"Punishment doesn't work," she writes in her book. "When you punish someone, that person doesn't learn how to change; they learn how to avoid the source of the punishment." 

If you are the source of your own punishment then you learn to avoid yourself. This might look like overworking, overspending, or numbing yourself with excessive consumption of social media or TV shows.

None of this actually helps you grow, though. 

Punishment can be mistaken for a handful of things: discipline, personal accountability, natural consequence, and rehabilitation.