8. Be a researcher in relationships

The desire to feel in control of our limited time causes numerous problems in relationships, resulting not only in controlling behavior, but also the inability to listen, boredom, and missing out on the richness of experiences with others.

When faced with a challenging or boring moment, try being curious about the person you’re with, rather than controlling.

Curiosity is a stance well-suited to the inherent unpredictability of life with others, because it can be satisfied by their behaving in ways you like or dislike — whereas if you demand a certain result instead, you’ll often be frustrated.