Our lymbic system controls our emotional responses and impulsive actions and hence, most of our nonverbal behaviour. We have no control over them, which is why they are so reliable.We are born with three instinctive behaviours that we use when being confronted with dangerous situations or problems:<ol><li>Our first reaction is to freeze. We stop all of our movements, try to hide ourselves and consider our actions.</li><li>We go into flight mode. We run away, turn away or try to get out of the situation.</li><li>If this doesn't help, we go into fight mode. We fight, argue or try to prove our point.</li></ol>

The Lymbic System

<ul><li>We tend to control our face the most which is why it is the least reliable. However, our feet are often forgotten, which is why they are most reliable. The deeper the body part, the more reliable it is.</li><li>Body language is dependent on culture. Consider the context.</li><li>Keep in mind the rules mentioned above. Sudden changes in behaviour as a reaction to a question or situation are very reliable. Find out why they occured.</li><li>The first reaction is usually the most authentic and reliable. When behaviour appears both positive and negative, the negative one is often more reliable.</li></ul>

Key Takeaways

Detecting lies is very hard as there is no specific behaviour to it. Be very careful with who and why you judge.Sudden changes in behaviour that display discomfort or stress followed by self-soothing behaviour or fewer movement because of freeze mode might be good indicators.Watch out whether or not someone's behaviour matches their words and their emotions, for instance:<ul><li>Saying they went in the right direction put pointing with their hand to the left.</li><li>Saying they are very sad but lifting their toes up like a happy child.</li><li>Saying "no" but nodding with the head or shaking their head afterwards.</li></ul>

Detecting Lies

Most of our communication is nonverbal through gestures and facial expressions. Understanding nonverbal behaviour comes with lots of benefits:<ul><li>Understanding emotions and feelings of other people. Hence, you can improve your relationships.</li><li>Detecting lies and understanding someone's true intentions. With that, you can protect yourself better from harmful situations.</li><li>Using body language for your own advantage so that you can appear a certain way and come off as more confident etc.</li></ul>

Nonverbal Communication

In the book, Navarro goes in-depth on all and more of these behaviours. This is a very brief summary, which is why I highly recommend reading the entire book.<ul><li>Behaviour that displays discomfort or stress: Hiding yourself, creating distance, turning away, closing your eyes. This includes self-soothing behaviour such as fixing your appearance or touching your neck or any other body part.</li><li>Behaviour that displays happiness or comfort: Any behaviour that goes against gravity such as lifting your feet up, wide arm movements, raising eyebrows, a smile with the eyes involved.</li></ul>

A Few Behaviours Explained

<ol><li>Make sure to observe someone closely.</li><li>Consider the context of your observation. For instance, someone might sweat because they just ran to the bus stop and not because they are lying.</li><li>Watch out for universal nonverbal behaviour such as stepping away.</li><li>Watch out for idiosyngratic behaviour that is typical for that person.</li><li>Consider multiple tells. Watch out for more than one behaviour.</li><li>Find out someone's normal behaviour.</li><li>Watch out for sudden changes in their behaviour.</li><li>Know when behaviour is authentic or acted.</li><li>Notice the difference between being comfortable and being uncomfortable.</li><li>Observe discreetly.</li></ol>

Rules For Analysing Behaviour

Former FBI agent Joe Navarro explains various nonverbal behaviours as well as why and how to analyse them. I highly recommend reading the entire book.

Joe Navarro, a former FBI counterintelligence officer and a recognized expert on nonverbal behavior, explains how to "speed-read" people: decode sentiments and behaviors, avoid hidden pitfalls, and look for deceptive behaviors. You'll also learn how your body language can influence what your boss, family, friends, and strangers think of you. Read this book and send your nonverbal intelligence soaring. You will discover:<ul><li>The ancient survival instincts that drive body language</li><li>Why the face is the least likely place to gauge a person's true feelings</li><li>What thumbs, feet, and eyelids reveal about moods and motives</li><li>The most powerful behaviors that reveal our confidence and true sentiments</li><li>Simple nonverbals that instantly establish trust</li><li>Simple nonverbals that instantly communicate authority</li></ul>Filled with examples from Navarro's professional experience, this definitive book offers a powerful new way to navigate your world.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

books

Books

Joe Navarro is an author, public speaker and ex-FBI agent. Navarro specializes in the area of nonverbal communication or body language and has authored numerous books.

Joe Navarro

Librarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.Marvin Karlins is a best-selling writer and co-author of two poker books, Read ‘em and Reap and Deal Me In, as well as the pioneering text, P$yching Out Vegas. He was also senior editor and columnist at Gambling Times/Win Magazine for a decade. His poker articles have been featured in Cardplayer and Bluff magazines.