychology. The Art of Possibility offers a set of breakthrough practices for creativity in all human enterprises. Infused with the energy of their dynamic partnership, the book joins together Ben's extraordinary talent as a mover and shaker, teacher, and communicator, with Rosamund Stone Zander's genius for creating innovative paradigms for personal and professional fulfillment. In lively counterpoint, the authors provide us with a deep sense of the powerful role that the notion of possibility can play in every aspect of our lives. The Zanders' deceptively simple practices are based on two premises: that life is composed as a story ("it's all invented") and that, with new definitions, much more is possible than people ordinarily think. The book shifts our perspective with uplifting stories, parables, and anecdotes from the authors' personal experiences as well as from famous and everyday heroes. From "Giving an A," to the mysterious "Rule Number 6," to "Leading from Any Chair"-the account of Ben's stunning realization that the conductor/leader's power is directly linked to how much greatness he is willing to grant to others-each practice offers an opportunity for personal and organizational transformation. The Art of Possibility provides a life-altering approach to fulfilling dreams large and small. The Zanders invite us all to become passionate communicators, leaders, and performers whose lives radiate possibility into the world.Rosamund Stone Zander is a family therapist and a landscape painter. Benjamin Zander is the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra and a professor at the New England Conservatory of Music. Based on the principles developed through the authors' unique partnership, Mr. Zander gives presentations to managers and executives around the world and Ms. Zander conducts workshops for organizations on practicing the art of possibility.

The chosen one

Similar ideas to The chosen one

Simple Friendships

Step 2: Ask yourself what the long-term consequences of this will be.

Moving on from the work guilt